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Forum
-> Parenting our children
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amother
Jade
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 Tue, Jul 02 2024, 6:03 am
I was at the Shiva and possibly the funeral for my Bubbie's aunt when I was too young to remember properly.
After that I was at the Shiva for a new friend I'd made who lost her dad in 8th grade. A bunch of other people in the friend group were there and it was mostly just like hanging out.
In 9th grade my Zaidy passed away and I was at the funeral and the Shiva, which was in my house since my Mom was a mourner.
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Ruchel
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Tue, Jul 02 2024, 6:18 am
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I think for gedolim, you see nothing, there's a crowd.. It's somehow different to follow the cortege with an older child
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dankbar
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Tue, Jul 02 2024, 6:21 am
First levaya, I was 12. My gfather passed away. I remember my mom sitting and crying hearing the news, and I didn't know what to do to comfort her. It was scary, because she was my rock, and I thought she's crumbling. All she wanted was be, we shoukd let her cry and not do anything for her to stop.
Then after levaya, we the big cousins took the little ones to pizza shop for lunch, and my cousins were laughing having a good time, getting together. I was appalled, how inappropriate and immature. I was a mature deep thinker girl, and feeling sad very strongly.
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amother
Jean
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Tue, Jul 02 2024, 7:30 am
I was 6.
I remember sitting in the car at the cemetery for my great grandfather's funeral. Although it's possible it was the unveiling. I just remember sitting in the car and there was a lot of snow. He passed away in mid-December
I imagine my dad or someone else was in the car with me, but I don't remember who.
I just remember the snow and being at a cemetery and people were very sad.
My mother's cousin was set to get married during the shloshim, and I remember everyone being sad my great grandfather wouldn't be there. That was the first wedding I had been to. I remember crying because I wanted to sit with my dad and couldn't.
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amother
Puce
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Tue, Jul 02 2024, 7:43 am
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First shiva when I was 7-8 when my great grandparent lost a sibling first levaya when I was 10 for my little cousin who was sick that was very overwhelming for me I’ve always been afraid of dying or death as a kid I think it was too much for me to handle. Though by 12 already had gone to numerous shivas for a few friends fathers and a bunch of great greataunts. I’ve always been numb thru all those. Now I’m older and by a grandparents levaya and shiva and was able to appreciate being there.
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Ruchel
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Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:11 pm
I'm ready Sarina a sephardic holocaust journey and she says "it was a custom that women were prohibited from attending the funeral"
I discovered it's not Ashkenazi only
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amother
Butterscotch
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Thu, Jul 04 2024, 1:44 pm
At around age 12 my first cousin a baby passed away... It was so so sad, I was so scared that I didn't go to the shivah even though my younger sister did go.
First shivah was at about 14 a classmates brother passed away in a very tragic accident, the whole class had a routine to go I remember we spoke about everything accept the reason why we came until my friend showed a picture of her brother we were all lost for words and on the way home we went to toilet in a shop but some of us were crying.
I use to see levayes on the road when young but didn't always know who's it is so the first one that I remember that was personal was when my neighbour a very close friend's mother passed away I was weeping without being embarrassed...
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amother
Canary
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Yesterday at 12:56 pm
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First Shiva-In My own home for my Sibling. I was 5.
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amother
Navy
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Yesterday at 1:04 pm
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When I was in 11th grade I went for the first time in my life to a shiva house. I went three times… our teacher lost her son and 2 classmates lost brothers. All very sudden and traumatic.
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