My child drowned and now hes traumatized...

amother

Steel

Sat, Jun 22 2024, 11:27 pm

He needs swimming lessons who someone who can deal with his trauma. But empowering him so that he knows that won't happen again is so important!

(It's also so important for children who haven't had such a trauma to know how to swim)

amother

NeonYellow

Sat, Jun 22 2024, 11:30 pm

My children watched a family - including very small children- go under the water ( drown??) at a beach and eventually get pulled to safety. Was extremely traumatic experience and we never found out what happened to them as they left in an ambulance.

Most of them have a fear of the beach. How can I get rid of it?

amother

Blueberry ↓

Sat, Jun 22 2024, 11:30 pm

This happened to my sister at the same exact age.

This was over 25 years ago and my sister says she still remembers that moment - the shock, the helplessness, and the fear.

She says therapy made it worse because all it did was harp on the trauma and made it difficult for her to move past it, and that the best thing my mom did was to end the therapy and to take her to a certified swimming instructor who specialized in trauma.
The instructor took it slow and explained that drowning like that is one in a million and that chances are it would never happen again. But that the goal of the swim lessons was to be prepared. That at the end of the lessons she would know how to swim so well without needing to think about it , so she will never feel helpless in the water again.
With time , my sister gained trust of the instructor. And she gained water skills and confidence faster than anyone expected.

simcha12plus

Sat, Jun 22 2024, 11:31 pm

there is fatal drowning and non-fatal drowning.
there is non-fatal drowning with life long lasting effects. and non fatal drowning that has no effects.
and even non-fatal droning can be terrifying.
get therapy NOW.
the best therapy is going to be exposure therapy.

amother

Natural

Sat, Jun 22 2024, 11:36 pm

My son also had a near drowning experience at similar age this year. Ended up in hospital and he had water in lungs was admitted for a night and released in am bH. Really a neis he is ok. He wants to swim again but we haven't had a chance yet. I hope he doesn't get scared

↑ #BestBubby

Sat, Jun 22 2024, 11:57 pm

amother Chestnut wrote:

She’s using it correctly back off the op. “Drowning is not always fatal. Fatal drowning happens when the drowning results in death. Nonfatal drowning happens when a person survives a drowning incident. Nonfatal drowning has a range of outcomes or results, from no injuries to very serious injuries such as brain damage or permanent disability.”

According to the Cambridge dictionary

Drown means to die

Drown. Verb

To die by being unable to breathe underwater.

https://dictionary.cambridge.o.....drown

amother

Glitter

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:00 am

#BestBubby wrote:

According to the Cambridge dictionary

Drown means to die

Drown. Verb

To die by being unable to breathe underwater.

https://dictionary.cambridge.o.....drown

From google

The World Health Organization in 2005 defined drowning as "the process of experiencing respiratory impairment from submersion/immersion in liquid." This definition does not imply death or even the necessity for medical treatment after removing the cause, nor that any fluid enters the lungs.

amother

↑ Blue

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:14 am

#BestBubby wrote:

According to the Cambridge dictionary

Drown means to die

Drown. Verb

To die by being unable to breathe underwater.

https://dictionary.cambridge.o.....drown

The Cambridge dictionary is commonly used in UK circles. However most people here reside in the US, and so go according to Merriam Webster’s definition. https://www.merriam-webster.co.....drown

amother

Stone ↓

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:26 am

OP, maybe tell your child the spiel about swim lessons and see how he reacts and take it from there.

Abt the word"drown":

All dictionaries say to drown means to die. I'd never in my life heard the word to mean anything other than to die. Maybe colloquially in some communities it is used to mean any water-reated trauma, but that is not the technical definition. Also, the WHO is not a dictionary.

amother

↑ Stone

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:27 am

amother Blue wrote:

The Cambridge dictionary is commonly used in UK circles. However most people here reside in the US, and so go according to Merriam Webster’s definition. https://www.merriam-webster.co.....drown

That also says it means die

amother

↑ Chestnut ↓

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:30 am

amother Stone wrote:

Drown does not mean to die even if some dictionaries irresponsibly say so. It’s a medical term. There are fatal and non fatal drownings. Being that there is a medical term called a non fatal drowning it is irresponsible for a dictionary to define drowning as die. It’s not a community dependent thing it’s a medical term.

amother

↑ Blueberry ↓

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 12:35 am

Can people please go and debate the definition of ‘drown’ on a new thread?

OP is obviously posting as a dedicated mother with a goal to help her child who has experienced a traumatic event move forward as best as possible.

We all understand what OP means. Let’s be keep this thread supportive and constructive to the obvious objective of this post.

amother

Foxglove ↓

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 1:40 pm

Something similar happened to my dd as a toddler. She is now at the end of elementary school and still phobic of the water. We have tried tons of swimming lessons in different formats. At least a few times, different swimming teachers pushed her out of her comfort zone (even though they knew about her trauma) and dd was convinced she was drowning each time and her fear became worse.

Don't send your kid to group swimming lessons. Send to a private teacher one on one. But it has to be a teacher well trained in kids with trauma. Sometimes hydrotherapists are trained in this, look into hydrotherapy - it is also done is small warm pool without a lot of people around and often feels safer to a child with previous water trauma.

Therapy is also recommended, I know one poster said her sister saw a therapist who harped on her trauma, but there are many different types of therapies and you need to find a licensed child psychologist trained in trauma and phobias in young children. This is vital, I was sure dd would outgrow it and she did not (even 9 years later), professional help can make a world of difference. And the sooner the better.

amother

Yellow

Sun, Jun 23 2024, 3:38 pm

swim lessons. my daughter had to pulled out twice by supervising adult. both times the adult was so fast that I don't know that she even realized what was happening but now that she's older she thought about it and got scared. we gave her swim lessons and she's passed the deep water test. feels much more confident.

rowena

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 1:59 pm

Agree with imas saying therapy and/or specialized swim lessons. As a parent, you can tell him that his fear makes sense (because it does), that way they don't deal with the secondary emotions, like shame, anger etc.

amother

↑ Chestnut ↓

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:31 pm

amother Zinnia wrote:

I know a teenager who drowned, was under water for 5 minutes. Was resuscitated and recuperated. Was back swimming in the same pool a few days later.
So did that teenager drown?

Obviously. That was a non fatal drowning

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jun 24 2024, 2:37 pm

Thanks everyone! Its not enough if I take him to a pool with no one there and see if I can get him to go in?
Does he also need therapy ?
When he plays he keeps saying Oh no Im drowning!! Help me!! sometimes its with toy people drowning and sometimes hes laying on the floor playing it out