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Forum -> Relationships -> Guests

Seating guests

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Seraph

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 12:29 pm

when you have a couple over for a shabbos meal without kids who sit at the table, how do you seat everyone?

right now, its just me and my husband at the shabbos table, and when I invite couples over, I'm never sure whats the appropriate way to seat everyone...

Ruchel

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 12:29 pm

I would allow people to seat where they want.

cindy324

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 12:36 pm

I would seat the guy next to your husband on either side, and his wife right next to him, and you sit next to your husband on the other side.

DefyGravity

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 12:37 pm

DH and I show people where we sit and then tell our guests that they can sit where they want.

Mimisinger

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 12:44 pm

cindy324 wrote:

I would seat the guy next to your husband on either side, and his wife right next to him, and you sit next to your husband on the other side.

me too

Tefila

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 12:47 pm

Cindy us too Wink

chocolate moose

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 12:55 pm

I seat ppl where I think they'd be comfortable, and my kids not fight, and then I ask if that's ok with them.

lamplighter

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 5:50 pm

actually as a guest I'd rather be seated. When pple say seat yourselves where'd ud like, there is this awkward
few minutes of figuring it out (it's not like we figured it all out before hand and we wonder if perhaps u did) especially awkward if it is many guests, most of whom don't know each other.

I say seat them the way you'd like, most pple will be ok wiht most arrangements, keeping in mind 1)ur kids/or thier kids 2)nidda laws (no bench and yes I had that problem in many a succah) 3)near someone they know or can talk to 4) if it's a first time I think seat spouses near each other for sure 5)the woman will probably get up to help so put her ina place where it's comfortable to get up and got o the kitchen.
these are just some ideas though

chocolate moose

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:00 pm

Guess who mostly gets seated at the kiddie table !!!

peach

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:19 pm

Husband at head of table, you next to him on one side, the guest husband next to him on the other side, and guest wife nest to guest husband.

Ribbie Danzinger

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:26 pm

Problem with the suggestions here is that if the ladies want to discuss something other than what the men are talking about, they have to do it across the table so I would usually seat the lady next to me.
This still doesn't solve the whole problem because it means that the lady of the house gets to sit opposite someone else's dh. Not comfortable.

Some people's minhag (chassidish?) is that the lady of the house sits opposite her dh at the other end of the table. Then the guest can sit next to dh and his wife sits next to you at the other end, but still next to her dh (obviously not a looong table).

TzenaRena

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:29 pm

Quote:

Some people's minhag (chassidish?) is that the lady of the house sits opposite her dh at the other end of the table. Then the guest can sit next to dh and his wife sits next to you at the other end, but still next to her dh (obviously not a looong table).

That's how we do it!

Squash

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:32 pm

Ribbie, I think it's a yekkish minhag iirc.

malkie

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:34 pm

At home, I always sit next to DH and I seat my guests accordingly. If it's couples, I seat the husband and wife next to each other. If it's singles, I do girls on one side of table and boys on other side. When it's my DH's family, his father sits next to him (opposite me), my MIL next to FIL, then my BIL's (all single) around the table (including next to me).

When we are guests by someone else, I really prefer to sit next to DH, unless we are going to someone's house that I know very well (like a good friend of mine), otherwise I get uncomfortable.

lamplighter

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:34 pm

my parents did it that way so that there was a parent at each end controlling the masses

chocolate moose

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:36 pm

LA, cool new Avatar !!!!

Ribbie Danzinger

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 6:43 pm

Squash wrote:

Ribbie, I think it's a yekkish minhag iirc.

I seem to remember a story about the Besht that while he was still "hidden" his wife would sit next to him when they had guests, as was the habit of the lower classes, so that no-one would recognize him as a tzaddik. If it wasn't the chassidish minhag, then that story wouldn't be very significant.

lamplighter

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 7:16 pm

Thanks CM, I was getting bored of myself.

Breslov, sorry I didnt read ur post carefully and my answer was really very generic, but in ur specific case, I say husband and wife next to each other with husband nest to yours, you across from them, next to your husband.

Once my SIL invited us over and sat DH and I next to each other and her and my brother across from us. We were both a nidda and the non passing/passing situation was hysterical. In such a sitch I think it would been more comfortable seated differntly

chocolate moose

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 7:19 pm

many ppl don't seat spouses together.

peach

Tue, Jan 01 2008, 8:40 pm

chocolate moose wrote:

many ppl don't seat spouses together.

most couples feel more comfortable seated together, though.

is that out of practicality or b'shita?

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