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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Teenagers and Older children
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amother
OP
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 Mon, Jul 08 2024, 9:46 pm
A friend asked my son to buy him something from Amazon.
It cost $45. My son told the other boy that he will but it for him but he has to pay my son an extra $35 for his time and to deliver it.
I was so not happy with it but my son said that this boy knows how much it really is but doesn't have a way to get it so he is willing to pay the extra money to get it.
I don't even know if his parents allow it. I don't know who this boy is but it's a friend of a friend.
Should I make my son give the extra money back or let him keep it?
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amother
Phlox
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 9:54 pm
| amother OP wrote: | A friend asked my son to buy him something from Amazon.
It cost $45. My son told the other boy that he will but it for him but he has to pay my son an extra $35 for his time and to deliver it.
I was so not happy with it but my son said that this boy knows how much it really is but doesn't have a way to get it so he is willing to pay the extra money to get it.
I don't even know if his parents allow it. I don't know who this boy is but it's a friend of a friend.
Should I make my son give the extra money back or let him keep it? |
How old are these boys? I'm more concerned about going behind his parents back than the financial deal they worked out.
Do you know what the item in question I
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rmbg
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 9:54 pm
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You need to ask a shaila. This might be ribis
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amother
Phlox
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 9:56 pm
| rmbg wrote: | | You need to ask a shaila. This might be ribis |
Ribis? He is being charged for a service.
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amother
RosePink
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 9:57 pm
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If he is old enough, I don’t see an issue with charging for his time. It’s annoying to order for others
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 9:57 pm
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It's not ribis to charge for a service (time and delivery) but I also wonder how old these boys are and if there is enough financial literacy on the part of the second boy to make an educated decision if it was worth it.
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amother
Lightcoral
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:02 pm
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Is your son allowed to have his own device with internet and make purchases himself or is he borrowing your phone/computer? If he’s using yours tell him you’re charging him $35 and give it back to the other boy
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amother
Peru
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:10 pm
OP, how old is your son? Please beware, this could be a huge problem if your son is buying things for his friends without their parents' permission. We unfortunately had an incident with our teen doing very similar. It became a big problem. Think about it this way, would you want your 13yo to buy an unlocked smart phone from his friend's Amazon account without your knowledge? Tread very carefully. It's not the service charge here that's the main issue (although $35 for a $45 purchase is probably also extortion), it's the going behind the parents' back that is a real concern.
You need to have a very serious conversation with your son. And one of you (either you or your son) needs to inform the other parents.
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amother
Jasmine
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:11 pm
| amother Lightcoral wrote: | | Is your son allowed to have his own device with internet and make purchases himself or is he borrowing your phone/computer? If he’s using yours tell him you’re charging him $35 and give it back to the other boy |
Was wondering this as well. Like who pays for his device, internet, and prime membership?
I wouldn’t necessarily force him to do anything (depending on his age regardless how could you?) but maybe have a discussion about being a fair and honest person in business and In friendship. It may be annoying but it’s not that big of a deal to order something, it takes seconds. Assuming your son isn’t driving across town in heavy traffic to drop it off at the friend. It’s practically stealing IMHO to charge a fee just for the fact that he knows the friend has no other option and is kind of forced to comply. And almost double the items cost!
There are business men who are honest but hustlers and make a good living not by scamming or treating people unfairly. Then there’s those who don’t care about others at all as long as their pockets get lined. Talk to your son and find out which he wants to be. Because the only part troubling about this whole exchange is that your son thinks it’s okay to take advantage of someone (a friend no less) like that, and that’s a bad habit that needs to be stopped
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amother
OP
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:12 pm
My son is 15.
He is going on my account to buy a mp4 for this boy.
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amother
Kiwi
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:14 pm
Please ask your son why his friend cannot buy it by himself.
We had a situation like this. I explained to my son why he had to tell his friend no.
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amother
Lightcoral
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:14 pm
| amother OP wrote: | My son is 15.
He is going on my account to buy a mp4 for this boy. |
In that case absolutely not. The other boy is likely using it to listen to music his parents wouldn’t approve of. You don’t have to be complicit, it’s your account.
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amother
Molasses
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:16 pm
I do not think you should be allowing your son to use your account to purchase items for another kid that his parents may or may not want him to have.
Your son is too young.
You need to be making decisions here.
This doesn’t smell good.
I would not have your son be the one to get kids things from an Amazon account that they didn’t have access to.
Especially using yours.
I also don’t think your son should have access to your Amazon account on his own although you didn’t say if he does or does not.
Your Amazon account should be for you and your family and not to purchase other kids things especially electronics that their parents may or may not want them to have.
I wouldn’t appreciate it if someone was allowing their kid to buy my kid things on their account at age 15
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amother
Phlox
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:17 pm
| amother OP wrote: | My son is 15.
He is going on my account to buy a mp4 for this boy. |
Why can't he buy it himself. Or the bigger question is why cant it be delivered to his house? Why is it coming to your home and your son is delivering it.
The conclusion that comes to mind is that he doesn't want his parents to know. I would definitely not let my son get involved in that.
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amother
Peru
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:20 pm
| amother Jasmine wrote: | Was wondering this as well. Like who pays for his device, internet, and prime membership?
I wouldn’t necessarily force him to do anything (depending on his age regardless how could you?) but maybe have a discussion about being a fair and honest person in business and In friendship. It may be annoying but it’s not that big of a deal to order something, it takes seconds. Assuming your son isn’t driving across town in heavy traffic to drop it off at the friend. It’s practically stealing IMHO to charge a fee just for the fact that he knows the friend has no other option and is kind of forced to comply. And almost double the items cost!
There are business men who are honest but hustlers and make a good living not by scamming or treating people unfairly. Then there’s those who don’t care about others at all as long as their pockets get lined. Talk to your son and find out which he wants to be. Because the only part troubling about this whole exchange is that your son thinks it’s okay to take advantage of someone (a friend no less) like that, and that’s a bad habit that needs to be stopped | I disagree with you. The extortion is bad, but that is NOT the main concern here. The main concern is buying something behind the friend's parents' back. Trust me, op, a yeshiva/school would not view this lightly AT ALL.
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Hashem_Yaazor
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:24 pm
I agree.
This is not ok. Service charge, no service charge... The second boy obviously knew he wasn't supposed to get this device.
(Contrast with my daughter's friend who asked us to buy on my prime account something...a birthday present for her mother!)
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amother
Sage
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:25 pm
| amother OP wrote: | My son is 15.
He is going on my account to buy a mp4 for this boy. |
That could be totally innocent or it could be used for p***. Even if he just wants to watch movies, his parents don't let, this is not what you want to be involved in.
When I heard that the boy was willing to pay $35 delivery charge, I was wondering what was up. This explains it.
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asmileaday
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:27 pm
As a mother of a 15 year old boy, your son's service fee isn't the issue here.
Mp4s have video capabilities.
There is a reason this boy is using your son to buy it for him.
If I'd be you I'd call the boy's mother to get permission first and make sure she's aware.
My son's friend bought him a kosher mp3 because he has easier access to get it. It was with my full knowledge and permission.
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vintagebknyc
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Mon, Jul 08 2024, 10:30 pm
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