My child drowned and now hes traumatized...

amother

Chestnut

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:41 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thanks everyone! Its not enough if I take him to a pool with no one there and see if I can get him to go in?
Does he also need therapy ?
When he plays he keeps saying Oh no Im drowning!! Help me!! sometimes its with toy people drowning and sometimes hes laying on the floor playing it out

It does sound like he can use play therapy to process the trauma. It’s better to do it while fresh than have it come back to haunt him later in life.

B'Syata D'Shmya

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 3:31 pm

amother OP wrote:

Thats up to you.
From your description, he still relives that moment. Must be scary to be him. All I know is that if he does need therapy and doesnt get it now, it will haunt him later. Thats not to say that therapy will work, sometimes it doesnt. I would ask my pediatrician who knows my child.

amother

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 3:39 pm

B'Syata D'Shmya wrote:

Ive never gone to therapy and I grew up with the idea that therapy doesnt do much so it feels foreign to me....

gamanit

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 5:32 pm

amother OP wrote:

Maybe next time he does it with toy people sit down to play with him and say "I'll save you!" (in a cheerful playful tone of voice) and rescue the drowning toys then have the toy go swimming again a minute later and have fun. See how he reacts.

amother

Tan

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 5:38 pm

This just happened to my 3 yr old last week. I immediately comforted her and told her she was ok and mommy saved her.

She asked me why Hashem didn’t take her out right away… it was a hard conversation to have.

But what I did was bring her to a pool the next day with floaties on and showed her that she can be safe in the water. I guess I exposed her right away which minimized the trauma. I didn’t help her avoid the situation…

But for OP it been a year, so I would assume some very qualified swim teacher along with you helping, with compassion and patience.

amother

Blueberry

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 6:00 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

It does sound like he can use play therapy to process the trauma. It’s better to do it while fresh than have it come back to haunt him later in life.

The swimming with a certified swim instructor trained to work with trauma is the best of all worlds . They generally include play- therapy type activities IN the water .

amother

Maple

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 6:07 pm

When I was 8 and starting to learn how to swim, I needed to be rescued from the (shallow) pool by the lifeguard.

I've been too scared to swim ever since. I continued lessons but was never able to graduate to deeper waters. I still have a problem with water now, it's difficult for me to go completely underwater at the mikva.

My friend also went underwater at the same swimming session, and she never thought about it again afterwards. In general, I'm more anxious and she's more of a happy go lucky personality.

So everyone is different, but if he's anxious about it, I would say it's definitely worth going with the advice here.

amother

Foxglove

Tue, Jun 25 2024, 3:16 pm

amother OP wrote:

So I thought it would be enough to just bring my daughter to the pool and try myself. It has been years and her phobia has actually gotten worse.

She isn't the anxious type at all, I was surprised that she stayed so anxious about it.

Even if therapy wasn't your thing, that doesn't mean it isn't the right thing for your child.

If he is playing it out, that means he is still processing it and very much is not over it. It is healthy for them to play it out, but it is a sign that he may need help dealing with it.