S/O did you make a Covid simcha and love it

amother

OP ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 10:23 am

My baby was born at what was considered the end of Covid in my area. Meaning, people were still getting Covid (including me in my 8th month), but our community had basically gone back to normal. It was the fall of 2020. Lots of people in other communities were still taking it very seriously. Even some in our community including my parents. This was a huge Simcha because we had waited many years for this child. I knew the bris would either be a huge party that everyone would want to join.. or a tiny Covid celebration. I was only a week post partum and was not up for a party in any way! So I used Covid as an excuse. Made a tiny bris with a minyan in my house. Only immediate male relatives were invited with lots of food to go to bring home to their families. Plus my parents might have had a hard time joining if it was a big party. This way they joined comfortably, masks and all. It was the best thing ever and I’m just wondering if others had similar situations and feel the same.

amother

Crystal

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:40 am

Yeah.

A private bris is nice. Many ppl don’t make elaborate big affairs. Mothers from many communities don’t even attend the beis bec they are post parted.

The majority of kallah want to celebrate with their friends and family.

The 2 are so different.

(I actually know kallah who had a covid wedding at the very beginning when she was expecting a big celebration and really suffered from it).

amother

Daffodil

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 11:43 am

Glad it worked for you! It actually worked for us with an occasion that was halachically complicated for us to attend, and this way we just didn't go.

Our own simcha, a bar mitzvah also in fall 2020, was lovely to have small but a ball of stress. The end result was nice and small and not too hectic, and more focused on the boys and grandparents (both live and by Zoom) vs a lot of people ds barely knew. But up until the last minute and beyond we were changing arrangements and unsure if we would be able to have it at all. And we were missing some important relatives.

amother

Lawngreen

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 2:50 pm

I know of a Covid bris in the height of covid, where the father was also the kvatter & sandek, and the mohel was the only other person there. Masked. In a basement. Alone. The mitzva was done and there was no big celebration (at the time). But he did get to have a big celebration and turn out for his Upsherin!

amother

Ballota

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 3:08 pm

We made a bris the 1st week of lockdown. It was very stressful because I was nervous about the mohel carrying germs but otherwise was the best! It was in my dining room with my kids and the seuda was pizza. Easiest bris ever. Relatives joined on zoom. We also made a bar mitzva, small number of guests were allowed but it was bittersweet not to be able to have some grandparents attend (although they were in zoom).

amother

Magnolia ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 3:55 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes!! We made a bar mitzvah, and I absolutely loved it! Instead of hosting everyone (over 100 people just our siblings and their kids) for an entire shabbos and then also having a party during the week, he leined on zoom one night and then we had a private family seuda. A few neighbor families came over to dance, and each had their own “spot” on the lawn until I said they should just dance together because our kids were at each other’s houses all the time anyway. We made a party on Labor Day, I think it was 120 total. They came, they enjoyed, they left. It was just a few hours, not a whole shabbos PLUS another party.
I wish we could do that again now, with our next bar mitzvah.

amother

↑ Magnolia ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 3:59 pm

amother Crystal wrote:

I got married almost 20 years ago, and I would have LOVED a small covid type wedding. I wanted to get married in a backyard, have a small reception….instead we got married in a big hall, with lots and lots of people. I don’t regret it, but if I could go back I would change it. Does that make sense?

amother

↑ Myrtle

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 4:17 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

My dream.

amother

Lightpink ↓

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 4:35 pm

We made a Covid shalom Zachor and bris in the fall of 2020 as well , it was different from our previous sz/bris but not THAT different for a sz/bris

OTOH-

We made a bar mitzvah spring 2020 near the beginning of Covid. For months and months We had planned a regular bar mitzva and then whoosh all the plans went up in smoke almost overnight and we had a VERY different simcha than planned. Like just our kids. At our Shabbos table. It was hard for me not to be able to celebrate with our parents siblings and friends. It was hard for our son who was the first COVID bar mitzvah, there was nothing to go on , none of us had ever experienced anything like it. It was hard. Ask your DH, ask your brothers , every man takes the memories of his bar mitzvah with him for life. I felt my son lost out. We took it as a lesson in Emunah. I hope we all learned what we were supposed to.

amother

↑ Lightpink

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 4:38 pm

amother Magnolia wrote:

Different eras of Covid were different situations. A Labor Day bar mitzvah was very very different timing than an erev Pesach bar mitzvah. What you describe is vastly different than what we had (my post above). In addition to the fear and anxiety , and r”l sickness and death , that was part of erev Pesach time 2020.

amother

Wine

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 6:48 pm

Covid Kallah here. Got engaged before Covid and had to push off the wedding and ended up with BH a beautiful backyard wedding that summer. I really resented the many comments about how lucky I was (and my parents of course) and how crazy weddings are etc etc. The wedding was beautiful but bittersweet because of the many close friends and relatives who weren’t able to be there and the extreme stress of planning and replanning a wedding around everyone’s Covid shittos and dealing with all the fighting. I had planned and looked forward to a simpler takana wedding with everyone I cared about and instead got a physically nicer wedding (and no sheva brachos) without all the people I loved and with a lottt more stress involved. I don’t think people are thinking when they claim they would love to have gotten married in a backyard during covid when meanwhile they’re safely past that stage with their happy wedding memories. All they’re seeing are the pretty pictures and romanticizing the situation.
For the record, I have many friends who got married around that time and none of them would have chosen those circumstances

amother

↑ OP

Thu, Sep 12 2024, 6:55 pm

amother Lawngreen wrote:

My plan was to do a huge 3rd bday to make up for it (We don’t do upsherin)… but my son is special needs and wouldn’t have enjoyed that at all so there went that idea…