How often to allow child to go with friends for pizza/ice cr

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amother

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 9:36 pm

My 5th (going into 6th) grader is constantly asking for money to go out with friends for ice cream and/or pizza (we live in a place that he can go there himself with friends). How much is "normal" to allow ?
On one hand I don't want to deprive him, if this is what's normal those days then I guess I'd allow it... On the other hand I don't want to spoil him or kind of raise the bar for other kids to ask for this from their parents as well...
Hes my oldest and I'm not really friends with anyone with a child that age so I'm unsure what's the norm...

amother

Rose

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 9:40 pm

More than once maybe twice a month seems like a lot.

Lady A

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 9:47 pm

My dd had this issue too. At one point we recommended that they just hang out at a friends house, even ours. We believe it’s important to instill a sense of financial education and let them know that money doesn’t grow on trees. You don’t always have to spend money when socializing with friends.

amother

Hosta

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 10:04 pm

Have him earn the money and pay for it himself.

#BestBubby

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 10:08 pm

Or have him earn money with good behavior or extra help around the house.

And he can use his birthday/ chanukah $.

But still, limits.

I think once a month.

amother

Amaranthus

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 10:15 pm

Once a week depending on where you live.
In BP We earned money or allowance

amother

Oldlace

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 10:18 pm

He is getting close to the age when he should be getting an allowance and then it is up to him to decide how to spend it.

If he can't afford pizza, then maybe he will go and just get a soda.

I went to school where I took public transportation in NY and so after school my friends and I would go often go someplace to get drinks because it was a commuter school and we scattered. There were times when I couldn't afford to get anything and so I would just sit and enjoy the company or nurse the least expensive option.

emee2

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 11:00 pm

My girls are older but they pay for it with allowance. My kids basically get the amount of their grade, per week. So my 2nd grader gets $2 and my 11th grader gets $11. This is free money with pretty much no strings attached. But they use it for stuff like this. This helps them learn to budget and save etc.

Sewsew_mom

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 11:11 pm

I had an issue with my 8th grade son. Going out with friends way to often. Those friends families have no concept of money, nor do they need to.
I gave him an allowance and let him choose how he can spend.
And he's learning. It was a good learning experience for him.
That's what worked for me.

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