Embarrassed student what to do?

seeker

Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:37 am

You have to be careful with this one because not all students can handle it, it does sound like your kid is on the older side though. Sometimes I just take the "tough love" angle. I talk to the kid like one adult to another. I'm not trying to "get you" to do anything and I'm not going to tiptoe around the issues - yes it is frustrating for you that these things are still hard after working on them already last year. I get it. But that's the reality and that's what we need to deal with. Talk about the self-awareness that people's brains work differently and that everyone has strengths and weaknesses. And yes it stinks to have to face your weaknesses, but we are in this together and this is how we're going to do it - by reviewing things that you already learned, and by taking smaller steps, etc. And this is the part where you are going to have to trust me, because to you it looks like "baby stuff" but I am a professional and I know that by doing this now, this is how you are going to be able to reach your goals. I'm going to do what I can to make it more interesting/rewarding for you, but you're going to have to put in the grunt work for it to happen.

Of course none of this is verbatim from an actual conversation with a student, I'm just sharing the basic idea that I have in mind when I have a kid who is older and avoiding their problem. Facing, recognizing, and dealing with the feelings associated with "baby" work is one of the most important skill sets we can give our students who learn differently. The math will become a non-issue in a few years, but the ability to live with challenges is only going to get more important.

#BestBubby ↓

Thu, Sep 19 2019, 7:49 am

amother [ OP ] wrote:

I am a SETTS provider and work with students one-on-one who struggle to keep up in class. One student is 2/3 grade levels below in math and is embarrassed to do any work below her grade level. When I give her work that is on her level she states that it is so "babyish" and says she wants to do math in her regular math book. I tried to take examples from her book and break it down in the areas that she needs help with, but her math book is just way too high.

Any advice on how to deal with this student who is embarrassed every day and lacks motivation?

Hi. I am a SEIT/SETTS provider.

There is a series of books called "Learn Math Fast" that teaches math from addition through high school in a fast way. It is written to ADULTS so it is not babyish.

I never used it, but it sounds like it would be helpful for this student.

amother

Copper

Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:02 am

One of my daughters teachers used to do what was called minute math and I think she gave them 3 minutes for it but you got a sheet and it was too review math skills and you moved on to the next sheet when you mastered that page in under 3 minutes. Some girls did that the first time they did the sheet others needed multiple tries and the teacher started off with easier review and said it's a warm up so the brain gets into mode. Maybe you can adapt by putting on one or several pages simpler to harder examples and tell her to challenge herself and see how far she can get in 3 or whatever amount of minutes and then try again and then work where she consistently gets stuck and then do again and she'll see she can get further in 3 or whatever amount of minutes and then she'll feel better about herself and tell her you know you gave her below level that's just to warm up there brain and get it into mode so she can do her level faster. Maybe it will appeal to her dignity better.

amother

Cerulean

Thu, Sep 19 2019, 8:27 am

I have kids who struggle in school.

I bless the *one* time I watched the super bowl and the football player whose name I can NEVER remember scored the winning touchdown. It was a really exciting game and when they interviewed him afterward, they asked what was going through your mind at that second when there was an opening and you got through. And he answered "I gotta get it in." I love that guy!!

I used that line FOREVER with my kids. I told them how he just practiced over and over again and he wasn't even this great player, but when he saw the opportunity he was prepared. He wasn't thinking yay now we're gonna win. He wasn't thinking oooh maybe I'll be MVP! The ONLY thing he was focused on was getting the play right. That's what dedication and focus is.

I tell them all the time that to be good at stuff, we need that kind of focus. And its practice and doing boring things over and over again without giving up and just having faith that you'll get the chance to score.

amother

Blue

Thu, Sep 19 2019, 11:10 am

seeker wrote:

Seeker, I use this approach with kids like this. I tell them this. I also like to add in that they're so smart that they were able to figure out a way to get by all the way until Grade X, even though this specific thing is a struggle for them, with no one figuring it.

amother

Babyblue

Thu, Sep 19 2019, 5:07 pm

amother [ Blue ] wrote:

^^^^^^^this this this.

I couldn't read properly till around 7th grade.
I remember reading a dr Suess book around age 12-13 and reading it on a normal pace without mistakes. I was stretched out on the kitchen island/Peninsula..... and reading it aloud like that for the first time. I was Sooo proud of myself.

It took till 3rd/4th grade for the adults to realize there is a real problem. And till 5th to actually start evaluation and stuff.
On the other hand, I was the fastest and best in my class for math skills...
I was awsome at problem solving, public speaking and history (but not memorization of names and dates. Odd, I know)....
I had street smarts.

Having learning disabilities/difficulties, was the best teacher I could ever have had.
I wouldn't trade it for anything.
(But I do wish the adults in my life were kinder about it....)

Signed, a dyslexic adult.

relish

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 7:05 am

OP, you shared that your student learned the same material in the past years, and she is still trying to integrate it and move onto the next level of math.
Something that has had success in some cases of children who have trouble integrating and utilizing what they have already learned in the past is called brain gym. Because of it’s many benefits, some school in Brooklyn have implemented it into the curriculum.

There are a few good videos on YouTube that show exercises that she can do to help her brain in a different kind of way.

I have attached one below. Try an 1-3 exercises for a week or two and see if she begins to have an easier time with math.

amother

↑ OP

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:23 pm

naomi2 wrote:

Try to use manipulatives instead of pen and paper or dry erase board or make games where she will need to use math (such as ones that use dice) or make contests to work toward a prize. When she complains it's too easy you can tell her shes so lucky it will easier for her to win the prize!

This is what I do, if I use anything besides a worksheet she responds by saying that it is just a waste of time. When we played a game she said what's the point I don't want to do this. And when I created a contest and bought in prizes she told me that what I bought was dumb... She is not very enthusiastic about much, which is what I am trying to work on as well.

amother

↑ Amethyst ↓

Fri, Sep 20 2019, 1:26 pm

amother [ OP ] wrote:

How about playing monopoly? My son learned to read and do math and felt more competent.

Tzippy323

Fri, Nov 01 2019, 2:53 am

The problem is that you are not scaffolding. As an example, the class is learning long division. You make up a sheet (never use her text as she is already failing with that), and include all the skills she needs in example form. The las problem on the page is the type her class is doing. The first problem would be subtracting with regrouping. If she can’t do that then she will not be able to divide correctly. The next problem should be a series of 5 multiplication facts. The next problem should be multiplying two two-digit numbers. The next problem should be dividing a three digit dividend by a single digit divisor, and the final problem would be a four digit dividend and a two digit divisor.

Tell her that in order to get to the last problem she needs to know each of these steps. If she makes an error at one step, stop write down two or three problems, and make sure she can do them. Then you can continue. She will see that you are working towards her goal in a positive way by achieving each of the steps she needs.

You didn’t mention whether she has difficulty retaining information. If that is the case, this route will help her reinforce each skill.

Hatzlocha!