S/o kollel ppl should live simply

amother

Bellflower

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:00 pm

amother NeonOrange wrote:

imo its jealousy plain and simple.

when you see peole getting things that you dont have (and it seems to you that you work triple as hard for whatever it is..)

we're all human and we all struggle with human feelings. but at least acknowledge that this comes from not such nice places inside of you.
it reflects worse on you than on the kollel family.

Nope, it's not jealousy.
When people are uncomfortable with a question, or they can't come up with a smart answer for a question, they just say that it's jealousy.
This isn't about being jealous.

amother

NeonOrange

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:05 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

Nope, it's not jealousy.
When people are uncomfortable with a question, or they can't come up with a smart answer for a question, they just say that it's jealousy.
This isn't about being jealous.

I am not saying a kollel person doesnt have to make a cheshbon hanefesh and be honest about their lifestyle
im saying everyone else should also realize that theyre not innocently wanting the kollel people to live a life of less... its coming from a bad place.

also lets say someone is learning and living a very gashmiyusdik life... so what??? humans can be surprisingly capable of a lot bigger contradictions...
the fact that it bothers someone so much that we hear this whining ALL the time on imamother shows it runs a little deeper that just wishing for a HOLY ideal of torah and simplicity

amother

Snapdragon

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:05 pm

amother Banana wrote:

So if a man has no control over his wife's spending, should he leave Kollel?

No, but they are apparently not on the same page. He may be learning for the right reasons, but what is the wife doing it for.?

It also begs the question, if the money would not be available, would the wife still be supportive of his learning lifestyle?

Iymnok

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:11 pm

amother OP wrote:

Big yeshivos like the mir in EY definitely do not give stipends… I’ve never gotten a discount or any other benefit.

The Mir definitely gives stipends and they facilitate benefits for talmidim.

amother

Bellflower

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:13 pm

amother OP wrote:

A lot of kollel wives take care of the finances and the husbands have no idea where the kids clothing is from

Where does the husband think the money comes from? Especially if wife doesn't work or works very part time?

amother

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:18 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

Where does the husband think the money comes from? Especially if wife doesn't work or works very part time?

Who said she doesn’t work or works very part time? I work 9-1 and then again from 8-1130. While I’m with my kids from 130-730 and making dinner and laundry and etc etc etc.

amother

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:20 pm

Iymnok wrote:

The Mir definitely gives stipends and they facilitate benefits for talmidim.

This is the first I’m hearing about this. Could be it’s specific to certain chaburas as the rosh chabura is spear heading these benefits. I have not seen one benefit from the Mir

amother

NeonOrange

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:21 pm

amother Bellflower wrote:

Where does the husband think the money comes from? Especially if wife doesn't work or works very part time?

okkk now were jumping from one accusation to the next.

no said anything about wives not working.. we were talking about kollel and luxury. Actually most kollel wives I know work VERY hard. and someone of them make a lot of money..

also.. there are some men who would really have no idea where and how their money is coming from (although I would presume that this is not a common situation)

but please this is exactly my point about the bad middos - its like you all NEED kollel people to be miserable and unhappy and poor in order to justify why youre not doing it?
if you are so confident in your lifes choices let people be!

amother

Tealblue

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:28 pm

amother OP wrote:

Big yeshivos like the mir in EY definitely do not give stipends… I’ve never gotten a discount or any other benefit.

Who pays the rent of the yeshiva?
Who pays the rosh chabura salaries?
Who pays for breakfast and lunch?

All these funds are coming from the klal. So yes, you are benefiting from tzedakah money and therefore should not be living above the standard.

amother

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:29 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

Yeshiva doesn’t have rent and rosh chaburas are barely paid! The bochurim do have to pay to attend yeshiva

amother

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:30 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

I heard from the head of a major company in Lakewood that he has multiple kollel wives making over 250k in his company.

Working so hard, aren’t they entitled to a vacation?

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:31 pm

amother NeonOrange wrote:

It's fact of life that kollel most of the times come with a financial sacrifice. One income isn't like two incomes. You have less. Does it makes sense to you?
A few ones learn in kollel and are from multimillionaires families. It exists but it's rare.
The question is: What is his/her focus?
As explained previously you CANNOT focus on both of them at the same time.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:35 pm

amother Navyblue wrote:

I heard from the head of a major company in Lakewood that he has multiple kollel wives making over 250k in his company.

I guess they pay full or almost full tuition.

amother

Junglegreen

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:36 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

With this logic no frum Jewish person should be able to go on vacation.
Do you go to shul? Who pays the rabbi? Who pays for the kiddish? Who pays for the furniture, electricity, baal korah, Chazan…

If your a frum woman who has been to mikva. Many mikvaos fundraiser from the community because they fee doesn’t cover all expenses. A woman who goes to mikvah each month shouldn’t be allowed to have anything luxuries.

Bnei Berak 10

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:44 pm

amother Ebony wrote:

Of course. Why wouldn't they?

Agree
That said with 250k income I just wonder if one lives a jet-set lifestyle. Somehow I doubt it...

amother

Junglegreen

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:44 pm

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Maybe they could. You’re not them. There were tzaddikim in gemara that did business alongside learning (or had passive income) and lived very lavish lifestyles.

amother

Brickred

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:44 pm

amother Snapdragon wrote:

But why in the world is that YOUR cheshbon???