Tuition Crisis- Mishpacha Magazine feature article

amother

↑ Gold

Today at 7:53 pm

For those saying the rich need to lower their standards, live like the middle class, and pay for the city's tuition bills-- why would they ever work so hard?
They need to get some.benefit to encourage them to work so hard.

It it those who are poor, the kollel, the lower income individuals, those on SNAP, those not making ends meet etc who ALL need to stop giving into the ridiculous things like matching clothes, new outfits "just because it is YT even if they have what to wear", or brand names. Or big simchos.
This is as someone who is poor.

Th3 tzeddakah organizations have got to stop upping the standards for everyone.
The gemachs in my area have super fancy clothes and matching styles, with headbands etc. So now it is "needed". And even those who are too rich for gemachs, tomchei etc (and aren't allowed to go) feel the pressure.
If it was only the 3 rich kids who got, no one would feel obligated.

When I was a kid we were middle of the pack income wise. Only the rich kids got X. The rest of us didn't care we didn't have it. It just wasn't a big deal.
Then I see with my kids. Rich get. the tzeddakah families got it. So then only the few middle group kids didn't have. And it became a big Deal.

↑ Gebentched1

Today at 8:04 pm

amother Gold wrote:

I actually didn't see that written anywhere on here, not even in the snarky/facetious comments (and I'm pretty sure I've read all comments) .

WHAT I DID see (several pages back), was the proposal that rabbanim guide the gevirim to tithe k'halacha (focusing on their own city's needs, and education of the children before other charities - as halacha dictates).

The person who mentioned this SPECIFICALLY said this with reference to multi millionaires and billionaires (the .001 %) NOT the middle class or "everyday millionaires" , AND this was at the heels of another commenter bemoaning the fact that 100 million dollars was recently donated to kollelim overseas while our own communities are suffering financially.

We can all agree or disagree with this idea, but let's not take it out of context and claim that anyone on here said that the rich need to live like Middle class in order to fund our schools.

Btw I agree wholeheartedly with your last paragraph!

amother

↑ Bellflower

Today at 10:01 pm

amother OP wrote:

It true, tuition is a massive line item in the average family’s budget and can seem almost unbearable.

Yet I don’t think people realize the amount of money in many families budgets that goes toward high end community standards. A good number of families in my neighborhood make around 200k to 275k combined income give or take, and many have 6-9 kids and are making their first or second chasunahs. That’s a chasunah every year or two at 70k to 90k. (Much of that is community standards such as chosson kallah gifts and catered shabbos sheva brachos in a hall. )

Bar mitzvah every 2-3 years which in my middle class neighborhood is a shul hall kiddush with women’s party planner 4k, shabbos catered seudah 6-8k and Bo Bayom in hall 6-7k.

Cars are mostly Avalons and SUVs or newish oddesy or sienna 10k yearly lease payments for 2 cars.

Hats are Borsalinos at $350 shoes are Jewish store $80 to $120 dresses for shabbos yom tov are $150 to $220 each and weekday is Jewish store too. Coats are $250 and up. Backpacks brand name. Add it up for parents and kids and the total is easily in the 15k to 25k in extra spending due to community clothing standards.

Sleepaway camp is standard, close to 15k for 5 kids. Take out and restaurant suppers are pretty prevalent. Many in the neighborhood are beginning to expand their 3k square foot homes via HELOC to create nice accommodations for the young marrieds etc adding 1k to 2k monthly to their mortgage payments. That is just a partial list.

Add up the above and you will see that it is not an exaggeration to say that out of the 100k to 150k in expenses listed above, there can easily be 40k to 70k EXTRA PER YEAR in expenses that many families who can’t make full tuition spend that are simply due to community standards.

Others get much of the above from chasunah tzedakas, shul funds, camp funds etc. but it’s the same community resources.

Yes there are a minority of families who are truly trying to live barebones (until they have to make a chasunah and deal with another side) and truly are maxed out, but if the families above would channel 50k to 70k per year toward their children’s schools instead of community pressure items it would go a long way towards balancing the school budget so the frugal folks could be helped as well.

The gap might even be small enough to motivate more wealthy individuals to step forward and balance the schools budget.

Solving the community lifestyle problem has to be part of the solution.

So this was one of the main points of the article, said over and over again by multiple people.

It's not on the gevirim to pay for your child's tuition, the onus should be on the parents. The question on how to get the parents to do so was addressed many times by different people in this article.

How low can we push the bar down? How deep can we reach into our pockets to pay for our children's chinuch?

I'm going to add something here that's been bothering me for a long time (this is not in the article). If the mechanchim and mechanchos keep pushing us to buy things for our kids "so that they can fit in" we create a situation that parents are constantly buying more and more for their children. This race to fit in is IMO, the fuel that's pushing the bar higher and higher.

I think that they are basically shooting themselves in the foot by saying this. During times of overflowing prosperity there was enough for them to get paid well even if the parents weren't paying their fair share. Those times are over. Do they realize that it is they themselves who will be paying the price of their advice?