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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

OP ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:41 pm

Is it normal for to go out with a friend and for her to text and be on her phone for a lot of the time ? I don’t know why I’m feeling so hurt from it. Maybe it’s totally normal.. do you text other friends or are on your phone when you go out with a friend ?

amother

Stonewash

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:42 pm

No. It’s rude.

yaye

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:43 pm

It is rude, but not a reflection of you. She’s probably very addicted to her phone and couldn’t get away from it. Or,If you want to be DLKZ, maybe she had an emergency she had to take care of) You should not feel bad but she was wrong

Last edited by yaye on Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:44 pm; edited 1 time in total

amother

Blushpink

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:43 pm

Unfortunately it’s become more common, though it shouldn’t.

You’re normal for feeling hurt.

I’d maybe be DLKZ, like maybe she was very anxious about something and waiting for an update?

Dolly Welsh ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:43 pm

She was rude.

amother

Tomato

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:45 pm

I was just responding on another thread about my ex best friend. That was one of the things she used to do. I found it frustrating. It's rude.
Once I even confiscated her phone LOL

amother

Blue

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:45 pm

Walk down the street. Or on a bus.See how many people are busy looking down at their phones.
It's a sad reality
Don't take it personal

amother

Magenta

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:48 pm

At our chanukah party someone snapped a pic of the men's table and almost all are on their phones. The phone situation is out of control

↑ Dolly Welsh ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:50 pm

amother Blushpink wrote:

Unfortunately it’s become more common, though it shouldn’t.

You’re normal for feeling hurt.

I’d maybe be DLKZ, like maybe she was very anxious about something and waiting for an update?

Then she should have said something about that, excusing herself.

amother

Yolk ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:53 pm

Definitely not about you. Either this is just how she is, or she had something she needed to be following. Doesn't even need to be an emergency - maybe she left a sick kid home with dh and is nervous, or her mother texted her and is the type who gets nervous when she doesn't text back.

amother

↑ Yolk

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:54 pm

Dolly Welsh wrote:

Then she should have said something about that, excusing herself.

Sometimes people don't realize how often they are checking their phone. It's good to have this to remind us to be more aware, and say something if necessary.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:58 pm

Just to clarify - for some reason I’m feeling it more today more than usual but she does this all the time when we go out. She’ll keep checking her phone and texting people back every few minutes . While I’m sitting there across from her.. but thanks for all the reassurances and yes it’s a great reminder , for me too , to be more careful about putting our phones down around people ..

tigerwife

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 7:59 pm

It’s bad social skills on her part. Are you close enough with her to address it?

↑ Dolly Welsh ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 8:06 pm

amother Blue wrote:

Walk down the street. Or on a bus.See how many people are busy looking down at their phones.
It's a sad reality
Don't take it personal

Ignoring the world is one thing, by being on your phone. The world doesn't care. But if you are ignoring people, including children, you are insulting them. Someone else is more interesting to you than they are, is the message.

Apart from some very brief thing. Not constantly, or long conversations

↑ Dolly Welsh

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 8:13 pm

Oh and if people are at a table to eat, and a phone is on the table, it as if a shoe were on the table.

Not at table. Ruuuude.

If you need your phone, excuse yourself, go where nobody can see you, and finish that up. Come back to the table with your phone not visible.

zaq

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 12:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

Understand: "normal"=what a large portion of people do. This is not the same as"polite" or "acceptable."

It has unfortunately become quite common, ergo "normal", for people to engage more with their phones than with people. It is nevertheless unspeakably rude.

You have every right to feel hurt. The message you're receiving is " my phone is more important, or more interesting, than you are." The truth may be "I've become a statistic: addicted to my phone, riddled with FOMO, lacking the backbone to disconnect from the infernal device even when it threatens my relationships. I need help ."

I would tell my friend" I can see that you're busy with something very important. I had hoped to have a nice shmooze with you but as that's not happening, I'm going to leave now. Let me know when you're free to chat with me." And then I would leave. Unless, of course, she put away the infernal device and gave me her full attention.

imaima

Tue, Dec 31 2024, 12:21 pm

amother OP wrote:

She is rude

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