DH invited guest | Imamother

amother

Tealblue

Yesterday at 10:50 pm

OP, I feel bad that so many are jumping on you. I will be dan lekaf zchus, that if you felt the need to uninvite, you have good reasons.

Cmon, ladies, give OP a break. We don't know how old & hard her baby is, & how difficult her in-laws.

I had a challenging mother. One year I had a baby less than 2 weeks before Pesach. I called my mother's Rov, who knew her (so I need not elaborate)

He said, "Pesach, new baby & your mother? NOT doable!" So I cheerfully told them we can't host. (I think a sibling was able to, if not, they would stay home.)

It's not one size fits all, & in my opinion, some posters should apologize to OP!

amother

↑ Starflower

Yesterday at 10:58 pm

amother Tealblue wrote:

When you come on an online forum and post a few paragraphs and then ask based on those paragraphs if what you did was horrible, you will get opinions.

Based on what she wrote, most are of the opinion she shouldn't have done that.

Now if she comes back to tell us that she's actually 9 months pregnant with triplets and her inlaws are mean to her and her husband doesn't help and her baby keeps her awake 9 hours a night, then yeah obviously we would have a different opinion of the situation.

Again, bringing in your unique case of hosting 2 weeks post partem is totally irrelevant to the thread or the OPs initial question.

amother

Taupe

Yesterday at 11:24 pm

Oh no, OP, I wish you hadn't uninvited them. That must have left your mil feeling so hurt.
I guess I must be coming from a different background to you, but the way I grew up we do things that are inconvenient and challenging for the sake of our parents and in-laws.

I hosted my parents for the whole of Succos a few years ago when I had a three-week-old baby. Was hard, and my mom never helped with anything much, but they needed somewhere to go, so of course we invited them. We got through it and it was the right thing to do.

When I had three kids under the age of 3, I hosted my in-laws and their 8 single kids for two days of yomtov. Wasn't easy, but that's life.

After my grandmother passed away, my grandfather used to go to my parents for shabbos every week. for about ten years. it wasn't easy on my parents, or on us kids, but that's what you do. your parent needs you, you are there for them. They were there for us when we were growing up!
I recently became a mother-in-law BH! If my daughter-in-law would disinvite us I would be so hurt it would make me cry Sad

OP you need to learn to handle things that aren't perfect. even if your husband invited them on the spur of the moment without asking you. I feel so sad for your husband and sad for your in laws.