My DS is going to make me lose it

TwinsMommy

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 5:50 pm

What about making a payment plan to have him help pay for it? By the time he realizes it will take months to earn the $$ even WITH some help from you, he may lose interest so the safety factor isn't a concern anymore?

Honestly at that age, for a neurotypical child, if he'd proven good responsibility and safety (helmets, reflectors, etc) with a regular bike, and he paid for part, I'd seriously consider it. And I come from an unusual perspective..... MY very non-neurotypical 17 year old boy isn't even allowed to WALK the block by himself until he proves he can LOOK at driveways to see if cars are pulling out. Smile

amother

Offwhite

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 6:47 pm

amother Canary wrote:

Not every man can afford a Tesla and that’s life.

I don't recall op mentioning a,financial issues contrary she says she'd rather pay car service than let him ride evoke.

-most men get cars .Tesla or other.
-when kids have a need if it's very important to them they will look to fill it. Sometimes as parents it is important to "give in" to Something that we don't agree with or feel is safe or best for child.but when done on our terms it will be safer than if child does it on their own (borrowing a random scooter then you have no control of speed location helmet etc.or put having without your permission) if we really believe tgis,is so important to child and not just a passing fad, or they are getting their hands on one anyway. Then some times the pros outway the cons in having them purchase (with their own money) a device that meets all our parental requirements and is used with following our rules (controlled speed, specific location, helmet)

amother

↑ Moonstone

Wed, Sep 04 2024, 7:06 pm

amother Canary wrote:

Not every man can afford a Tesla and that’s life.

Many people can’t afford the expensive simchas they make, supporting their children, etc. A lot of people even go into debt to pay for things because it’s considered a “standard” in the community

And this isn’t even a money issue

The point is the answer can’t just be “not everyone needs the same things” because at the end of the day this is literally all he sees in the adults and community around him, besides that it’s human nature

amother

↑ OP ↓

Sun, Sep 08 2024, 5:23 pm

Yes, it's true. He's the only one in his class who does not have one.

(Well he technically does, but more on that in a minute.)

We offered to help him change schools, where the ratio will be much lower, but he said no for the last two years. (I understand that as well.)

A regular bike is impossible for the Monsey hills and the distance between school and home for us.

Pedal assist, I looked into it, I think it was similar situation.

He's not actually missing out socially, so here we go.
For pesach bein hazmanim he complained so much about how I'm going to kill his social life, that we bought him one and he used it for 2.5 weeks. He went to one friend a day. Some days no place. And from that friend they MAYBE went to one other friend. He had made it sound like from davening till sundown, they are all flying around in groups and hanging out and lunch dates and blah blah.
Anyway, he knows that we will rather allow him to begin the license process as soon as possible. That means, permit at 16 and I think junior license at 16.5 complete with giving him a car.

I hear his issue, but as I'm reading what I just wrote, he is a spoiled brat. In my lifetime I would not dream of allowing my child to drive at that age. (and yet here I am, teaching him occasionally, he's decent by now).

Today he came home, I picked him up (because he didn't want car service) I made sure to have a ton of his favorite food (another issue if not) and then he starts complaining that, that means that it'll be a year before he gets a junior license (apparently you need 6 months from permit to junior license) and what's the point by then and blah blah. I had already gotten him the permit book. and done some paperwork to get stuff sorted for then etc.

Come on kid. You need to work with me here. I am so happy to have him. he's great. but he's also making me feel like I'm going to go nuts.