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Forum
-> Chinuch, Education & Schooling
amother
Caramel
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Today at 8:07 am
amother OP wrote: | Thank you very much. This was super helpful. Just wondering if there is a boys equivalent of shulamith? Thank you |
Unfortunately there is not. Shulamith was an easy decision for our girls since it matches our family's hashkafa, but there is no local equivalent for the boys. Our sons attend Yeshiva of South Shore which is further to the right. In general though, as long as you come to school dressed appropriately, no one is investigating what you wear outside of school. However, I've definitely run into my children's teachers and principals in the local stores, so definitely keep that in mind.
It can also be uncomfortable for your child to learn that their parent isn't following halacha as they learn it. I felt terrible when my young daughter asked my mother in law why she didn't dress tznius once when she saw my MIL in short sleeves. That came from school, not from me, but my MIL started being more careful about how she dressed around my kids.
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amother
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Today at 8:09 am
amother Melon wrote: | Huh? OP literally asked if she would fit in? Just like if I asked, I would be told how I don’t in to Lakewood schools, we have that thread every week. |
I actually think this is the core of the question. OP, do you want to know if you would fit in, or if they would take your kids? They're not always the same answer. In some, they would take the kids but you would be very much among the outliers- and sometimes occupying that place by yourself.
Also, there are a lot of differences between the schools being suggested that would make no difference to you but might be a big deal to your dh. What does he need in a school?
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amother
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Today at 8:10 am
amother Red wrote: | And some of the posts were pretty disgusting on the first page. Then finally some people actually answered her questions. No this doesn’t happen about other schools, then people stick to describing the schools giving the op information to decide if it’s a good fit. Here the posters went after her instead. |
I’ve seen posters telling people how they wouldn’t fit in in Lakewood schools and how it’s not fair to send there based on screens or tznius 100 times.
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amother
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Today at 8:11 am
amother OP wrote: | Thank you very much. This was super helpful. Just wondering if there is a boys equivalent of shulamith? Thank you |
I think there is an equivalent
South shore ?
Both excellent schools I wish we lived in the 5 towns bc of all the choices…
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amother
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Today at 8:17 am
I’d say Halb or RYNJ very very similar RWMO with a big mix
As far as community
I’d lean more towards 5 towns has much more of the yeshivish who became MO crowd and has a big spectrum of shuls and families
Teaneck is more a strong MO YU crowd Bergenfield might be more RW but far from yeshivish
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amother
Ginger
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Today at 8:19 am
I think you'd fit in really well in Teaneck and sounds like RYNJ would be a good fit.
You sound pretty similar to my profile (minus the tank tops, but that's definitely not unheard of here). I also know a lot of "mixed" couples here.
I know more modern Monsey residents also go to Noam and Heichal (boys only), so those might be a good compromise for your husband too, though I personally know less about them.
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mha3484
↓
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Today at 8:20 am
If your really ok with moving anywhere I know plenty who describe themselves like you at arie crown in skokie.
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amother
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Today at 8:21 am
amother Ghostwhite wrote: | I’d say Halb or RYNJ very very similar RWMO with a big mix
As far as community
I’d lean more towards 5 towns has much more of the yeshivish who became MO crowd and has a big spectrum of shuls and families
Teaneck is more a strong MO YU crowd Bergenfield might be more RW but far from yeshivish |
This is a good point. RWMO in 5 towns and teaneck are very different, and if you can afford it, the 5 town’s version sounds more like what you’re looking for. For girls, Shulamith is the right place to start.
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amother
Rainbow
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Today at 8:27 am
amother Seagreen wrote: | Prospect in Flatbush for the girls
Toras emes for the boys |
Wow times must have changed. I went to prospect for 12 years and they were far from MO and definitely not Zionist.
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amother
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Today at 8:28 am
mha3484 wrote: | If your really ok with moving anywhere I know plenty who describe themselves like you at arie crown in skokie. |
I don’t know if Chicago is the answer, but I am definitely open to moving there and I have heard lovely things about arie crown.
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amother
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Today at 8:34 am
amother Ginger wrote: | I think you'd fit in really well in Teaneck and sounds like RYNJ would be a good fit.
You sound pretty similar to my profile (minus the tank tops, but that's definitely not unheard of here). I also know a lot of "mixed" couples here.
I know more modern Monsey residents also go to Noam and Heichal (boys only), so those might be a good compromise for your husband too, though I personally know less about them. |
It’s great to know that this phenomenon of “mixed” couples exists within the community. I don’t know much about heichal, but Noam does seem like it would be far too much to the left for my husband to swallow, but then again, I’m just starting the researching process.
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amother
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Today at 8:35 am
amother Rainbow wrote: | Wow times must have changed. I went to prospect for 12 years and they were far from MO and definitely not Zionist. |
Prospect may be a fit for us but toras emes has moved a lot more towards the right in recent years and I highly doubt they would accept me into their school.
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amother
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Today at 8:41 am
I want to thank everyone who has responded with concrete suggestions! It’s been super helpful and it’s provided me with a lot of direction. I’m still open to hear more suggestions or for affirmation of previous suggestions. Thanks again
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Wolfsbane
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Today at 8:46 am
I don't see why OP wouldn't fit in somewhere like YNJ or Noam. RWMO high schools can be more of a challenge because the population that attends them tends to be more homogeneous (hashkafically and sociologically), so it can be harder to fit in.
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amother
Raspberry
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Today at 8:48 am
For 5 towns, Shulamis does seem to fit. But Yeshiva south shore is not an equivalent. Yes, lots of families send to both, but they are either the right end of Shulamis spectrum, or don’t care that their boys are going to be learning a lot more to the right. Parent body is a large mix at south shore, a lot of mothers dressed like op but not the tank top part.
Halb sounds like a better fit for op. It’s not coed past younger grades, so could work for her boys and girls.
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amother
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Today at 8:51 am
amother Raspberry wrote: | For 5 towns, Shulamis does seem to fit. But Yeshiva south shore is not an equivalent. Yes, lots of families send to both, but they are either the right end of Shulamis spectrum, or don’t care that their boys are going to be learning a lot more to the right. Parent body is a large mix at south shore, a lot of mothers dressed like op but not the tank top part.
Halb sounds like a better fit for op. It’s not coed past younger grades, so could work for her boys and girls. |
I don’t mind sending to a school that is more to the right. I’m not sold one way or the other and all this information is super helpful. To clarify, I don’t prance around in tank tops and pants normally, just when I go on a running trail, that’s what I’ll wear. I’m not sure if that makes a difference, I just wanted to clarify
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amother
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Today at 8:58 am
Wolfsbane wrote: | I don't see why OP wouldn't fit in somewhere like YNJ or Noam. RWMO high schools can be more of a challenge because the population that attends them tends to be more homogeneous (hashkafically and sociologically), so it can be harder to fit in. |
YNJ and Noam are very different in many ways. Based on what OP is describing the way I understand it, YNJ is more likely to be ol for her DH. The high school question is going to need to be addressed with each kid individually, and who knows where OP and her dh will be at by then. YNJ sends to a nice variety of high schools which gives options.
I would suggest a visit so both parents can see and ask questions, including seeing the older grades. Being in this are also gives options to move kids to schools in either direction if that becones desired or necessary.
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amother
Camellia
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Today at 9:04 am
Shulamith and south shore
Halb also a great school just def different for those used to a more by/yeshiva background.
South shore usually feeds into may or drs but some boys go more right wing as well. The hanhala is all mainstream yeahiva people. I know a few mothers there that don’t cover their hair but it’s very very much not the norm.
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amother
Sand
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Today at 9:36 am
Check out Yeshiva Ben Porat Yosef in Paramus. They are having an open house in November.
Also Yeshivat Noam in Paramus. Good luck OP
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