How to make sure your babies are safe in playgroup

amother

↑ Chicory

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:12 am

GLUE wrote:

The Morah left and had her husband subbing? Is that what you are saying?
Why is that so bad? Do you feel that her husband was not taking care of the kids?
Would you have wanted to know that her husband was taking care of the kids instead of her? Is that why you are upset?
Would you have felt better if she hired a women sub?

A morah must be honest with parents and let them know that her husband may occasionally be babysitting.
This morah was not honest with parents, you can't know how often she left her husband in charge while she went out of the house. This is something parents need to be told about.

amother

↑ DarkYellow

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 9:52 am

amother Hosta wrote:

My husband loves taking care of kids. He’s so much better at it than me, childcare kills me. I would never be a babysitter but if I hit my head and decided to become one, I might turn into an abusive one because shockingly to you, despite having a vag, I just don’t like taking care of kids and do not have patience for them.

My husband on the other hand would be an amazing babysitter and actually wishes he could start a babysitting group but knows people wouldn’t be okay with it. And maybe that makes sense because statistically, men are more abusive than women. But he is not a statistic. He is not a pedophile. He just likes taking care of toddlers and finds it fun.

Who are you to say that it’s not in the nature of a man to like taking care of children? That is so sexist and justifies the unequal childcare burden on women because men just aren’t made for it but women supposedly are.

I guess the mitzriyim were the first to shout sexist at the jews and switch men and lady jobs around . There are always exceptions but Stop convincing yourself its normal for a guy to run a day care .

amother

Forsythia

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 10:18 am

amother Hosta wrote:

My husband is also great with kids and much better at childcare than I am. Like after dinner he automatically does the baths/bedtime while I do the kitchen cleanup. But the key is it's with OUR kids and not strangers.

he absolutely would NOT want to be a babysitter or work in a daycare. That is very very socially off and honestly a red flag

amother

Vanilla

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:10 pm

1) I am friends with private playgroup morahs and occasionally visit them during work. If I interact with the kids a little, I don't think it's wrong. I've subbed a few times for them too.

2) I know morahs who have had their husband cover for an hour or two if they couldn't find a sub. The kids called him Morah Tatty LOL

amother

Chartreuse

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:25 pm

I had the opposite problem... I interviewed for a job at a day-care. The owner said that her husband is around a lot (he sees to the business side of it) and asked that I dress 'appropriately' at all times.

Appropriately in her rule-book meant:
-thick tights
-midi skirt or longer
-snood (no sheitel)
-full sleeve (no three quarter)
-no drop earrings

I didn't take the job!

For context, I dress very modestly. I live in a Yeshivishe town where 'modern dress' is quite rare, altho there are plenty stylish woman, waaay more with-it then me.
I learned by Rav Falk, and dress according to his guidelines. I felt I couldn't work somewhere because a man needed me to be frummer then I am. Felt creepy and weird.

If I lived in a town where my dress standards were less-then the standards of the town then I could understand that if I want a job in a town mosad I have to dress likewise. But this was just off!

amother

NeonPink ↓

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:35 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

She knows fully well that its not normal for a man to run a day care that is why her husband doesnt do it. It doesnt mean he is a pedo because he would want to or he enjoys looking after babies and young kids even if they arent his own.

I have a playgroup in my home for one yr olds. DH is in and out for the first hour or 2 each day and when he has off (the parents are aware) The kids love him, many of them call him abba and by the end of the yr would happily run to hug him when he walks in the room. He also helps me take the photos when we need pictures taking as I can get the kid in the right position and smiling whilst he clicks.
The once or twice a year I need a sub I always wish my husband could sub instead of me having to find a random women or seminary girl who I dont know well and the kids dont know at all. I dont do it as its not an accepted thing to do but healthy wise for the kids they would be a lot happier with my husband there than a random person. (besides for the changing of diapers my husband would be fine with it)

amother

↑ NeonPink

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:37 pm

amother Forsythia wrote:

So he is a great father. some men are also great with other peoples kids...

Simple1

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 5:49 pm

With the price of subs these, of course she’s gonna ask her husband to babysit. And some men do love kids but since it’s not socially accepted to run playgroups, they might become rebbes and run kids programs and day camps etc.

↑ GLUE

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 6:35 pm

amother DarkYellow wrote:

I learned that men's job is a job that stays such as building houses, after you build a house you expect it to stay up and not have to build it again tomorrow.
A women's job is a job that goes away like making food. You make supper one day the next day you are making supper again.

The hard labor was every day they build up houses and every day had to do it all over again, that is why it was called women's work.

amother

Indigo

Thu, Oct 10 2024, 6:54 pm

I had a morah once who had her husband sub occasionally for short periods of time. I didnt love it but no red flags.

I have stayed to help a friend ganenet who has way too high of a ratio. I doubt any of the mothers would be upset that I held her baby so he didnt have to scream or that I prepared a bottle so a baby would have a shorter wait.