Daycare issue | Imamother

amother

OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 6:59 pm

My baby is just about 15 months and acts like 2.5 year old in every single way... talking, playing, communicating, listens to instructions, makes animal sounds and much more bh keh.
She was put into daycare class with kids 15-17 months , she is youngest.
She's really unhappy. im thinking there is no program for her, its basically babysitting- play with toys as you like, eat at lunchtime, nap at naptime and thats all....
she cries bitterly when I walk in to drop her off and cries bitterly when I pick her up, usually sits on her teachers lap with a sad sad face
she needs more stimulation, even something like the teacher should show her a book or build with her the legos or dress her doll and show her she can be a mommy
thats what she does at home with me... and she does a&c at home too- stickers, doo dots, crayons, clay, kinectic sand...
what do I do? can I ask to put her up a class where they are much more on her level. they have shabbos parties on friday, they go to play outdoors with bikes and more, they have all sorts of activities/games/a&c she would thrive from!
with the details given, would you give it more time or should I have a talk with the director?

amother

Lightcoral ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:04 pm

amother OP wrote:

what do I do? can I ask to put her up a class where they are much more on her level. they have shabbos parties on friday, they go to play outdoors with bikes and more, they have all sorts of activities/games/a&c she would thrive from!
with the details given, would you give it more time or should I have a talk with the director?

How long has she been in the class?
The class above her may have kids working on toilet training and other skills that even a gifted 15 month old is not developmentally ready for. It could be tough on the morahs.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:05 pm

amother Lightcoral wrote:

its been a very long week... but yes, 1 week..
the older class is still in pampers and they are the oldest class in the facility
I see a major difference in the structure of the 2 classes

amother

Razzmatazz ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

You think she’s crying bitterly just because she needs more stimulation? She can be bored without crying bitterly about it. It sounds like something else is the reason for the sadness

mushkamothers

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:11 pm

Is this your first? I have a 15 month old and while he's very smart and advanced Kah he's certainly not like a 2.5 year old. Developmentally there's really a difference there.

I once had to put 18m old in a real preschool class of 2's a full year older and he definitely needed some more attention from the morahs and a lot of things just flew over his head - like he simply couldn't hold scissors yet, and he ended up befriending the younger or slower kids. He was a super advanced toddler too.

It sounds like the program itself is just babysitting and there is no actual structure. 18 month old group should have activities and a schedule so while you could definitely ask to move her up, I'd try to just find a better place for her.

amother

Milk ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:14 pm

Sounds like it’s her first time in daycare ? First time away from you ?

As an experienced daycare mom it sounds like that is the issue

Starting daycare especially at that older age can be hard transition. Give it a few weeks

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:14 pm

amother Razzmatazz wrote:

You think she’s crying bitterly just because she needs more stimulation? She can be bored without crying bitterly about it. It sounds like something else is the reason for the sadness

for example?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:15 pm

mushkamothers wrote:

I wouldnt put her with 2.5 year olds. I would push her up a class, which is 19 months +

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:15 pm

amother Milk wrote:

its her first time away from me
shes not my first and all my kids did this to me
but they were happy during the day
the teachers tell me that she cries a lot throughout the day

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:17 pm

amother Purple wrote:

Can you find another group that does more for this age? I’d not ask them if they can try out the older class for a week. But usually daycares are very rigid about being in the right age group.

I cant find another daycare at this point. I am very happy I was able to get into this palce, there are many reasons it works out for me and my child
but shes not happy

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:25 pm

I had the stimulation issue with my child before this one too

it was in another daycare and yes they were rigid about keeping her to her age group
she went through a full year of babysitting! the teachers called her the assistant- she helped take off the kids coats and hang up in the cubbies, she found the pacifiers and blankets and gave to correct kid that was crying etc
and then I spent my time at home after school hours and taught her all the yom tuv songs, made with her arts and crafts and played with her games.... she needed it....
(she was actually the oldest in the class and missed the next class deadline by a day or 2. they refused to push her up while the older program was amazing... my baby now is the youngest in her class but same issue... I told them to put her with older kids and they did.....yet still....)

maybe I overstimulate my babies..... then I have high expectations Waiting

amother

Nemesia

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:28 pm

Check out Dr Erica Komisar. If you can keep her home with you until the age of 3, do it. She needs her mother not social interaction. Children don’t benefit from that at this age it’s a myth that society pushes to lessen the blow of sending out babies. She’s sad bc you’re her whole world and you suddenly disappeared.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:29 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

amother

↑ Milk ↓

Wed, Sep 11 2024, 7:29 pm

I don’t get it

You ‘sent her out’ for stimulation

But according to your narrative she’s not being stimulated

You said you ‘overstimulate’ at home

She was happy at home

She’s having a hard adjustment maybe even under stimulated and bored

You’re not working

I don’t get why she’s in daycare if in your own words you can provide for her needs better at home

I say this as a (very happy) daycare moms BH I work full time and my babies started daycare in infancy. But they always enjoyed it and I was working

I love daycare but maybe it’s not what’s best for your baby or your family