Hungry | Imamother

amother ↓

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 9:39 am

I need some advice from you ladies. My 6 year old son is B"H a good eater. And although I know it is great sometimes it just gets hard wnen he starts demanding food. He comes home from school and the first thing he goes to check if his food is ready. I have had issues wiht him before about it, but a certain Rav that I spoke to said that I should try and have the food ready before he comes. So, fine I got better at it, and lately the food is ready and even on the table. Today though was an exception and I told him go change wash your hands and by the time you will come here it will hopefully be ready well he just started screming hysterically and crying like how can I do this to him when he is so hungry. I explained to him that even his father will sometimes wait patiently and he is not screaming. Anyway after a couple of minutes of this not going anywhere I just lost it and screamed at him, and he went into his room, I feel terrible when this happens Crying

but what should I do?
Thank you

brooklyn

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 9:54 am

I understnd asking a rav questions about certain things, I personally don't think that this is one of those things. (just my opinion of course, do what you feel you must) Children have to learn patience. They only understand instant gratification. Waiting even five minutes seems lik an eternity. I would try to have a light snack ready when he comes home. If it is not ready then he has to learn how to wait without throwing a fit. It won't happen right away, but with patience on your part he will learn to wait if necesary.

TzenaRena

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 10:08 am

When my kids come home really starving, the first thing I ask them is did you eat lunch today? You'd be surprised how many times the answer is no! sometimes they don't like the school lunch, and just nibble at something small.

I insisted that they must find something to eat, even if they don't like the lunch, they can at least have bread. but should not come home starving like that. I always have snack for when they walk in, but supper isn't served till later on, like 6:00.

When they were younger, and in Pre-aA, I found out that the schedule for those classes for lunch was really early, like 11:30. No wonder they were so hungry after school!

gryp

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 11:19 am

Amother, I would suggest teaching him a bit of patience. I tell my 3 year old to count to 20 when he wants something I can't give him that second. Or I show him the clock and tell him that when it moves to the next number if he is sitting nicely and quietly by the table I will give it to him.

It is already a set rule in my house that when you come in from outside you wash your hands with soap. There is no arguing about it. In this city you can almost feel the filth around you.

Tantrums dont work in my house either. I just ignore them until it's all over.

Quote:

I just lost it and screamed at him, and he went into his room, I feel terrible when this happens but what should I do?

I dont think you should feel terrible. I think you should set up the snack and tell him that it's ready for him whenever he is ready to come out of his room if his tantrum is over.

↑ amother ↓

Wed, Nov 29 2006, 2:01 pm

thank you all, I guess patience IS something that I need but it is just so hard when he is screaming uncontrollably and I can't even put in a word to calm him down. With regards to a snack he was having this fit while chewing on pretzels.
Brooklyn, the Rav that I asked isn't an halacha Rav, but somebody who deals with chinuch

withhumor ↓

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 6:51 pm

When my 6 yr old started English this year, he came home 5:50 and he was like a wolf / bear – you name it. He freaked out, AND his food was steaming hot by his plate,. He was shouting that he’s starved and it takes him so long to hang up his jacket….

Yes, it’s a chinuch issue but you also have to rule out the physical clues. After one day of a performance like that I asked him about his food schedule (when his stomach was full already) and he also told me that after 1 o’clock lunch there was no recess blah blah. So for starters, I asked him if he wants an extra nosh, or a fruit or a sandwich. He picked a sandwich and he came home the next day like the kid I always knew. After about two weeks, he stopped asking for the sandwich completely. He adjusted to his new schedule and all’s well. I’m not saying, his food is always hot by his place when he steps in but he knows that a reaction like that will be totally ignored so he doesn’t go that route.

Also, he may be relying heavily on this meal so if you are working or simply can’t have it ready every day at the this time, consider SOUP. Make a pot of soup that he likes and keep it in the fridge, and warm it up before he comes home. While he eats, you bought yourself a few minutes to finish up the next course. Good luck!

↑ withhumor ↓

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 6:59 pm

Oh, su7, a famished 6 yr. old with a huge appetite cannot be satisfied with a fruit. My son eats for 2 and he still wears size 3 underpants, that’s how skinny (and handsome) he is, although he wears size 10 clothes for the height! They want a ‘totty meal’ and they want it NOW! When he was 4 years old he used to come home at 3 from yeshiva and he would stand by the stove and say “I’m just checking if you’re making supper for me’. What are you gonna do….?

↑ su7kids

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 7:04 pm

I didn't say a piece of fruit has to satisfy his hunger, but it can give him something to do with his mouth until the food is ready.

That's # 1.
# 2, the reason I'm asking is, has he always been this way? Have you had him checked out by a doctor? Maybe he's not absorbing nutrients? There has to be a reason why the child is starving to that extent.

Personally, I would be concerned.

What is he eating for breakfast? Does he have a substantial meal?

↑ withhumor ↓

Mon, Feb 05 2007, 7:10 pm

My son is fine, he’s 7 now and he’s textbook height and weight, so is his baby sister, who looks and acts like him, he’s a big eater, a nachas to cook for. My 9 yr. old though eats half a scrambled egg for breakfast and is consistently gaining weight. They’re all eating the same food (schnitzel, one eats the crumbs, the other eats the chicken) but their metabolisms are different. One is mom’s and one is dad’s….

↑ faigie

Tue, Feb 06 2007, 6:09 am

a gillgul issue is an issue that someone has carried over from a pervious lifetime.
sometimes, when one is reacting oddly and strongly to an issue, its becuase that problem started in another lifetime, and they now have an inapropriate response in this lifetime.
this childs reaction sounds like it might be one of those.
id have some food ready for him, but id speak to the child when he is sleeping.I'd tell him that we have enough food, there is nothing to worry about, no one is starving anymore. that was a ast lifetime, and in this lifetime he has beli ayin hara, plenty.
if that didnt work id speak to the family mikubal.
only after all of those options were exhasted would I go further.
I hope that this doesnt sound to "far out" but imho we need to remember that our neshamos are all migulgall, and who know if this poor kid was last nifter in the camps.

Piper

Tue, Feb 06 2007, 11:04 pm

faigie wrote:

Say what? Huh? Question

greenfire ↓

Tue, Feb 06 2007, 11:16 pm

About the starving kid issue - my kids used to come home from school starving also. I always made sure they eat breakfast and I am not quick eat cereal on your way out kinda person...but through the years I have realized when they have eggs & bread their entire day functions much better. If they don't eat lunch or have a snack they still at least started off healthy & full. When they come home hungry now - it is reasonably hungry and not hungry like a bear or a wolf. If we have oatmeal or french toast - they are hungrier sooner. no protein.

↑ withhumor ↓

Wed, Feb 07 2007, 10:48 am

OK faigie this one is for your gilgul, not for you directly. So faigilgul, tell me: Imagine yourself waking up at 7, wolfing down a bowl of cereal, grab a banana and a cup of juice and run to school. Then, you wait patiently for 11:15 recess, and have a 1 oz. packet of potato chips. Then at 12:45 you go to the school lunchroom and wash for bread and warm soup. Then you have tuna with salad and a chocolate pudding (my kids have yummy hot lunches every day). YUM! Now go back to class and wait for the second recess at 2:45 (or 3:15). Have a plum and a granola bar. Now go back to class and sit some more and then get on to the bus at 5. then come home at about 5:40 and BARK I’m hungry!

Listen, as a mom I can tell you that by the time 11 o’clock comes, I’ve eaten triple the amount (quantity and calories0 than my kids eat all day. They’re really not eating a lot and that’s why I worked it out with my kids that if they have something filling for snack (a muffin, or a container of cantaloupe, grapes, mini sandwiches) then they can have an extra nosh too. They love the arrangement and they come home calmer.

I have a big dd and ds and my dd will eat all the starches that I give her and my ds will eat a whole chicken bottom and nothing else, he’s a protein guy. Does that make him a possessed person? He’s got a healthy appetite, until 120!

↑ withhumor

Wed, Feb 07 2007, 11:01 am

Even if he it’s healthy stuff (non-fattening) exclusively? Honestly, with my ds eating chicken bottoms (and his perfect weight) and my dd eating only baked potatoes (and she’s very overweight) it’s kind of hard to figure out who’s better off.