Is this a normal request of a teenage counselor?

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 6:19 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm glad that I asked, it seems like this really is too much to ask from these girls. I'm not sure what I'm going to do...we don't do flushable wipes in our house because our plumber said they'll clog up the toilet, but I guess I could ask the person whose house it is if she minds?

I'm still kind of wondering why this is a high expectation but changing diapers isn't? Unless it's like I said, that the girls who do younger kids (again, it's normal for 2 and 3 year old camps to be run by teens in my community) are the ones who aren't turned off by that sort of thing, and the girls who do older kids are specifically choosing an age where kids aren't wearing diapers anymore because they find it gross?

Give any wipes and ask the counselors to give a bathroom garbage tour daughter can use and if any other girl is also wiping with wipes to throw out.
Never flush wipes even “flushable”

amother

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:25 pm

amother Lightpink wrote:

I didn’t read every reply but when I was that age and working in a camp with 4 years - yes, we had to wipe them.
One kid told me “my mommy said”.

I didn’t love but I DO think it’s part of the job.

Interesting. You seem to be the outlier, for what that's worth...

amother

Bellflower

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:26 pm

Not an appropriate ask.

My son was in a preschool public school, and in Kindergarten they are not allowed to help the kids clean themselves. The kids must manage on their own.

And my daughter worked in a few backyard day camps and NEVER wiped kids. Ages 3 and up handled their own or the main morah was called to help. And for the younger kids in diapers, she only changed wet diapers.

The girl hemmed and hawed because its not what is normal to ask and you kept pressing her and weren't getting it, and she had a hard time saying an outright no to a parent. You should apologize.

amother

Almond

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 8:39 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

Yes. I worked in a public school and I remember one time there was a kid with certain issues and the only ones who helped clean were either the nurse or the assistant principal who had been trained with how to follow appropriate procedures (if the nurse wasn't available). And when the assistant principal did so, she called another teacher to stand outside the stall as a witness while she narrated every step of what she was going to do. It’s a big deal to ask of a teenager, even certified public school teachers are not expected or even allowed to do this.

amother

Narcissus

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 9:54 pm

Send a box of plastic bags and a package of wipes, and tell her to ask the counselor for some any time she needs to poop.
I’m very surprised at this thread because none of my kids were good at wiping yet at 4. Closer to 5 is when they started getting everything. But most of them didn’t poop at school, so I guess that’s why I wasn’t aware of this issue.

amother

White

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 10:27 pm

My 5.5 year old unfortunately isn’t the best wiper. She often comes home with dirty underwear. She has been taught many many times but just runs out of the bathroom at home, we have to say go back and wipe and wash your hands. once they’re officially potty trained - which is normally 3 year old groups - they usually don’t get help wiping. It may not be logical (I think many 3 year olds need help), but I don’t think these girls sign up with the expectation of wiping tushies. It’s gross. It’s gross for me to wipe my own precious child, but I signed up by having a kid lol

amother

Magnolia

Thu, Jun 27 2024, 10:39 pm

amother Ginger wrote:

It is a lot to expect and frankly, there should be two adults in the room if a child's privates are exposed. For everyone's safety. And it definitely doesn't sound like they have enough counselors for that.

This.
I work in the early childhood of a large, well respected and well run school. The director has told us many times that teachers may not wipe the children. We can guide and cheer them on but we cannot do it for them. If a child does need assistance for some reason there has to be another adult there. It’s not that it’s too much to ask a teen, it’s just not done today. Of course there are those Bubby type of teachers who have been teaching forever who do wipe children to keep things moving but it’s not encouraged.

amother

Blushpink

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 10:35 am

amother Ginger wrote:

this is so true and also if a counselor has to leave the group to go help her (and it can take a few minutes) it messes up the schedule, and they need all the counselors to be present to facilitate the activities. When there is a playgroup for small children who need help with the bathroom they make sure to have extra staff specifically for this reason- so that a counselor can go leave the group spend a few minutes with just one camper who needs help. They will often schedule bathroom times, and then one counselor (or 2 depending on logistics) is put in charge of making sure each child goes to the bathroom and helps if they need (and yes the door needs to be open with other people nearby who can see whats going on, or if have to go to a diff room than need 2 counselors.

If the camp you are sending to is for children who are past that stage, then they simply don't have enough staff to let a counselor leave the group for 5 minutes (or more) help her with the bathroom, because they need that counselor present to help with running the group.

I have worked in a few schools and daycamps for children ages 2, 3 and 4 and so I can see it from the counselors point of view.
Parents don't always know which requests are easy to accommodate, and which requests will interfere with the functioning of the camp. Its good you are asking about this to get a better understanding. Hatzlacha with finding a good solution for your daughter and I hope she has a great summer:)

amother

Lightblue

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 10:55 am

Not for nothing, NYC Youth Corps workers at camps are not allowed by contract with the partner camps to wipe children. I was the adult supervising counselor for 5 summers. The camp's MO was to make the youngest kids do bathroom and diapers and when I learned this policy, I risked my job and demanded that I be the solitary diaper/wiper. Crazy that I had to fight like that.

amother

Blushpink

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 11:42 am

amother Aubergine wrote:

Um
Would you all respond the same for a child that just turned 3??

I was totally expecting her to be wiped in day camp just as she was in school…

for a child who just turned 3, who needs help with the bathroom, usually will go to a daycamp for children for young 3's which is prepared to accommodate helping kids with the bathroom.
a daycamp for 4 year olds won't be, and in school 4 year olds are expected to be able to do it independently. There are sometimes some who still need help, and arrangements need to be made, but its not the standard expectation for the whole class.

amother

Lightgreen

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 12:38 pm

I must be very old fashioned. Kids do not wipe properly before age 5. Some of them can't even reach and many of them have no idea where to wipe.
If my kid came home dirty with a rash I'd be fuming mad.
Don't make a mountain out of a molehill, you're there to take care of the child. Take a minute to wipe him/her and move on with the day.

watergirl

Fri, Jun 28 2024, 12:43 pm

amother Lightgreen wrote:

If your child can not wipe properly, it is the parent's job to ask the camp before you enroll your child what their wiping policy is and then decide accordingly where you will send your child. You can't assume a teenage girl running a camp will do this on her own. You might need to pay for a licensed camp with adults around. If you send to a place run by teens, expect them to behave like a teen would. ASK FIRST.