There is no school for you

↑ safetynet1 ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:24 pm

amother OP wrote:

I hadn't heard great things about Postville, but can try. I can also try Monsey and Joburg. Although I feel like at this point I'm just hoping they won't look into him that closely, because based on the responses I've gotten till now, if they knew his challenges they would not be interested.

Nyack is a Yeshiva Gedolah I believe. It does have a very good reputation and my son might consider it when he's old enough.

The kids he worked with were about 15-16

amother

↑ Waterlily ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:34 pm

The chol in kfar Chabad is in the evenings AFAIK more an extra than an ikar.
OP I was in your position. Same arguments, same lack of balance between social/emotional and intellectual/yidishkeit. We eventually came to an agreement with one of the big yeshivos where he boards out, we pay one of the older bochurim to keep an eye on him, and he has to go to therapy twice a week. He is thriving bH (but it isn't chabad).

↑ safetynet1

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:35 pm

amother Bronze wrote:

Who worked with 15/16 year olds? Where?

This was my previous post.

I think there is a newish Chabad yeshiva in Nyack that seems very good. I'm not Chabad but a relative of mine mentored boys there and was impressed with them

amother

NeonPink

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:36 pm

actually, reading through the responses, Oholei torah sounds like your best option. It has become a much stronger mesivta in the last few years, especially with the dorm. they are also are in tune with 2024 methods and medications. They might stipulate therapy and medication, but you should try to get in there. My family member tried a few yeshivas for mesivta, one year in Chicago, tried westchester (it’s not open thinking like this), and was home for a long while. He then went to OT with some of his own ideas and some of the schools, he was able to learn very well there. He is also a very very smart boy and would have defaulted to sitting in 770.
If he chooses 770, where would he live?

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 12:39 pm

amother NeonPink wrote:

I haven't heard back from Oholei Torah yet. Sent a few emails.

If he went to 770, he would be completely unsupervised. He would sleep on a bench and eat cake and coffee from the back for 3 meals a day, unless someone brings food. He had no answers when I asked about laundry. Not exactly an ideal setup for a teen who doesn't always exhibit the best judgment.

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:00 pm

safetynet1 wrote:

This was my previous post.

I think there is a newish Chabad yeshiva in Nyack that seems very good. I'm not Chabad but a relative of mine mentored boys there and was impressed with them

Oh, I see what you're referring to.
I'm familiar with this Yeshiva. It actually caters to older Bochurim (17-19)

amother

↑ Dandelion

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:07 pm

amother OP wrote:

Oy, I'm sorry. This is such a hard place to be. 770 is definitely not a healthy choice.

Oholei Torah is probably best contacted in person or by phone. Not email

↑ tree of life ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:18 pm

amother OP wrote:

He definitely understands Hebrew, I don't know how well he speaks it. He was in a Hebrew-speaking yeshiva at one point.

Which of these, if any, are geared to out-of-towners?

Kiryat gat
Has a lot of out of towners

amother

↑ Magenta ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:31 pm

tree of life wrote:

My son is doing kvutza in 770
Totally not recommended as they are to free to do what ever they want sadly

OPs son is way too young anyway to be on his own like that.

amother

↑ Magenta ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:36 pm

OP do you have rabbi silmans email address? Or are you emailing the generic OT mesivta email?

OT has two tracks, a higher learning level and a lower one. It's pretty impossible to get into the higher one unless someone leaves and makes a spot available.
It is still better than no yeshiva at all. No yeshiva should not be an option.

amother

Orange ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 1:44 pm

The title THERE IS NO SCHOOL FOR YOU, is very misleading. It's like a parents of an older single writing THERE IS NO MATCH FOR YOU. There is a school for him. It needs to be found. Maybe the goal should be to help him find a place that will be good for him and help him grow to be the beat person he can be and not look for someplace that will just give you an acceptance letter without caring to know more about him. You and your son need guidance to really focus on making these yrs count. He needs help to be guided towards the place that is right for him and not just what suits his inflexibilitys

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 3:10 pm

amother Magenta wrote:

I emailed the listed address for the correct contact person for his grade. I don't have other ways of contacting people.

I sent him to a yeshiva last year based on the principle of "any yeshiva is better than no yeshiva." I had to bring him home in the middle of the year. So he ended up with no yeshiva in the end anyhow.

Sending him to a lower learning level is very unlikely to work.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 3:27 pm

amother Orange wrote:

No, it's an accurate title.

There is a school for him if he were to be a different person (perhaps one who accepts help, one who is flexible, one who doesn't have such stringent standards for himself).

There is no school for him the way he is. There is no school geared for his strengths (learning and high levels of frumkeit and chassidishkeit) yet willing and able to accommodate his weaknesses.

There is hopefully a school that is willing to take him. But at this point that's the most I can hope for.

Unfortunately a person cannot be forced to accept help. A person cannot be forced to change.

amother

↑ Bronze ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 4:02 pm

amother OP wrote:

Unfortunately this is the reality 😭

LovesHashem ↓

Tue, Jul 23 2024, 4:09 pm

amother Orange wrote:

OP is right. There's literally no support, schools, organizations, or anyone who is involved with high functioning autism.