Daycare issue | Imamother

amother

Scarlet

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 8:57 am

amother OP wrote:

ill wait another week
I just feel yucky
sending her out under these conditions while im not even working....

She's most likely crying because she was never away from you & is now in a strange new place.
I keep my kids home till 3. Some kids do need some company, but I wouldn't think that your daughter is crying because she's bored.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 5:25 pm

I had a quick talk with the morah one afternoon
the next day at drop off, she distracted her with a book and it was very smoothe... when I picked up that day, my daughter was in the crob. teacher says "dont worry, shes not punished. she just feels safer there" ok..... ummm maybe shes right but I wonder how long she was there...

next day, this teacher wasnt there, so I settled my crying baby... put her into her safety haven, the crib, with a few toys.. I distracted her.. showed her how to put pacifier into doll's mouth and some more... I left when she was calm

in these 5 minutes the teacher commented 3 times I should 'just leave'. but I didnt... sorry..

ill do this again of necessary...
wish me luck for tomorrow

amother

↑ NeonYellow ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 5:27 pm

amother OP wrote:

I had a quick talk with the morah one afternoon
the next day at drop off, she distracted her with a book and it was very smoothe... when I picked up that day, my daughter was in the crob. teacher says "dont worry, shes not punished. she just feels safer there" ok..... ummm maybe shes right but I wonder how long she was there...

next day, this teacher wasnt there, so I settled my crying baby... put her into her safety haven, the crib, with a few toys.. I distracted her.. showed her how to put pacifier into doll's mouth and some more... I left when she was calm

ill do this again of necessary...
wish me luck for tomorrow

She is 1.5?? This sounds kind of off to me... (speaking as a babysitter)
Why is she in a crib outside of naptime?

amother

Gladiolus ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:01 pm

I just need to say… please don’t check out Dr. Erica Komisar. Yes, daycare isn’t ideal ( I believe that the non Jewish daycares are different than the local babysitters with 4-5 kids). She is very very extreme and unrealistic with what life is like. Taking care of children is a balance of needs. Dancing around theirs and yours, being a martyr is unhealthy, and whatever benefits your children received up to the age of three will quickly disappear after that

amother

↑ Gladiolus

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

This seems shady to me. Why did it even dawn on her you would think she would be punished? I don’t know… I think there may be some red flags here. Did you ask around about her?

amother

Mocha ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:22 pm

amother OP wrote:

OP this sounds nuts. Either keep her home or find a better place to send her. My baby is same exact age as yours, same description of how she clings, wants to see everything I do etc. I take her to mommy and me classes, to the park, I let her be “bored” at home when I need to, she loves playing with her older siblings when they’re not in school, she’s my tag along on all my errands and yes it’s hard snd sometimes very frustrating but I try to remember this stage is fleeting and enjoy my time with her! Your husband is not a mother he doesn’t have the same maternal sense you do.

I happen to think my baby would really prefer even more socialization and so what I’ll be doing with her, and I’ve done with my other babies, is find someone in the neighborhood who has a babysitter/nanny at home and wants to share for 2ish hours a day. Look into that.

amother

↑ Mocha

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:33 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really want to make this daycare work out.
I heard great regards.
Besides, there are many details that work for me too.
How should I approach the topic tomorrow? What can I say?

I don’t see how it can work out. It sounds like a bad babysitting group. Not a rich stimulating environment. You can’t change the morah either. It’s sad that your baby should be sitting in a crib with 3 toys. 15 months is tiny.

amother

Clover

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:36 pm

I’m a daycare morah and understand why she was in the crib. We had the occasional child who was super kvetchy and sad no matter what we do. Holding them constantly is not an option as we have a whole classroom to care for. But we always found that these kids were much happier in the crib than being put on the floor, it just felt safer for them. When we had free time we would take out the kid and give them the extra attention they need.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:37 pm

amother OP wrote:

its her first time away from me
shes not my first and all my kids did this to me
but they were happy during the day
the teachers tell me that she cries a lot throughout the day

For sure keep her home with you! This environment isn’t good for her if she is crying a lot. You can do things with her at home to stimulate her. It’s much better to be home with a loving mother at this age no matter how advanced your baby is. Go to the playground, the library, a mommy and me class.
She will be much happier.

amother

↑ NeonYellow

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:37 pm

If I could keep my kids home at 15 months I would. Daycare is only really only a social need by the time they are 3 imo.
If you want to keep her there, ask that she is not kept in the crib when it is not naptime. And ask what they do in terms of activities during the hours she is there.

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:38 pm

amother Nemesia wrote:

Check out Dr Erica Komisar. If you can keep her home with you until the age of 3, do it. She needs her mother not social interaction. Children don’t benefit from that at this age it’s a myth that society pushes to lessen the blow of sending out babies. She’s sad bc you’re her whole world and you suddenly disappeared.

This. You are misunderstanding your baby.
This post should be required reading for all moms.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:39 pm

amother Mocha wrote:

my sister works in a preschool
she says that its normal for some kids to cry all day for the first two weeks
the teachers try but some kids (like mine) are stubborn and it takes more time
I dont regret my decision of sending her out, I do have an option to switch her over to another class so I might if it doesnt work out with her current teachers

p.s. sometimes she can cry by me too for no apparent reason... she is not an easy kid and I so badly need these few hours break

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:44 pm

amother OP wrote:

Please don’t do this to your baby tomorrow. This sounds so sad. Being placed in a crib??
This isn’t stimulating or loving or safe for her.
Hire a one on one babysitter to watch her for an hour or two so you get a break but don’t bring her back to this daycare
Poor baby.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:45 pm

amother Pink wrote:

amother

↑ Pink ↓

Sun, Sep 15 2024, 6:47 pm

amother OP wrote:

I really want to make this daycare work out.
I heard great regards.
Besides, there are many details that work for me too.
How should I approach the topic tomorrow? What can I say?

Don’t bring your baby back there tomorrow. My heart is breaking for your baby.