How do you shop for teen?

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 8:21 pm

How do you shop for and with your teenager if she says no to everything in the store and insists on going to more stores? Repeat at the next store and the next. And the next and the next. I'm exhausted. Then she blames me for not buying her clothing. How many hours of shopping am I expected to fulfill?

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 8:41 pm

Sometimes she does shop by herself or with friends. She still doesn't find anything. Everything is ugly or too big or weird. We try online, I end up with a pile of returns to take care of. I just ordered $150 of clothing from udel that she chose, when it came she decided it's not good. (I can't return it, sale items. What do I do with it?) I don't have extra money to waste or all these hours for shopping.
From before pesach she has been looking for a black skirt. We finally found one today. It took 3 months to find one black skirt.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 8:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

Keep sending her herself or with other people. (If you want you can let her know that you can go with her to x amount of stores/go shopping for x amount of hours with her if she wants.) If she doesn't find anything when she goes she can decide to buy something that isn't perfect or to spend more time looking, it's not your issue.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 9:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm so tempted to except she's going to overnight camp soon and needs to not go empty-handed.

How does everyone else get their girls clothing?

Again, why is this your issue? She's old enough to understand how much she has and how much she needs. She has a few options and it's up to her. Doesn't need to be something you take upon yourself.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 10:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

I'm so tempted to except she's going to overnight camp soon and needs to not go empty-handed.

How does everyone else get their girls clothing?

I live somewhere without local options so I opened up a few websites with frum clothing and Amazon for my girls to browse through and let me know what they are interested in. I do have to pay return shipping to some frum sites but that's part of the cost of living out of town/not spending so much time myself. I get so frustrated when nothing really works. There's one local place I'll send my girls alone too usually because most times they find nothing. I brought 3 teenage girls right after they got new stock and my girls didn't agree to anything! I can't devote my energy to it so I have them whittle it down before bringing me into the picture.

erm

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 10:37 pm

If she tells you that she likes something before you buy it and then changes her mind after you bought it and you can’t return it, make her pay for it. It is the only way to make her understand the value of something.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 10:38 pm

amother Amber wrote:

Get her a couple if t-shirts and slinky skirts online and she won't go empty handed. Seems like you put too much into this already.

Thanks! I have tshirts, the one thing I found on Amazon. Skirts she refuses to wear an inch past her knee, and only black. I found one single skirt that she agrees to wear.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 10:42 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

Yes basically what I've been doing. But even when she chooses, she decides she doesn't like it in the end. I returned no less than 13 black skirts to Amazon the weeks before pesach.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 10:45 pm

erm wrote:

I'm considering this next.
So far I told her that we will no longer do endless shopping. If she doesn't wear what there is, she will have nothing. And whatever needs to be returned, it's her job to return it, not mine anymore.

She will go to camp with one skirt.

happy7

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 10:54 pm

Ask her what it is that she wants.
She has an image.
it might exist. it might not.
but, she has to describe to you exactly what it is that she is looking for.
after she can articulate clearly what it is, then you can help her.
Chances are she is looking for what her friends have.
it might be more than you want to spend.
however, if she has an image of what it is, and you aren’t buying what she is looking for, then it won’t be the right thing.
and, get it in writing.
for example. if she wants brand name birkenstocks or tevas, go for the brand name. If not, she will keep returning.
and if it’s beyond the budget, then give her a budget. and she will have to fit in her wants within the budget or cover the difference.

Hashem_Yaazor

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 11:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

My oldest daughter liked one skirt as well. So I ordered a second of that and that's what she has. One to wear and one to wash.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 11:16 pm

happy7 wrote:

If it existed I would have found it, trust me.

She needs sneakers. She wants a plain white platform sneakers. Sounds easy enough. The entire Amazon and Zappos has nothing that she likes. I have already returned 4 pairs. I haven't yet had a chance to take her to a store, I don't exactly have more hours to kill.

amother

Wed, Jun 26 2024, 11:19 pm

Hashem_Yaazor wrote:

My oldest daughter liked one skirt as well. So I ordered a second of that and that's what she has. One to wear and one to wash.

You wash every other day? If she wasn't going away for a month with laundry every 10 days, I'd be okay with two skirts.