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Attachment or anxiety



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amother
OP  


 

Post Fri, May 03 2024, 2:50 pm
My 8 year old presents with lots of behavior that I am unsure how to deal with because I'm not sure if she's being clingy because she has attachment issues or because she scared and anxious.

Each thing I would treat diffy
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amother
Plum


 

Post Fri, May 03 2024, 2:54 pm
attachment issues and anxiety are connected to each other often
How do you feel your attachment is with him?
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amother
Jasmine


 

Post Fri, May 03 2024, 3:08 pm
How is he otherwise? Poor attachment wouldn’t wait till 8 age to surface
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amother
PlumPink


 

Post Fri, May 03 2024, 3:12 pm
What’s school like? How warm is it? Is she doing well academically and socially? At this age most of these issues are caused by their school day. They either need help and are struggling or are being treated unwell. I’ve seen this play out and when the issue is dealt with the kid is night and day.
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amother
Pink


 

Post Fri, May 03 2024, 3:14 pm
I vote anxiety, I don't see attachment as a root cause generally, unless maybe you're talking about a kid in the foster care system who grew up with gross neglect. Anxiety however, can cause attachment issues via intrusive thoughts.
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amother
  OP


 

Post Fri, May 03 2024, 3:53 pm
Ok. I will explain more.

Child- "Mommy, I don't know what to eat"

Me-"do you want tuna"

Her-"no"

Me-do you want potatoes, eggs, sandwich, yogurt"

Her"no"

Me "you think of something and let me see if e have it or I can make it"

Her "no. You need to. I don't know what he have"

This back and forth happens at least once if not twice or three times every day. She pulls me in. I know she has attachment issues because she is very needy, complains I don't spend enough time with her even when I do. She needs to know when I will or won't spend time with her otherwise she pesters me to no end. She loves school but after yom Tov didn't want to to go back because she will miss me. She is one of two children. So it's not that she didn't t get time with me. She wants me to stay with her in her room till she falls asleep because she is scared. She gets scared a lot but mostly she's scared and wants me, with makes me think that maybe she just wants me. She wants me to change her pullup for her, stay with her when she gets dressed, take out her underwear for her from the basket, put on her socks etc.. She complains I didn't play with her on shabbos after she was out all day playing. She wants me to do crafts with her all the time even on Friday and also doesn't help a lot. Basically there's an unhealthy dynamic going on and I am not sure how to change it. Maybe attachment is not the right word. Maybe it's attention, connection etc. In the wrong ways.
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