Is it true out of towners? better quality of life?

amother

Firethorn

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 3:39 pm

amother Daisy wrote:

I considered it for a while. After speaking to a few friends I realized I’m better off where I am. The ones in tiny towns have no friends, its a tight clique and impossible to break into, also any issues they have with classmates, teachers or school they are stuck living with it, there are no alternative classes or schools. Same with shuls.

The ones living in bigger towns call me to tell them what’s in. They come shopping where I live to follow trends and keep up the joneses. Meanwhile I wear and do as I like and I have enough movement in my neighborhood and school that we have friends and aren’t required to keep up with trends to fit in.

So I’ve come to realize that happiness is a state of mind and my life in town is way more chilled and has way less stress since I have options and the ability to make things better.

So true!!!
Pros and cons.

Best not to be that person making waves, let live and be carefree you’ll make friends anywhere Wink

- Yaa even in town!!! 😂

amother

Zinnia

Tue, Jun 18 2024, 11:27 pm

I love small oot (Waterbury). Definitely easier pace of life. No traffic, kids with friends every which way, easy carpooling and school buses. Tuition is lower than in town which is unlike most oot places, with generous scholarships. Ppl here literally "shop" at a clothing gemach. Rent is highish but housing prices are low so if you can buy you don't need that much money. A lot of one parent working families or the women work in the local schools part time hours for a few extra dollars. A lot of ppl do have family here. I don't, but if you want you can definitely find friends and a support system like family. Soooo much chesed here. I think it's a good place to try oot bc it's close to major Jewish areas so you can get your fix if you need it and see if you really crave in town when you have access to it but don't live there.

amother

Copper

Wed, Jun 19 2024, 2:51 am

Ellie7 wrote:

This is such an in-town attitude.

Signed,
A Southern Californian

Exactly! LAer over here. Housing is EXPENSIVE. Maybe not compared to NY but way more than probably most communities. I feel like we are a mix between in and out of town.

Like at the same time while there are some shuls that focus on specific fashions or externals, we have a huge group that really don't care what style you wear. And yes, you can push a Graco to shul. A Doona is not mandatory in all shuls- you pick your type/crowd. But there are some shuls that attract a crowd that DOES care.
We have a ton of schools so people have variety and switch if necessary and it seems like new options keep opening. Same with shuls.
Lots of food and restaurant options. Lots of amenities.

amother

Sapphire

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 6:50 pm

Out of town in frum terms does not equal country life versus city life. You have to do a lot of research into the “town” (which might actually be a city).

I live OOT in a city. Housing is very expensive, think 1mil for a one floor condo that hasn’t been changed much since the house was built in the 1920s).

We do not have a lot of in town perks:
No family nearby, we either have to drive a long drive (there and back) or miss simchas,
limited eating out,
one local kosher grocery that closes at 5 some days and runs out of milk sometimes,
no bussing for kids (lots of carpooling…),
no round the clock minyanim—you wake up late, you missed it…!
Very challenging to find, and when you do, very expensive, childcare,

but we LOVE it here.
We love our community. We love the open mindness and chesed, the almost zero peer pressure. I love that my kids teachers are my friends and neighbors and have known my kids since they’re born, I love that we have an Eruv and a Shabbos park where we meet the whole community every week. I love the more simple life compared to my in town friends. I love that my son’s rebbeim are our neighbors and they keep a special eye out for him and know without my saying anything when he can use a little extra TLC… I can keep going.

You have to do you. No one can make that decision for you. It has to work for you and your family.

amother

Dill

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 7:07 pm

Depends what's important to you. I live OOT, with one school each for boys primary and high school, and the same for girls.
Two small Kosher food shops, a butcher and dry goods store. No restaurants, but a couple of milky takeaways.
Clothe shops, we have a few which are open a couple of hours a day, or by appointment.
Personally, I love it. You know your neighbours and your kids friend's Moms and we all support each other-both for a Simcha and R'L when going thru a hard time.

Many Moms are SAHMs when they have a lot of young kids, or work part-time. Most jobs are 'round the corner', some families don't have cars, and very few need two... (My job is in a school 4 minutes walk away. My kids' schools are within a few minutes walk as well. No buses or car-pools necessary.)

Housing is cheap, most people manage to buy pretty early on.

But....when people visit, even when they keep complaining about the rat race that can happen in big cities, the competition, the expense of fitting in, the lonliness because people don't have time to stop and smell the roses, they say 'I could never live in a small town!' Even we have around 500 families.

So guess it's what you're used to, or how important loads of choice of food and clothes shops, restaurants etc are to you.