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Forum
-> Relationships
-> Manners & Etiquette
Bnei Berak 10
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 Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:03 pm
| amother Forsythia wrote: | Yep. And it doesn't end when they are kids. I have gotten comments from adults. Why isn't my baby wearing... why doesn't my toddler have... I can give you my hand me downs so your daughter has stylish clothing....
Sorry but what I wish I could say to them:
I think what your kid is wearing is stupid.
I think it is dumb to buy a baby X that costs so much money when he will just spit up, poop and pee on it.
I have priorities with my money and it isn't to appease you.
I like my kid to wear color and not look either like she is going to a funeral or in a sepia photograph.
Bullies are bullies.
I usually respond with a logical response/something they can't argue with and they get caught off guard.
-My kid likes this and I want her to be happy.
-I don't like the style. |
All this speaks volumes of what they are focusing on. And it ain't Torah.
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amother
Nasturtium
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Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:06 pm
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The kollel families on my block all kidnap little kids and use their blood to bake the matzos.
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amother
Peony
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Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:08 pm
You asked for comebacks
I find that sugary sweet works the best with these kinds of bullies, it makes them feel dumb.
Yeah, my dress is from sage. I personally think its really cute - I love your dress, you must have spent soooo much on it
The tone is key - you need to treat bullies like you would if a 5 year old said your so fat. Which basically they are acting like five year olds.
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Aurora
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Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:10 pm
| amother Peony wrote: | You asked for comebacks
I find that sugary sweet works the best with these kinds of bullies, it makes them feel dumb.
Yeah, my dress is from sage. I personally think its really cute - I love your dress, you must have spent soooo much on it
The tone is key - you need to treat bullies like you would if a 5 year old said your so fat. Which basically they are acting like five year olds. |
Exactly. Bully feels that bully has won as long as you react badly - whether you snap back, or go off in tears.
It's why smiling and showing you didn't notice really does work best.
"Thanks for noticing my dress! I can see you put a lot of energy into clothing." 
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Simple1
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Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:31 pm
For those saying that there is no concept for kollel lifestyle to be simple- it says in Pirkei Avos: Kach hi darka shel Torah… to eat bread and water and sleep on the floor… obviously we wouldn’t do that literally nowadays, but the idea is still there. Not to mention that regardless of kollel or not there’s the idea that gashmiyus is not the goal.
That said I’d be against judging individuals as well as not painting everyone with the same brush. Just hold your own and stand strong against the bullies.
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Comptroller
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Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:32 pm
| Chayalle wrote: | Which society?
On this website, I certainly don't see that. |
Could well be that you have blinders on...
And you also display a certain hypersensitivity when kollel families are the topic, just as many other users who feel the need to represent kollel families.
In my view, your "that's none of your business" in your first comment was uncalled for and rude towards OP, so I suppose a lot of the debate evolved from there.
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amother
Burlywood
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Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:45 pm
Kollel kids being bullies? Didn’t we just have a thread on this last week?
No one should be getting bullied and no one should be bullying. The part where you lost me is where you turned this into a kollel issue.
I was a poor kollel kid and I got bullied by non kollel kids. What does that tell you?
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