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Forum
-> Yom Tov / Holidays
-> Rosh Hashana-Yom Kippur
amother
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 Today at 10:12 am
I will ask a rav but I’m curious what others do.
He just turned 12 at the end of the summer.
I know there’s something about fasting on Yom Kippur the year before bar mitzvah?
Anyone know?
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amother
Peru
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Today at 10:14 am
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There is a concept of chinuch for yk, so from a certain age (depending on the child) we do increasing amounts of fasting. My kids fasted a full yk at 12 but they knew it was not a problem to break it if they needed to.
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amother
Maroon
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Today at 10:17 am
Minhag.
Some ppl fast 3 fasts before bar mitzvah some do not.
We have minhag over 9 fasts until Chatzos
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tweety1
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Today at 10:19 am
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You should ask dh. What his family did. In my family we don't fast until bar/bat mitzvah. Dh family fasts y"k before. So we just that.
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amother
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Today at 10:20 am
My family is chassidish, Sanz for reference, we hold that anyone under bar or bas mitzvah is not allowed to fast.
My husband likes to retell how he was there when the Rebbe called his grandson who was to be bar mitzva mere days after YK and made him break his fast.
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mha3484
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Today at 10:21 am
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My son did but practically speaking by age 12 he went for the full YK davening and there wasn't a whole lot of time for eating.
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Chayalle
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Today at 10:45 am
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Not my family's minhag nor DH's.
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amother
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Today at 10:56 am
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Fasting before bar bas mitzva only litvish minhag as gar as I know never heard of chasidem fasting before. We are very careful to make sure the 12 yr Olds (boy) do eat!
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Ruchel
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Today at 11:02 am
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My soon bar mitzva bh bh fasts so badly. He's tried a bit... I don't know how he'll handle next year. Iyh Moshiach will be there.
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amother
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Today at 11:03 am
| Ruchel wrote: | | My soon bar mitzva bh bh fasts so badly. He's tried a bit... I don't know how he'll handle next year. Iyh Moshiach will be there. |
Even with moshiach here we’ll still fast on Yom Kippur.
Its Tisha B’Av that we won’t need to fast.
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amother
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Today at 11:04 am
| Ruchel wrote: | | My soon bar mitzva bh bh fasts so badly. He's tried a bit... I don't know how he'll handle next year. Iyh Moshiach will be there. |
You do know that we still will be fasting Yom Kipper.
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Ruchel
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Today at 11:05 am
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But our problems will be solved
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watergirl
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Today at 11:05 am
Both my husband and I both heard there is a minhag in which one must fast for three fasts leading up to bar/bat mitzvah so we made our oldest few do this. After reading on this site (thanks imamother!) that people asked their LORs who said NOT to do this, we asked our own who was so frustrated that people even think this is a thing.
Our rav (chassidish) told us it's cruel to make anyone fast who does not have to, and there is NO reasoning or backing for this and it's not anything close to a minhag. He called it cruel shtus.
We have to be very careful to check in with our own rav - all of us - before doing things that we just do because it sounds like it's a thing.
Last edited by watergirl on Thu, Sep 26 2024, 11:08 am; edited 1 time in total
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amother
Jean
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Today at 11:06 am
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No. We don't do that. There's no mitzvah to fast earlier than needed.
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Ruchel
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Today at 11:07 am
| watergirl wrote: | Both my husband and I both heard there is a minhag in which one must fast for three fasts leading up to bar/bat mitzvah so we made our oldest few do this. After reading on this site (thanks imamother!) that people asked their LORs who said NOT to do this, we asked our own who was so frustrated that people even think this is a thing.
Our rav (chassidish) told us it's cruel to make anyone fast who does not have to, and there is NO reasoning or backing for this and it's not anything close to a minhag. He called it cruel shtus. |
Unfortunately when many at school do some kids want
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Elfrida
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Today at 11:09 am
| amother OP wrote: | Even with moshiach here we’ll still fast on Yom Kippur.
Its Tisha B’Av that we won’t need to fast. |
There ate views that the chagim (with the possible exception of Purim) will all have a different significance and be celebrated differently in the times of Mashiach.
If you want to discuss it further, start a spinoff.
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amother
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Today at 11:11 am
| Ruchel wrote: | | Unfortunately when many at school do some kids want |
That's why they have parents who can tell them that they can't.
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Elfrida
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Today at 11:13 am
| watergirl wrote: | Our rav (chassidish) told us it's cruel to make anyone fast who does not have to, and there is NO reasoning or backing for this and it's not anything close to a minhag. He called it cruel shtus.
We have to be very careful to check in with our own rav - all of us - before doing things that we just do because it sounds like it's a thing. |
Cruel sounds a bit extreme to me. Extraneous, yes, but many twelve year olds can fast with no problem, and many twenty year olds still have a hard time. It's more based on personal metabolism and physiology than age.
I have no argument with the concept of asking a Rav, or following his answer. Just the way he expressed it.
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