Ruined toys, what's normal?

amother

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 9:57 am

I'm trying to figure out if my kids are normal or I'm parenting wrong. How long do new toys last in your house? How normal is it to break a toy or lose pieces within a week or so of getting it? How long do children's books last in your house?
My mother is horrified by how fast my kids destroy toys but she had 3 kids each 4 years apart and I have 4 kids, oldest is 6 and I'm having a baby any day so there's more kids and more action in my house. I don't think my kids are intentionally destructive, more just careless. I do emphasize being respectful of property but I also can't choose every battle. I'm trying to figure out if I need to give more energy to preserving our toys or this is a normal stage for our family

amother

Azure

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:01 am

It’s not common in my house. Only really junky Chinese knock off stuff break. Good quality toys have lasted us a long time 10+ years. My oldest is a teen and I can count on my fingers how many broke. Are you getting fisher price/ little tikes/ play Mobil/ hasbro etc..? Some books have wear and tear but none are destroyed.

mummiedearest

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:02 am

Whatever it is, it’s normal for your kids. Don’t fret over it.

Keep in mind that quality is often worse these days (thinner plastic, etc) and kids seem to have more toys now as well. If you want to teach your kids to respect their toys, don’t replace them when broken. No need to overthink it.

Last edited by mummiedearest on Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:04 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:05 am

amother Azure wrote:

So the fisher price stuff, little times and play mobil actually last (if we don't lose all the tiny play mobil accessories) but puzzles lose pieces, books are all falling apart after a year or two, random Jewish brand toys break usually within a week or two of getting them.

My kids are the first grandchildren on both sides so they have a lot of toys, I never replace when they break and we rotate them so they aren't all out at once, but often my mother will buy a cheap toy set and be upset that 6 months later it's in the garbage

amother

Caramel

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:10 am

My boys are forever shredding and breaking stuff. I also don't know how to relate to it and sometimes just want to stop buying. When I was a kid, I was much more careful.
But maybe it's not a fair comparison - I was a girl, had no brothers, didn't have adhd, and yeah, toys were better quality then.

imaima

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:21 am

amother OP wrote:

Sounds normal

amother

Vanilla

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:27 am

It’s somewhat normal for junk toys to break after a while. But certain toys which aren’t junk but are the type which can easily break if left around on the floor and stepped on, those will all be broken quickly in homes where rules about not stepping on toys, cleaning up toys, etc image not enforced. Puzzle/game/toy pieces will eventually be lost by most 4-5-6-7 year old kids unless parents are on top of making sure pieces are put back where they belong, which I think a responsible parent should do.

It’s also normal for books to be ruined quickly if young children have access to them. But I do think it’s the parents responsibility to make sure their babies/toddlers don’t have access to rip up the books. Which is why my young kids only have access to board books and the other books are on higher shelves. And I remind my bigger kids that if they leave their books on the floor they may get ripped. But btw even some of my most loved sturdy board books have gotten ruined after they’ve gone through 2-3 kids. That’s normal. It’s also normal for thin staples paper books like Bernstein bears to fall apart after a while even if big kids are careful. I do try to repair them tho. And it’s normal for pages to rip in books too sometimes, which I tape.

At the end of the day if most of your regular quality books and toys are only lasting a few weeks/months then you probably aren’t being as “on top” of them as you should be. But if this is a busy time in your life and this is the area you choose to be lax in then who can judge, not me!

lamplighter

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 10:29 am

Some kids are more destructive or heavy handed with toys than others.
My kids are not good about putting away toys so pieces get lost or stepped on and broken and that really upsets me because it's preventable.
I will admit having a hard time when other children are in my house and are destructive or aggressive with toys and things break. My kids aren't like this (they have plenty other issues just not this dw) and I'm not used to it at all. I still struggle with what are normal expectations.

amother

Teal

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:09 am

I don't buy frum brand toys. Besides for books and a stuffed Torah we have- they are pretty much all junk.
Other than that (and the junk prizes from school) my kids toys last at least a few years. The occasional magnatile (even knockoff brand lasts!) will get cracked. We lose a doll shoe (but usually lands in the lego bucket!). But we have most toys more than that 6 month milestone you listed.
Yes toys won't be handed down to my grandkids like my parents handed down some of my old toys. Plastic doesnt last like wood does (except legos. Those will last and I will be able to pass on). But they should last some time.
We get plastic buckets (target has great ones- I use their medium sized one that stacks. We don't have a toy closet). Each is for a different type of toy. Make the kids clean up each day.
My kids have ADHD so I work with them. I also labeled buckets so it is clear what goes where. (I drew on a 3x5 card and taped it on. Nothing fancy. The magnatile box has a blue triangle, green square. Kids see it is clearly for magnatiles).

scintilla

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:37 am

amother OP wrote:

Yes this sounds normal to me. Honestly 6 months is pretty good for a cheap toy set!!

Bnei Berak 10

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:42 am

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

My boys also break all toys and books very fast. They don't have the built in sense to care for their belongings that me and DH had. I don't know if it's our fault or not, but I don't want my life to be constantly criticizing and nagging my kids.

It's about teaching them to be careful. Tell them in clear words of they break toys they will NOT get new ones. You just don't buy!

amother

Dustypink

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:48 am

As others have said cheap toys could get ruined.

Teach your kids how to take care of their puzzles. Puzzles and board games are in a separate category. Puzzles get made only when all other toys are put away. Like the dining room. You have to be the one to put these toys on the shelf. Help your child count the peices. if you see a peice missing right away help your child look for the missing peice.

I keep out just a few loved book. What type depends on your kids. Sometimes a teething kid will chew on the board books. I like hard covered books with laminated pages. Its easy to wipe down. We tape those books thousands of times before we discard it. All other books I hold onto. I read it to the kids by story time,friday night and bedtime. Kids at 4 I have taught and trust not to rip.
Wood toys paint could come off as well as
Mitzvah kinder/kinder velt paint comes off very easily. Mitzvah kinder is tougher and has less small prices.
Playmobile/Mitzvah kinder/kinder velt I take away the small peices they only get them when it's all kids playing that toy on an empty floor and Im able to supervise.

Mega Blocs,duplo, Blocks clics are tough to leave out. You should be somewhat on top of your toddlers at playtime. To prevent them from throwing toys out the windows and into vents. Prices could also go under furniture.

Dolls and teddy bears get washed with linen. Toddlers that are attached to teddybears get washed weekly or even daily.

No toys, books, or games get played with real food. Nothing gets played in the kitchen or near food. We have separate outdoor toys and bath toys.
Toys don't go outside because they get lost and dirty.

mommyhood

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:58 am

amother OP wrote:

I tell my parents/in laws to assume any cheap toys they get my kids are one time use. My kids enjoy them so I’m fine with them buying it but I can’t be responsible for maintaining what’s essentially junk. The good toys, magnatiles, duplo, cars, dolls etc. those things don’t get destroyed so fast and we keep them well and the more delicate things like games, playmobil those type of things we keep separate from the regualr toys out of reach of toddlers so they shouldn’t get destroyed.
Books I don’t have a solution for. I don’t even think my kids are so hard on them so I’m not sure why they get ruined so fast.

amother

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:59 am

Ok so I think I can conclude that this is within the range of normal but if I invested more energy into policing the toy usage it wouldn't be this bad.

I'll also add that almost none of their toys were purchased by me so we have a lot of very random things that don't necessarily make sense and I would never have bought because they don't work for my kids so that's probably also contributing to how fast they get ruined

mummiedearest

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:52 pm

There is a solution to beloved non-board books- a laminating machine. I bought one years ago for sukkah decorations. Some books we have lose their binding from lots of use. You can laminate pages and use binder rings to keep the book together. If you want to go above and beyond, get a cheap binding machine to give the book a plastic spine. We are serious bookworms in this house and have gone through multiple copies of some books. The newer editions have thinner paper and cheaper binding. Sometimes it’s worth preserving the books you have instead of replacing them. If you’re buying Jewish kiddie books, buy the laminated option if it exists. And op, point your mother to the little people/playmobil/etc types if she wants her gifts to last.