WWYD- my son called his rebbe (indirectly) a monkey...

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 3:39 pm

It was my sons bday today (he turned 6) and we sent a nosh for the class
Turned out that my son told a kid that the rebbe is a monkey and that kid went to repeat it... the rebbe didnt let my son give out the nosh, pushed him off for tomorrow.

trying to think, is it normal for such a young kid to do this? call the rebbe names (indirectly)? and how do I approach this, I hope rebbe wasnt insulted from this stupid comment

mha3484 ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 3:43 pm

6 year olds say really dumb things heck my 14 year old says really stupid things. A rebbe for that age should know how to correct him and not take it too seriously.

amother

↑ OP

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 3:45 pm

mha3484 wrote:

6 year olds say really dumb things heck my 14 year old says really stupid things. A rebbe for that age should know how to correct him and not take it too seriously.

wow

↑ mha3484

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 3:46 pm

You have to teach him to speak respectfully and I assume the rebbe will also but I would not assume its super abnormal. They are really not mature people at 6.

notshanarishona ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 3:48 pm

It doesn’t sound like an unreasonable punishment. Depending on the context, that’s a pretty disrespectful way of talking about another person. Kids say silly things but disrespect should be addressed.

amother

Wandflower

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 3:53 pm

As a morah, I would just say we don't tattle. Very different than if he would say it to me directly. He was trying to get a reaction from his freind. It was wrong of the other kid if anything.
Edited to add though, as a parent, I would have no problem with such a punishment, I just don't think that's the way to win the rebbi's respect.

amother

Magenta

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 3:58 pm

amother OP wrote:

Such a young kid? I think he is way too old to do that. If he was 3 or 4 it would be okay. But 6??
I think the rebbe is right. If my kid said that I would have a talk with him. It's disrespectful for that age, he should already know better. Younger kids don't know what they're saying.

amother

Buttercup

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 9:56 pm

For a 6 year old to say it to his friend is silly and stupid to say. I would just blame that on lack of immaturity and not punish. (I wouldn't punish for such a comment for a kid under 9. The question is why would a rebbe punishment a kid? Well if it was said in middle of class the punishment is for disturbing another kid in a unimportant inappropriate way. Which is a behavior that could have a consequence.

amother

Mayflower

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:08 pm

Why am I the only one who thinks the punishment is completely inappropriate?

Your son said it to a friend, not the rebbe. We don’t even know the context of the conversation. To punish your son when another kid tattled on him is so wrong.

And not to allow your son to celebrate his birthday is double wrong! A birthday is the child’s one day to shine. Giving out the nosh the next day isn’t the same at all.

chanatron1000 ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:13 pm

If a six year old called me a monkey, I'd tell him off because it's important to teach that it's not acceptable behavior, but I'd be suppressing my laughter because that's actually adorable.

amother

Pear ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:17 pm

I would say it's an appropriate punishment if it was said to the Rebbe's face, not just because someone told on him.

Though even then, I think a punishment can be given without affecting celebrating his birthday. One has no connection with the other.

amother

Beige ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:33 pm

My prob is that the child did not call the rebbe a name to his face rather the rebbe was mikabel the lashon hara and then punished child on his big day. I understand the punishment if rebbe was called a monkey to his face but in this case the rebbe should have told the child thank you for telling me and acted like nothing happened
-my child called the rebba worse to his face at that age and he is now a very respectful young man

amother

Maroon

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:37 pm

Pretty normal for a 6 year old, but that doesn’t mean it shouldn’t be addressed.

However, the punishment is harsh in my opinion. It’s his birthday!

↑ notshanarishona ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:39 pm

Regardless if the Rebbe should have punished the kid based on what another kid said, in general, whenever as a parent, I find that unless my kid was wronged the right thing to do is stand by the teacher and show the teacher you allow them to discipline how they see fit. If your kid sees that you don’t care they will get away with whatever they want the rest of the year.

amother

Fern

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:39 pm

I think the punishment was uncalled for. He didn’t blatantly disrespect the Rebbi! He should’ve ignored the comment, let him continue with his bday celebrations, and then address it privately at a later time. He’s 6 for heavens sake! Sounds extreme to me and a lack of maturity on the rebbe.

As a parent I would definitely address it - but also in same way- in a calm, sit down way so he learns his lesson for the future, not just for the punishment.

amother

Springgreen

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:41 pm

Am I the only one singing happy birthday now in my head, "you look like a monkey and you act like one too" he for sure was just singing the song happy birthday to you, you belong in the zoo...definitely sounds age appropriate and poor kid for being punished on his bday

Raizle ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 10:49 pm

I don't agree with the teachers response.
It was heresay. Did he even know the context? Or did he take tattle tales comment at face value? Do you know if your kid even said it or did the other kids make it up. At that age, like someone else here said, I would have told the kid not to tattle.

amother

Salmon ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 11:02 pm

amother Springgreen wrote:

Yes! My first thought actually.

amother

Chambray ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 11:05 pm

notshanarishona wrote:

But the child didn't say it to the rebba. The rebba overheard a conversation & punished a 6! year old because of that. That is harsh & if the rebba is so sensitive, he's working with the wrong age children. 6 year olds tend to say silly things. We don't need to hear & acknowledge everything they say.