Invited to vort but don't really know family & my husba

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Forum -> Relationships -> Manners & Etiquette

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amother

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 8:25 am

We are invited to a vort for acquittance's child. When I received it via text, I was both happy to be included and but also surprised and wondered why I was being send this invitation, I thought it may have been a mistake. I would like to go because this woman is making an effort to include us.We are invited to so few simchas every year and rarely get invited where someone is making an extra effort to include us. I see her at shul events and we occasionally sit together. We have a few friends in common. Is it weird to go if I do not know the child? My husband does not want to go. It is a 30-45 minute drive and I do not want to go alone or go with other people. He thinks it might have been a mistake.Have you gone to an acquittance's child that was not local? Did you have a feeling like it was a mistake?

amother

Darkblue

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 8:28 am

Vorts are not so formal. You go to say Mazel tov to the parents (the only ones who know the kallah are the kallahs friends and relatives) and you stay a bit and leave. You don’t think so deeply into a vort invite

amother

IndianRed

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 8:29 am

You don’t have to know the kid. The parents invite their friends too.

patzer

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 8:33 am

This seems to be the sort of situation where the term "etiquette" doesn't really apply. You wrote that you were happy to be included. It seems that you want to go. Great! Enjoy! She'll probably be pleased that you took the time to attend.
On the other hand, if you don't want to go, you really don't have to. It's a bit of a drive; she'll understand.

Molly Weasley

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 8:41 am

Echoing others, not knowing the child is not an issue in heimish circles, since the parents are the ones actually making the party.

But the vort is obviously a last minute event and there are no expectations to attend.

PinkFridge

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:12 am

If it's not too late, maybe buy a candy tray (doesn't have to be big) and bring it over earlier in the day with your best wishes.
If you do decide to go, enjoy.

amother

Daffodil

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:40 am

I go for parents not the child all the time.
But don’t stay long at all. So a 30 min drive would be long for me for a not close simcha - but if you will enjoy go.

mommyhood

Thu, Aug 22 2024, 9:49 am

You don’t have to know the child, very typical not to know your friends children but I only travel to a non local vort if it’s family or very close friends not an acquaintance.

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