S/O If you really wish you could make Aliyah, but...

juggling

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:07 pm

If you are not interested in Aliyah, not on your radar, not until Mashiach comes... That's fine, you do you, but this thread is not for you.

On the other hand, for all those who say they would love to make Aliyah, they wish they could, but they can't right now because kids, elderly parents, parnassa, etc...

All of these are temporary situations. Therefore if you really want to be able to make Aliyah one day please, please talk about it with your kids. Tell them all the time how you wish you had done it when they were young, and you still hope to be able to one day. Tell them how proud you'll be if they decide to make Aliyah when they're older. And tell them how much easier it is to make Aliyah when they're just starting out in their careers and just beginning to build their families.

If you're lucky, your kids will make Aliyah at the best time in their lives, and you will be in a position to follow them.

amother

Saddlebrown

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:23 pm

My parents and in laws both did this, they were very vocal about how much they wished they could live in Israel.
None of my siblings (in a large family ka'h) live here. My in laws have several children here.
Point is - it's always a good thing to do, telling them how much you wish for it and instilling in them a real love for EY - but you can't predict who will actually end up living here. There are many factors involved.

amother

Apricot

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:26 pm

My kids are their own people and very firmly American. The only thing I will and can do is send them to spend some time in Israel. The rest is up to them. If an Israeli would come up on the list of potential shidduchim, I would probably look elsewhere. Culture and mentality should match. Therefore the chances of my kids moving to Israel beyond on an eagle's wings, is not great.

juggling

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:33 pm

amother Saddlebrown wrote:

100%. We can't control the outcome as far as the choices our kids make. But we can try to influence them to the best of our ability.

I started this thread because I was thinking about all the complicated things preventing people from making Aliyah, and how so many of those issues are really temporary. For most people the best time to make Aliyah is as a young adult, and the second-best time is as a retiree.

If your kids are oriented towards Aliyah from when they're young, they will hopefully make Aliyah-oriented choices in terms of career, shidduch, etc. And then if they do, they may just pave the way for you to follow them, as retirees.

amother

Cerulean

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:35 pm

My mom did this but none of her kids ended up there. Primarily because its really hard to move away from the support of your family at any age. Many of my sibs got married young and really relied on my parents hand on help. My mom always said when she retires shes making aliyah. But thats not happening either because she is not going to move away from her grandchildren they r her life.

essie14

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:37 pm

We made aliyah when my in laws were relatively young and healthy. Well under retirement age.
They visited us frequently.

When they retired and started declining in health they made aliyah and followed us, even though they have other children and grandchildren in America.
BH they're very happy here.

juggling

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:39 pm

Just to get personal for a second, my parents and my in-laws both talked a lot about Aliyah when their kids were growing up. They each had some kids who took the plunge and some who didn't. And they both ended up retiring to Israel.

From my vantage point, we chose to make Aliyah when our kids were very young. I am forever grateful we made that choice. I see how hard it is for people to come once they have a career and their kids are a bit older. And I'm so glad we didn't have those particular challenges to overcome.

Last edited by juggling on Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:41 pm; edited 1 time in total

juggling

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 2:40 pm

amother Cerulean wrote:

I'm sorry for her that it didn't work out the way she had hoped. The outcome isn't in our hands, but she tried!

amother

DarkViolet

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 3:51 am

I had horrible parents, a mediocre sibling relationship, and little contact with extended family. It was super easy for me to break away and come to Israel when I was 18. I had been waiting for years to cut off my parents, and putting an entire ocean between us made me happy.

If I had had loving parents in the US, I would not have come to Israel.

I'm glad I'm in Israel now. I feel like this is one of the understandable instances of "when Gd closes one door, he opens another". I was denied one incredible blessing in life, but that denial ultimately helped me achieve another incredible blessing. B"H.

Success10

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 4:56 am

I think pushing a love of Israel in the childhood home is a big part of it. But maybe a bigger piece is when the kids come to learn or volunteer here after high school. Or perhaps start out here as a young couple. Actually physically being here is what causes people to become attached and choose to live here. Even if they go back to the States for a few years to organize themselves, what pulls them back is the memories of the time they were in Israel and how they resolved to make it their reality. That's what I've noticed, anyway.

juggling

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 5:12 am

amother Bluebell wrote:

I moved to israel when I got married alone w no family and honestly its so hard for me and I miss living in america so much.

I'm so sorry you're going through that. Sounds like it's relatively recent? It's normal for there to be an adjustment period. If you and your husband are committed to staying, chances are you'll get acclimated with time. And then your kids IYH will grow up Israeli, they won't have to go through that adjustment.

A lot of times when I've experienced the uncertainty that comes with being an immigrant, I console myself with the knowledge that my kids won't ever have to go through this challenge.

amother

Geranium

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 5:41 am

Great point op. I come from a family where living here was a value, we had lots of relatives who made aliyah over the years. My husband had fewer relatives do it, but was also a spoken about value. We were the first to move here from our immediate family but so far one other married sibling has come and there are still singles that could go either way. Definetely not all will end up here, some are pretty settled in the US already with a bunch of kids, but there could still be more. And I think both sets of parents could potentially retire here when the time is right.

Right now as a young family, not having parents/in-laws close by for support and visits is something that is really hard. It comes up all the time - I would love to spend shabbos with them, yom tov, small occcasions and regular visits.. but all we have is video calls and the rare plane-visit trip by either them or us. Plus the chaval of seeing our siblings and their families even less than that. For me, one of the hardest parts of living here. I hope more of our family moves here very soon. But in the meantime, I am still happy to be here. And yes, iyh my kids will have their whole families around them when they are at this stage.

amother

Bluebell

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 7:48 am

juggling wrote:

I moved almost 2 years ago