Moving with kids | Imamother

amother

Sun, Dec 29 2024, 8:02 pm

I have many children from junior high thru baby kh. Due to dh job we moved soon after we got married about 1.5hr from our hometown (we grew up near each other. Adorable. I know).

Anyway, this location is a nice frum community. We landed here kinda by default bc of this job. Kids were born and started school and we are so happy with their schools. Both boys and girls are all thriving and happy and love school. I feel very connected to the schools and think they happen to be unique for certain reasons.

Fast fwd many years. DH job changed and is working completely remote and he isn’t happy where we live. We own a big beautiful house bh but he simply isn’t happy in our community. He wants to move back to our hometown to be close to our families. We still have a bunch of single siblings we are close to and married siblings who live there too. We also have some close friends there.
I’d be fine moving but the kids!!! How do we just pik up and move when they are so so so thriving??

We wouldn’t be able to get a house like the one we have now and I’d feel awful uprooting the kids.

I want dh to be happy. But how do qe do that to the kids?

emee2

Sun, Dec 29 2024, 9:11 pm

Do you know anything about the school options in the other city?
Would you be getting a smaller house?
Why exactly does dh want to move? It can’t just be about family. 1.5 hrs is not far you could easily see them quite regularly…

amother

Cadetblue

Sun, Dec 29 2024, 9:14 pm

I’m in the same position. And my husband is very very vocal abt his emotions. I don’t have the answers but we got to a better communication point thru therapy and a good Rav.
I think it’s a matter of time before we pickup and move (very similar story)

essie14

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 2:42 am

amother Mintgreen wrote:

I'd be very very hesitant to uproot kids who are thriving in their schools. If the move will negatively effect even 1 of your children you will regret this.

Agree
Kids being successful in school is your priority now.

amother

Teal

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 2:47 am

amother Mintgreen wrote:

I'd be very very hesitant to uproot kids who are thriving in their schools. If the move will negatively effect even 1 of your children you will regret this.

This!!!

soproud

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 11:46 pm

My children were young (not yet in 1st grade) when my husband and I decided it was time to relocate. We were happy, the kids were happy, and things were lining up for the most part. Yet we had compelling reasons to relocate.

I reached out to a dear friend who is much older and wiser and whom I consider a mentor of sorts. One of the excellent points she raised was- is this move for you and your husband, or for the children? Your children are the biggest responsibility you have.

So after much deliberation, we went ahead and relocated. BH it’s been almost ten wonderful years since.

I bless you that Hashem should give you the wisdom to do what’s best for your family, with ease and peace of mind.

amother

Lawngreen

Yesterday at 1:43 am

Maybe it will help to share my experience.
We lived in a community for years and my kids were happy with our lives there but dh and I realized that the values no longer matched ours so we looked for a new community and moved.
I was so nervous to take kids from the only home they knew where they were happy to a whole new place but BH it really worked out for us. We feel so much more aligned in this community and our kids are all so happy we moved.
May it be the same for you and also, being near family is huge so if you can do that, that will be great for everyone.
Hatzlacha

familyfirst

Yesterday at 2:03 am

Before moving, spend some time there. Check out the shul, the school, look into homes. Don’t make rash decisions.

Something to consider:
Don’t sell this home. Rent it out for a year or two while you rent and live in the other community. You can always come back if this doesn’t work out