What age should kids “fend for themselves”

amother

OP ↓

Yesterday at 4:45 pm

I’m sure it depends on the kid/personality/gender etc, but at what age should kids be able to get themselves a drink and similar things like that? My 7 year old is constantly asking me do things like this and as much as I want to help her as her mother, if it’s not good for her I will make her get her own drink. Yes it’s annoying because she can’t reach without a chair but frankly it’s annoying and I feel like she should be old enough to take care of it on her own. Is my instinct right or am I off? (It’s my oldest.)

amother

DarkRed

Yesterday at 4:47 pm

I tell my 3 year old to get her own water… any other drinks I still provide at 5, and if they’re mid meal I bring them a drink because they tend to stop eating if they get up mid meal

amother

Brass

Yesterday at 4:48 pm

I do favors for my kids and they do favors for me. "Can you go get me a tissue?" "Can you get me a drink?" I ask them sometimes and they ask me sometimes.

I don't expect them to always get me a drink, and if they tell me they're thirsty, I usually look at them blankly and say "so get a drink then".

amother

Natural ↓

Yesterday at 4:49 pm

I start them really young. Once they walk I'll randomly say can you pass that, or go get your blanky etc.. it's good for them to see they can do things and help themselves. 7 is way too old to be asking for things like drinks. I'd go through the steps once and say come let's do it together and guide and then say see now you can do it and from now on you just go get it yourself.

amother

↑ Natural

Yesterday at 4:51 pm

To add to that, I make it all accessible. I switched my kitchen around and put the stuff the kids take for themselves on bottom shelves and drawers.

amother

Blushpink

Yesterday at 4:51 pm

I keep things in reach of kids so they don't have to ask so much. I start with little things as soon as they can understand. A 7yo should be able to get a drink.

amother

Rose

Yesterday at 4:57 pm

My three year old gets himself water from the fridge machine.

amother

↑ OP

Yesterday at 5:10 pm

Thank you everyone. It really didn’t feel
normal to me. I have spoken to her about just getting it herself especially if I am clearly busy and I will feel more confident to insist now that I hear it is really not age appropriate.

Hashem_Yaazor

Yesterday at 5:18 pm

I feel it's very important to instill independence at the appropriate level from very young ages. It gives them a world of confidence. My 4.5 yo gets herself water and ice, and honestly my 2.5 yo does to but I don't necessarily recommend it.

amother

Lightgray

Yesterday at 5:19 pm

My little ones have their own water bottles in the fridge for whenever they're thirsty.

amother

Crimson

Yesterday at 5:21 pm

amother OP wrote:

If she can't reach it & want her to take care of it herself, you need to make it accessible to her. She shouldn't have to drag a chair whenever she wants a drink.
(I don't allow chair dragging & keep water within reach of the young kids so they can help themselves.)

amother

Almond

Yesterday at 5:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

It’s personality . My daughter asks me for things all day . Like can you get me a cucumber , I’m like no your almost 9 , go to the fridge and get one.

amother

Ultramarine ↓

Yesterday at 5:25 pm

amother OP wrote:

I disagree with those posters. If she has to climb up on a chair to get herself a drink then she does need help. You haven’t set her up for success.

amother

↑ Ultramarine

Yesterday at 5:26 pm

amother OP wrote:

Seven isn’t a baby but it’s still a little girl.

amother

Apricot

Yesterday at 5:34 pm

Just throwing out there you want her to be proud she's old enough to get it herself, not feel like you're busy with the younger kids so she has to fend for herself.
So I would tell her in a calm moment you know what I think you're old enough to do xyz yourself.the other kids are to little but I bet you can. Let me show you how .

giftedmom

Yesterday at 5:39 pm

Some kids will keep asking until you tell them to get it themselves but when you’re not around they’re perfectly capable. The same kids that made themselves scrambled eggs today because they didn’t like supper still ask me for drinks sometimes.