Dh ruined my credit score

amother

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:00 am

So dh insisted he wants to pay for the house even though he doesn’t work.
He won’t so much as let me see the bills because he is the man and he will pay for it.
I think it’s an ego thing.

But now he missed a payment and my credit score just got ruined. I had a perfect credit score and now it is fair.

I’m so upset.

How can I fix this? I always make sure to pay on time, worked so hard to build my credit.

Genius

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 11:57 am

Continue to pay your bills on time. The score goes back up, it’s not permanent.
Cut him some slack. He’s human like the rest of us (basing this off of the lack of info saying otherwise)

amother

Ebony

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:06 pm

I'm sorry to say, but he didn't miss just one payment. Credit scores are not dramatically affected by one missed payment. Time to really demand to look at everything. We are likely talking 6+ months and probably not just the house either. He might have opened up cards in your name, or borrowed against the house. One thing that is for sure is this didn't happen from one missed payment.

OOTforlife

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:09 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

Time to really demand to look at everything.

Agree with this, 110%. Major red flag if a spouse won't let you see your shared accounts and assets.

amother

Olive

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:01 pm

You need to take back control of your financial life. Open up an account in your name and a credit card and then put an alert on your social security number so nothing else can be opened. Get your credit report so you can see what accounts are in your name and close them.

You can consider claiming identity theft if you want.

Good luck.

amother

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:02 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

No way. So losing nearly 100 points because mortgage payment was past 30 days late is not it?

He is controlling. He hides everything. It’s a messy situation.
But wouldn’t I be able to see all my accounts in my name?
I haven’t seen any new accounts in my name.

If something is going on, who can help me get to the bottom of it?

kenz

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:04 pm

amother Olive wrote:

Did you really just suggest that OP should accuse her husband of identity theft? 😳

Genius

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

Late mortgage payments affect your credit immediately. No need to panic and blow this out of proportion.

Unless you need to take a big mortgage out tomorrow you have time to cool down and handle the entire control issue in a level headed manner.

amother

Hunter

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

It would not drop 100 points for paying your mortgage late one time.
There are websites you can go on to check your credit score and see everything open in your name and a detailed explanation of why your credit score is what it is.
After doing that and seeing what is really going on, I would definitely demand access to all financial accounts.

As a partner in your marriage you should have the ability to check any financial accounts at any point. You need to know all passwords.

Genius

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:28 pm

amother Hunter wrote:

It can drop that much in the first month. It climbs back up after.
I agree that both spouses should have equal access and knowledge about their finances.

amother

Papayawhip

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:59 pm

Open up a free account with creditkarma.com. you will be able to see everything which is listed under your name such as all open credit cards, lines of credit, car payments, mortgage etc. It will also show closed accounts.

amother

Lightpink

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 10:35 pm

Gosh I feel for you!
financial honesty is important in a marriage!

Last edited by amother on Thu, Jun 27 2024, 12:19 am; edited 1 time in total

amother

Olive

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 11:11 pm

kenz wrote:

Did you really just suggest that OP should accuse her husband of identity theft? 😳

No, I stated that her husband is financially abusive. One way of dealing with financial abusers is to claim identity theft

amother

Brunette

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 11:33 pm

It's human to miss a payment. Is there something specific you need a good credit for right now? You already own your house. You would need a good credit to purchase a home, open new credit cards, or get a car. If you don't need any of those immediately it will get higher in a few months.

I'm more concerned about you not having access to finances and payments. That's not okay in a marriage.

amother

Lightpink

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 12:17 am

I recently had the same story where I forgot to make payments on my Bloomingdales credit card
I was very anxious because I desperately needed to get a new car, I ended up hiring a credit fixer, they were able to bring my credit up back to where it was before
they only charged me when it was done
if u need their contact, their email address is info@improvecreditsolutions.com

amother

Maroon

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 12:40 am

I never understand how people so quickly claim facts about things that just aren’t true and can be quickly verified. Why make OP scared that who knows what is going on?
It’s not good to not know finances, but that does not mean something terrible is going on.
If you had a perfect score, missing one mortgage payment would make your score drop at least 100 points. The good news is that it doesn’t take very long for it to go back up. Once it’s paid it will go back up a lot and after six months should really effect you. See here: https://helpmebuildcredit.com/.....edit/

amother

Whitewash

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 12:57 am

amother Olive wrote:

No, I stated that her husband is financially abusive. One way of dealing with financial abusers is to claim identity theft

So he can get arrested?? Identity theft is illegal, and credit card companies go after the perpetrators. Unless she plans on her DH being charged, she should NOT claim identity theft.

amother

Begonia

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 1:24 am

amother Brunette wrote:

I'm more concerned about you not having access to finances and payments. That's not okay in a marriage.

This. It's even more concerning to not have access for the accounts under your own name.

You should never relinquish control for anything under your own name. And you should keep tabs on your credit score to ensure that your identity and accounts are secured.

Nevermind the concern about a dh secretly messing things up for a wife or hiding stuff from her. But ch"v something happens to a dh, how will the wife be able to gain access to the accounts?

OP, your setup is a recipe for trouble.