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Forum
-> Parenting our children
-> Our Challenging Children (gifted, ADHD, sensitive, defiant)
amother
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 Yesterday at 9:54 am
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How do you deal with it? It's heartbreaking to watch on a social level and so frustrating on a parenting level. Any insight appreciated.
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amother
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Today at 9:02 am
Yup. Husband and child with ADHD have it.
No advice because I am still trying to figure it out, but lots of love and a building them up!
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amother
Charcoal
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Today at 9:47 am
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Would you be able to give an example? Trying to figure out if someone has this, it would explain a lot.
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amother
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Today at 6:36 pm
I have a child with it.
But even more intensely, a husband who has it.
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amother
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Today at 7:27 pm
| amother Myrtle wrote: | Yup. Husband and child with ADHD have it.
No advice because I am still trying to figure it out, but lots of love and a building them up! | So hard to build them up because the slightest hint of impatience or annoyance can send them spiraling and undo anything positive you've ever said.
Also even if they do manage to feel safe at home, they can't navigate the normal rough of tumble of kid relationships and are convinced everyone hates them and nobody is interested in them.
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amother
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Today at 7:30 pm
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People who are super super sensitive to hints of rejection, or perceived rejection. They can't handle any sort of feedback or criticism, they can react with outbursts or aggression, or internalized self loathing.
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amother
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Today at 7:33 pm
| amother OP wrote: | So hard to build them up because the slightest hint of impatience or annoyance can send them spiraling and undo anything positive you've ever said.
Also even if they do manage to feel safe at home, they can't navigate the normal rough of tumble of kid relationships and are convinced everyone hates them and nobody is interested in them. |
Have you tried therapy?
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amother
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Today at 7:34 pm
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No I'm afraid they'll feel criticized 😔
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amother
Emerald
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Today at 7:37 pm
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Huh. Never heard this term. My dh has this. It's rotten.
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amother
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Today at 7:47 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | No I'm afraid they'll feel criticized 😔 |
Tell them it will help the cope with rejection. Not that there is something wrong with them.
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amother
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Today at 7:49 pm
| amother Myrtle wrote: | | Tell them it will help the cope with rejection. Not that there is something wrong with them. | They can't hear that they're not coping with something. There's nothing wrong with them, everyone just really hates them.
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amother
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Today at 7:51 pm
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It’s worth letting them get upset to hear they need help. It will take time to help them process it and understand they must get this help. You can’t feel this scared of it, they need help, you need to help them even if they will act like it’s the worst thing on this planet. If you don’t get them help they will just suffer the rest of their lives.
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amother
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Today at 7:56 pm
| amother Begonia wrote: | | It’s worth letting them get upset to hear they need help. It will take time to help them process it and understand they must get this help. You can’t feel this scared of it, they need help, you need to help them even if they will act like it’s the worst thing on this planet. If you don’t get them help they will just suffer the rest of their lives. | Are you speaking from experience? My understanding is that such people aren't receptive to therapy either because they feel rejected there as well.
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amother
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Today at 8:05 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | They can't hear that they're not coping with something. There's nothing wrong with them, everyone just really hates them. |
You can't tip toe around them being afraid they will be hurt. They will never grow that way and continue thinking they are perfect.
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amother
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Today at 8:09 pm
| amother Myrtle wrote: | | You can't tip toe around them being afraid they will be hurt. They will never grow that way and continue thinking they are perfect. | Do you have a child that is like this?
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amother
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Today at 8:10 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Do you have a child that is like this? |
As I stated before I have both a child and husband that have it.
In order to help them grow and learn you can't tip toe.
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amother
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Today at 8:11 pm
| amother OP wrote: | | Are you speaking from experience? My understanding is that such people aren't receptive to therapy either because they feel rejected there as well. |
Yes my husband is like this. It took so much work to get him to see that help is the answer. And he is so much happier today. He has an excellent therapist that knows how to make him feel safe while also working on his issues.
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