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Forum
-> Household Management
-> Finances
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Elfrida
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 9:57 am
amother Papayawhip wrote: | My inlaws are wealthy but extremely frugal (actually its my fil and its like an illness)
They bought a set of couches 30 years ago, and left the plastic on for years, when that got ruined they covered it with sheets so the "couches shouldn't get ruined" I never saw them uncovered and don't even know what they look like. (Sheets are old stained and faded lol)
They only open the oven once a week to save electricity
The heat is set so low they wear sweaters constantly
There's no plastic anything ever!
No cleaning lady ever!
(However they bought all their married children houses bc that my fil thinks is important) it's just a mentality he grew up with and is extremely stubborn to change |
Low background heat, no plastic, no cleaning lady is how I grew up. Never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with it. I still don't. My house is run in a very similar manner.
Is there any link between this (apparently) extreme frugality and the ability to buy houses for all their children? Spending money on what's important?
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amother
Mimosa
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:24 am
Limiting showers to every other day.
Even with teens.
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amother
Crystal
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:39 am
I sometimes think I am too frugal as we do a lot of the things mentioned already, but I am trying to find a healthy balance. I haven't seen anyone mention the following yet - that they base their menus on what is on sale at the grocery store.
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Aurora
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:39 am
amother Crystal wrote: | I sometimes think I am too frugal as we do a lot of the things mentioned already, but I am trying to find a healthy balance. I haven't seen anyone mention the following yet - that they base their menus on what is on sale at the grocery store. |
I think a lot of the things are actually common sense. Doubly so for working around sales.
We usually only buy fleishiks for Shabbat/Yom Tov.
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amother
NeonOrange
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:49 am
Owner of well known m/billion dollar company giving in underwear to the tailor to alter.
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amother
Daphne
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:49 am
This thread is wow. I think of myself as frugal, but based on these responses, I'm positively a spendthrift.
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chestnut
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:51 am
amother Crystal wrote: | I sometimes think I am too frugal as we do a lot of the things mentioned already, but I am trying to find a healthy balance. I haven't seen anyone mention the following yet - that they base their menus on what is on sale at the grocery store. |
Of course
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 10:55 am
amother Crystal wrote: | I sometimes think I am too frugal as we do a lot of the things mentioned already, but I am trying to find a healthy balance. I haven't seen anyone mention the following yet - that they base their menus on what is on sale at the grocery store. |
That's not frugal. It's common sense.
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 11:16 am
Elfrida wrote: | Low background heat, no plastic, no cleaning lady is how I grew up. Never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with it. I still don't. My house is run in a very similar manner.
Is there any link between this (apparently) extreme frugality and the ability to buy houses for all their children? Spending money on what's important? |
Money doesn't buy love.
People who take this to the extreme are not pleasant to be around.
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 11:38 am
My father lives an extremely frugal life to the extreme.
He lives in a huge house, (on his own as my mother isnt alive anymore)
Sits with the lights off and the heating off, and only when extremely necessary will switch it on.
Doesnt use the oven to cook, doesnt use hot water for washing dishes, only when strictly necessary he will boil the kettle and use that (in his mind).
Doesnt use the washing machine too often.
Never throws things out as it could be useful to him (he is not a classic hoarder but does keep certain items).
Eats the leftovers from Shabbos for a few days after shabbos so as not to waste.
Its a terrible mindset and is detrimental to everyone around him.
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Trademark
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 11:45 am
Elfrida wrote: | Low background heat, no plastic, no cleaning lady is how I grew up. Never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with it. I still don't. My house is run in a very similar manner.
Is there any link between this (apparently) extreme frugality and the ability to buy houses for all their children? Spending money on what's important? |
Kamtzanus is not a good middah.
Also this extreme saving (mostly in regards to the heating) sounds like a lack of bitachon that Hashem will provide.
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Elfrida
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 11:57 am
Trademark wrote: | Kamtzanus is not a good middah.
Also this extreme saving (mostly in regards to the heating) sounds like a lack of bitachon that Hashem will provide. |
It was more based on large rooms with high ceilings that were very hard to heat.
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 12:00 pm
The heating issue has been discussed ad nauseum on this site. Do you live in a 100+year old house which is not weather tight? Does the heat blasting all day exacerbate dry skin which necessitates the use of humidifiers, the care of which is a a dreaded chore? Do you have babies or toddlers?
With babies and toddlers I did the higher heat/dry skin/eczema/humidifiers. Adults are perfectly able to wear sweaters in the winter in the northeast. And sweatpants under heavy winter quilts when asleep.
Yes it is nice not to spend $500/month on heat. With inflation that would probably be $800 for the cold months. But it is not the only reason to have a cooler house in the winter.
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 12:03 pm
Not all examples of what people think of as extreme frugality is about saving money.
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Trademark
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 12:03 pm
Elfrida wrote: | It was more based on large rooms with high ceilings that were very hard to heat. |
Got it.
I don't think most actions on here are extremely frugal in and of itself, depends on circumstances.
For example: using shopping bags for garbage bags. Do you find it more convenient to have a small bag and like to keep your kitchen clean by constantly taking out small bags instead of having a big can fill up? I don't see a problem.
Do you use it because you can't bring yourself to spend a few dollars on garbage bags (if money is not the issue) and that's why you'll inconvenience yourself and everyone in the house, and you won't let them buy garbage bags because it's a waste of shopping bags? I see that as very unhealthy and not a good middah.
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 12:09 pm
amother Periwinkle wrote: | My father lives an extremely frugal life to the extreme.
He lives in a huge house, (on his own as my mother isnt alive anymore)
Sits with the lights off and the heating off, and only when extremely necessary will switch it on.
Doesnt use the oven to cook, doesnt use hot water for washing dishes, only when strictly necessary he will boil the kettle and use that (in his mind).
Doesnt use the washing machine too often.
Never throws things out as it could be useful to him (he is not a classic hoarder but does keep certain items).
Eats the leftovers from Shabbos for a few days after shabbos so as not to waste.
Its a terrible mindset and is detrimental to everyone around him. |
Don't lots of people do this? Why waste Shabbos food?
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bsy
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 12:13 pm
amother NeonOrange wrote: | Owner of well known m/billion dollar company giving in underwear to the tailor to alter. |
Maybe their underwear is very expensive and fixing it is a few dollars 😂
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amother
Cornsilk
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 12:14 pm
amother NeonOrange wrote: | Owner of well known m/billion dollar company giving in underwear to the tailor to alter. |
I actually think it's a sign of wealth, I would just wear it as is but they can afford to make it fit perfectly.
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 12:33 pm
amother Purple wrote: | The heating issue has been discussed ad nauseum on this site. Do you live in a 100+year old house which is not weather tight? Does the heat blasting all day exacerbate dry skin which necessitates the use of humidifiers, the care of which is a a dreaded chore? Do you have babies or toddlers?
With babies and toddlers I did the higher heat/dry skin/eczema/humidifiers. Adults are perfectly able to wear sweaters in the winter in the northeast. And sweatpants under heavy winter quilts when asleep.
Yes it is nice not to spend $500/month on heat. With inflation that would probably be $800 for the cold months. But it is not the only reason to have a cooler house in the winter. |
Getting into a fight over raising the heat when your kids come with a newborn baby is not normal. My in-laws keep their house at 63 during the day and below 60 at night. Try nursing in the middle of the night when it's so cold.
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amother
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Tue, Jun 25 2024, 1:10 pm
amother Poinsettia wrote: | Getting into a fight over raising the heat when your kids come with a newborn baby is not normal. My in-laws keep their house at 63 during the day and below 60 at night. Try nursing in the middle of the night when it's so cold. |
You are quoting me when I specifically was talking about adults. Not toddlers, not newborns.
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