Do you miss America?

amother

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:31 am

For those that have moved to Israel after being settled in America for a long time- do you miss America? Do you feel homesick ? Like you just want your old life back?
We’re thinking about moving - but I do like my life in America and I am worried about feeling sad that I lost my life. Any thoughts?

essie14 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:34 am

amother OP wrote:

Nope. When I visit I make it as short as possible. Love my life here.
I made aliyah at 34, for reference.
I have zero desire to live in America right now.

amother

Vanilla

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:36 am

I might be the wrong person to answer this question, since I made Aliyah as a young adult. But I think it's normal to miss one's old life when they move. The key is to focus on adapting and getting to love your new life, as well. For most people the homesickness fades with time. (We went back to the US to visit a year after our Aliyah, and I felt that was helpful for us to gain closure. Going back every year and staying too emotionally attached to the old country is probably counterproductive, though.)

amother

Taupe ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:39 am

No way! Super happy here
Only missed it the first 2 years after Aliyah
I think it depends how much physical items such as products etc serve to give you comfort… if you aren’t so attached to American items it’s not a big deal
I think also if you appreciate Israeli life - meaning the climate, culture, standards (hotter weather, people are more relaxed/less focus on materialism and proving each others worth, more warm culture, being direct, the food here, nature, etc) it will be a much easier change. I directly place the most emphasis on the last parts as being contingent since thats a) what youll be getting and b) your adjustment to aliyah will highly depend on how much you dislike either of those things or how well you will adapt.

Another note: for most people there is a "test" or transition period that is hard and its totally normal and to be expected. Like most important things in life, aliyah is by no means perfect from the onset, but after being here 5+ years I am so thankful for every living day here beyond what words could express. I wish you a happy and easy transition if you go ahead with aliyah! Come join us!

amother

Lemonchiffon

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:41 am

amother OP wrote:

Not at all. I thought I would, I didn’t even want to move. The longer I’m here though, the less I miss it. This is the place of the Jew, we have no other home. America isn’t ours and the longer you’re here, the more you feel it (at least for us).

Reality ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 12:45 am

amother OP wrote:

My DH and I liked our life in America too. So did our kids. None of us miss it for one minute. Our life here in Israel is so good. If the topic comes up, every single one of my kids thank us for making aliyah and say they would never move back. Life here is amazing for children! The only downside is living far from family. Bezrat Hashem, they will move soon too!

All I can say is thank you Hashem!

amother

Tan

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 2:14 am

I made aliya at 19. But the answer is no, I don't miss it.

There were a few things that I did miss - like compost bins, and shopping bag fees. But now supermarket bags here cost 10 agorot per bag and reusables are standard. And we do have compost more variety of recycling bins here. I missed my natural deodorant, and it took me a while to find one I liked here. I went through a baking-soda phase because of that. But now I just order the one I used to use on iherb. Last time I ordered a larger number so that I would have for a while.

Basically there are a few specific items that I missed. One or two are still not here but I'm fine without them. The rest have come to Israel already or I can bring them. But it's not the stupid "I miss Honey Nut Cheerios waahhhh I wanna go homeeeee I hate this place" that my sem mates had, and I'm not willing to spend an outrageous amount just to buy American mayonnaise or snacks.

I also miss specific *people*, just a handful of them. But I realized very quickly after aliya that even if I had stayed I would still miss them....because people get married and move away and that's just life. The exception is my siblings and aging grandparents.

ora_43 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 3:25 am

I love America. I miss America.

But I don't want to be there. I love my life here. I like seeing America once every few years, and there's always something about being out in nature in my part of the states that feels, to part of me, like coming home. But returning to Israel also feels like coming home, and much more strongly.

Full disclosure, though, I came as a teenager and I've been here a long time. So the whole "wanting my old life back" doesn't really apply - in my case, my life there was high school. There are also a whole lot of practical reasons why raising my kids in the town I grew up in wouldn't be workable.

amother

cornflower

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 3:38 am

I miss certain things I had in america and life has definitely been more challenging for me here in certain ways without those things, but do I miss the country as a whole? certainly not.

made aliyah at age 38.

I didn’t love the city I lived before though—it was like america on steroids. very materialistic, superficial… I felt like I lived in a giant marking lot. all practical, no soul. no sense of possibility.

life is sometimes hard here but I love it.

amother

Turquoise

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 4:16 am

I'm also making aliyah and I'm so nervous about it. My husband has had to change career which is such a shame. These posts have been very helpful.

Can anyone explain why it's so great for children there compared to the west?

↑ DrMom ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 4:22 am

amother Turquoise wrote:

This is probably community-dependent, but I feel like like here kids grow up in a less materialistic atmosphere and one which affords them more freedom and personal responsibility than in the US.

↑ ora_43 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 5:28 am

DrMom wrote:

This is probably community-dependent, but I feel like like here kids grow up in a less materialistic atmosphere and one which affords them more freedom and personal responsibility than in the US.

Agree with this.

Eg in the states my kids would be entirely dependent on me to get them around. Here they have a lot of public transportation options - plus simply walking/biking, since everything is closer together and streets are more pedestrian-friendly - so they can be a lot more independent.

There's more focus on being resilient, celebrating life, having a sense of humor, while in some circles in America victimhood is practically worshipped and dark humor is taboo (<- probably not an issue in frum communities, but honestly, a real problem in my former circles).

amother

Mocha ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 5:39 am

The longer I am here, the more I miss certain aspects of life abroad even though I love Israel and appreciate it too as time passes.

I miss having normal shops to go to. I just want normal high street clothing and designer brand names (which I love the quality of and get on sale occasionally like a coat, bag). I've gone years without shopping and I hate it. No fashion sense here.

Also, the culture here is so unrefined. Can't really get used to that. Neighbours are so noisy and are inconsiderate of others. Driving here is insane in frum neihbourhoods especially. People leave their bins scattered all over, I literally hear people Fart in public, pick their noses etc.

People are very close minded here. Talk about Gedolim all the time and they seem not to have a mind of their own. It's very black n white thinking for many. e.g. sheitel length, internet use, clothing for boys can't be too trendy.

Can't get used to the meddling atitude. people are always inserting themselves in situations and conversations when they're not asked because they trying to be helpful. E.g. on public transportation or at the park, they'll offer us their spare ice cream. these people are nice but as a non native, I can't get used to it.