Kicking someone out of your seat

amother

↑ Dimgray

Today at 8:14 am

Ruchel wrote:

The pregnant woman is one of the exceptions... If there was NOWHERE ELSE to sit I might let her there. But see. I'd also be very very angry to pay hundreds?? And stand. I would probably consider this money tzedaka though so ultimately someone would get less...

We asked our Rav and our seats cannot be paid with Maaser money, so I’d be very upset to pay close to $400 for a seat and not be able to use it. (It’s I think $250 for my husband and $120 for a seat in the women’s section)

Amelia Bedelia

Today at 8:18 am

amother Clematis wrote:

A few years ago, I approached the woman who was in my seat. She refused to move, saying that someone else was in her seat. So I listened to shofar and left and went home. Next year I made my husband go to shul early and make sure to put stuff on our seat. I was so uncomfortable, never gonna ask anyone to move again.

What a chutzpah! How is it your problem that someone is in HER seat?

watergirl

Today at 8:29 am

Wires get crossed in threads like this because as I've learned from this site, different communities have different concepts of what it means to buy a seat for RH and YK.

There are apparently some shuls out there in which one may purchase a seat for the entire year; that seat will have the owner's name on a plaque or whatever, and it's their seat all year. Even if they live in Boca and buy a seat in Flatbush, it's their seat. And people get frustrated, as I've learned on this site, when the owner lives in Boca but purchased a prime seat, whatever that means, and never goes to the Flatbush shul so the seat is sitting empty most of the time.

Then, there are RH and YK seats. My entire life, even before I was frum, one had to purchase seats. Sometimes a shul membership came with two seats, sometimes not. But you'd have to pay whatever price for the seat and then there is a seating chart showing where you sit for those days only.

I've been in shuls where there are extra free seats, and in shuls where no seat = standing.

BH my shul now has a mix of seats spread throughout the entire shul and many in the back of empty seats, and a designated man and women who are marked clearly on the seating chart, who is like a "gabbai" of seats, so if you can't tell which are the open seats by looking at the chart or if you need help, they will help you find a seat.

Every shul I've ever been at is also amazing at working with you, so if it's assigned seating only, no one is turned away, you just have to call the shul office and tell them what you can afford. I've paid $1 before.

But these threads is one of the major areas of the site where people who don't know what person A is referring to, offers input that is not aligned with what person B is talking about.

↑ Ruchel

Today at 8:31 am

amother Dimgray wrote:

argh. Yes, I'd tell the person to leave and tell her why.
It's a huge problems if all seats are like this. It's maybe ten percents of seats in my shul?

↑ Elfrida

Today at 8:35 am

amother Plum wrote:

But what a waste of that seat (especially since we generally stand at the end of Neilah). It would be far better to say that one may sit in another's seat as long as they get up when asked.

I think that sitting or standing isn't so much the issue. It's still a reserved place, and she knew it would be waiting for her. I don't consider half the money for my seat wasted if I'm standing up half the day!

If someone else was in your seat and you came five minutes before the end of Ne'ilah, would you really ask her to move at that point?

I don't know whether she planned only to come to shul those few minutes, or if something happened to prevent her coming earlier. But she had the security of knowing that whatever time she came, her seat would be waiting and she would be able to sit down (or stand up!) with no hesitations and no distractions.

Women who plan to come only for tekiyos or only for the end of Ne'ilah don't always book a seat. They come for those few minutes and cluster round the doors, but they don't take someone else's place. There are no spare chairs. Everyone who comes there, knows that. The gaba'im add seats in the women's section according to how many seats are booked. That is the reason they are so strict about not taking someone else's seat.

(Incidentally, I'm not a member there. I just buy a seat for the Yamim Noraim. During corona they didn't sell seats to non-members, to allow for distance between people. I had to find a different minyan that year, as did many other people. No one without a seat went there that year, either.)