Daycare issue | Imamother

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:50 pm

Op, there are so many red flags on this situation. This is all so wrong and has nothing to do with your baby being advanced.
Your baby would do much better home with you or with a small group of a loving Morah.
Sending her back tomorrow is irresponsible and sad for your baby.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:56 pm

amother Pink wrote:

I understand your point

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

I understand your point

Sometimes it’s so hard to change plans when a lot of things work for us but there are so many red flags to drop baby off there tomorrow is just too sad and unfair to your little one.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:59 pm

amother Pink wrote:

Sometimes it’s so hard to change plans when a lot of things work for us but there are so many red flags to drop baby off there tomorrow is just too sad and unfair to your little one.

I know and thanks for posting your opinion
I'll discuss with DH
I think the thread sounds more severe than it really was. For this kid, a lot of it just makes sense...

Dolly Welsh ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 7:05 pm

If you are sending her out because she needs friends and stimulation, this situation is failing miserably at that exact goal.

And it's the only goal.

Low stimulation, insufficient stimulation, is torture.

Imagine you are in a waiting room. The only magazines on the table are torn, out of date, silly, and few. There are no pictures on the walls. It is forbidden to take out your phone. You just have to sit there, and make do with the stupid magazines from two years ago about long forgotten celebrities you never heard of anyway. For hours.

That's what this feels like to her. Boredom kills the spirit and mind.

Make a change, any change. She would be better off at home as you are a good and stimulating mommy.

This is a SMART KID. You will have this situation forever. Start now buying lots of interesting books and leave them where she can get at them. Always have a few around that are too hard for her. You cannot know when they will not be too hard for her. Life is smoother if they are there already, in advance of need.

Smart kids will kill you if they do not have enough to think about, if they are not learning something. They will make you wish you were never born, until you give them something to learn. Then suddenly sunshine reigns again, in an instant.

This isn't going to change, about her. G-d made her that way.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 7:09 pm

[quote="amother OP"]I know and thanks for posting your opinion
I'll discuss with DH
I think the thread sounds more severe than it really was. For this kid, a lot of it just makes sense...[/quote
Wish you the best for you and your baby.

amother

Lemonchiffon

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 7:10 pm

OP please don’t let everyone here guilt you. If you need to send her out for your mental health, that’s understandable.

You say she’s a velcro baby… it makes sense that she’d cry more than your other kids when you leave her.

I agree with the other poster about bringing her on time. Then you could pick her up after lunch which is a natural break in the day rather than a vague early pickup. I’d also insist on staying until she’s calm. Don’t drag out the goodbye (even if she cries) but if you can calm her down before you leave, it makes sense to do that.

The problem with daycare is that you can’t pick the teachers. They might be great and your daughter just needs more time. Or they’re not and you may need to find a new place. If you do change your mind and keep her home, know that this stage WILL pass and you’ll eventually have some breathing space again.

Good luck! I hope it works out.

TwinsMommy

Tue, Sep 17 2024, 5:35 pm

some kids are just better off at home. I sub for daycares/ playgroups and there are some kids who just cry and cry unless they're being held by Morah. Those kids would be better off at home with 1:1 care--- when Mom needs a break, babysitter joins mom in play.... mom sneaks off to another room while baby is in her home envioronment and calm with sitter, and leaves for a while-- longer and longer each time. I did that and hired a sitter for one morning a week---- other times I worked were during naptime and after bedtime and somehow I managed a career at that point. (I wasn't subbing then, obvs!)

I see the parental side of wanting to calm your kid before leaving, but from the Morah's side..... we've got some kids who cry every time a Mommy or Totty enters the room and they calm down when it's just the one main Morah again. So you're calming your kid, but two other kids have a meltdown cloud over their head and Morah sees it coming. Smile

Depends on the age and personality, but.... wow I had one mom visit who wanted to sit with her kid for a half hour and make comments on what I was doing with other babies "oh he needs a bottle now....." (lady he just had 8 ounces--- that's NOT what he needs now!) So I get the other side too.

amother

Brunette

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 5:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

My baby is just about 15 months and acts like 2.5 year old in every single way... talking, playing, communicating, listens to instructions, makes animal sounds and much more bh keh.
She was put into daycare class with kids 15-17 months , she is youngest.
She's really unhappy. im thinking there is no program for her, its basically babysitting- play with toys as you like, eat at lunchtime, nap at naptime and thats all....
she cries bitterly when I walk in to drop her off and cries bitterly when I pick her up, usually sits on her teachers lap with a sad sad face
she needs more stimulation, even something like the teacher should show her a book or build with her the legos or dress her doll and show her she can be a mommy
thats what she does at home with me... and she does a&c at home too- stickers, doo dots, crayons, clay, kinectic sand...
what do I do? can I ask to put her up a class where they are much more on her level. they have shabbos parties on friday, they go to play outdoors with bikes and more, they have all sorts of activities/games/a&c she would thrive from!
with the details given, would you give it more time or should I have a talk with the director?

Why are you sending out? 15 months old is still a baby and if you don't have to work and she is happy doing activities at home, Keep her home with you. You can take her for park playdates to be with other kids.

amother

Silver

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 5:43 pm

I send to a daycare as I work full use time. When my toddler was a baby her Morah was amazing. She dove into her hands with a smile from 5 months until she aged out that class. At the same time there was a baby in the class that was clingy unhappy and cried a lot. Her mother used to put her in her crib when she dropped her off it was the only way she wouldn’t cry. Fast forward next year as 2 year olds that child is still a hard clingy kid who cry’s easily. The next Morah was amazing and again my child was always happy … people are making a big deal here her kid is just adjusting to a change she will be ok. Let a mother get a needed break without feeling guilty!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 7:06 pm

amother Brunette wrote:

if you would be one of my family members you would understand... its my decision and I dont regret it.
bh she adjusted to her class

amother

↑ OP

Wed, Sep 25 2024, 7:07 pm

amother Silver wrote:

you got this Heart