S/O Yeshivish humor

amother

Gardenia ↓

Yesterday at 2:54 am

ddmom wrote:

Really not funny! Sorry

Yes, funny.

amother

↑ Broom

Yesterday at 3:01 am

amother Gardenia wrote:

Yes, funny.

Um, are you okay?

amother

↑ Gardenia

Yesterday at 3:14 am

ROTFL tears streaming 🤣😂
Going to follow this thread to enjoy some more!

A Brisker bochur is a good shidduch for a BJJ girl. He knows how to cook and she knows how to learn.

esuss

Yesterday at 3:28 am

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

Unfortunately this one is true. A school that doesn't accept someone is doing exactly that. Pure sinas chinam

It is not a school. Brisk is a yeshiva for post high school only usually 21 and older. Don't have to accept everyone.

amother

Lightgray ↓

Yesterday at 11:29 am

I was told this by a bochur who said he was there. (If you take offense to this story - you don't get it)

Someone told a certain rosh yeshiva that Rav Tzvi told the boys in his yeshiva that there is a special place in gehenim for people who learn Chumash-Rashi on Fridays.

The rosh yeshiva answered- well that sounds like a place where I would want to be! There are probably lots of talmidei chachamim there, Rashi is probably there! And best of all, there are no Rav Tzvi guys!

amother

↑ Lightgray

Yesterday at 11:32 am

Another classic Brisk story -
Brisk was full for the zman and a bochur still hoping to get in, knocked on the door to Rav AY's house.
His wife answered and the boy said, I want to talk to the Rosh yeshiva about going to Brisk.
The wife said, there is no more room.
The boy replied (in yiddish) - I thought the Rosh yeshiva had a beard!
The wife slammed the door on him and it promptly was opened by Rav AY two minutes later and he accepted the boy!

amother

↑ Bubblegum

Yesterday at 12:53 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

You have to be old Lakewood to appreciate this one:

What’s the definition of a yeshivish car?

Everything makes noise except the horn and the radio.

Or like they say in Yiddish
אלעס פייפט חוץ די פייפער

amother

↑ Cyan

Yesterday at 12:56 pm

amother Whitesmoke wrote:

Unfortunately this one is true. A school that doesn't accept someone is doing exactly that. Pure sinas chinam

Everyone has to be accepted to a program meant for boys 3 years post high school?

amother

Catmint

Yesterday at 12:56 pm

amother Lightgray wrote:

Can you explain this one?

↑ penguin

Yesterday at 1:09 pm

amother Catmint wrote:

Can you explain this one?

It seems that Rav AY appreciates a sharp vort (like the Bar Kamtza one above). So the Rebbetzin repeated what the bochur said, & he appreciated the joke.

(Because the Rebbetzin tried to tell him there's no room, but if she has no beard, obviously she's not the Rosh Yeshiva)

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 9:09 pm

A bachur found out he wasn't Jewish and was in the process of completing his geirus. A friend was curious about how it worked.

Friend: You're not allowed to keep Shabbos until you're megayer, right?
Bachur: Right. That's why I wear a watch on Shabbos now.
Friend: But there's an eruv in this neighborhood.
Bachur: Yeah, but I don't hold of it.