Out Of town simcha

amother ↓

Tue, Jul 01 2008, 5:14 pm

Going to a simcha out of town, arrangements have been made for all of the mechutanim's family, to be staying by complete strangers. What does such hospitality usually include?
1. Meals? Self-service?
If we dont want to risk bad weather preventing our arrival and would like to come the night before, are we supposed to bring food with us? If it's a community with no stores/activities nearby and we will not have a car, will we be considered overdoing it by hanging around their house until the afternoon? And again the next day? Or do out-of-towners get used to this as par for the course?
Towels?
Anything else we should prepare for?
What kind of thank you gift for hostess?
Thanks for advice.

soldat

Tue, Jul 01 2008, 5:23 pm

amother wrote:

Going to a simcha out of town, arrangements have been made for all of the mechutanim's family, to be staying by complete strangers. What does such hospitality usually include?
1. Meals? Self-service?

this depends - are you staying at homes w/ reliable kashrus? what we've done in the past is bring food to the homes where guests are staying, and have set up a hospitality suite at the hotel where the wedding was.

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If we dont want to risk bad weather preventing our arrival and would like to come the night before, are we supposed to bring food with us?

Ask. if kashrus is an issue, then you probably should.

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If it's a community with no stores/activities nearby and we will not have a car, will we be considered overdoing it by hanging around their house until the afternoon? And again the next day? Or do out-of-towners get used to this as par for the course?

highly recomend you rent a car.

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Towels?

not necessary.

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Anything else we should prepare for?
What kind of thank you gift for hostess?

things that you can't get out of town. books, a nice bottle of wine, chocolates, a challah cover... you get the idea

Mommy3.5

Tue, Jul 01 2008, 5:34 pm

you should not expect to have full service, while you are on vacation the people who have opened up their house to you are not. Bring as much as you can so you minimize the burden on the family. Call the people who arranged for you to stay, and ask what is appropriate.

If you have kids, its not really fair to have all the kids running free in someone else's house making a mess for others to clean. It would be best if you could arrange for day trips. (it was for this reason alone I chose to go to a hotel for most of the time we were OOT for a wedding)

Try to arrange for a car, you and your host will be happy you did.

↑ amother

Wed, Jul 02 2008, 2:07 am

Thanks for advice. We didnt know what to expect, seems mechutanim themselves dont have enough experience, too harried to give clear guidelines about their community. Very awkward plopping down by complete strangers for 4 days! embarrassed

They cant even tell us yet by whom we're staying, no idea of kashrus standards, kinda scary all the unknowns.
In other communities, I know of cases where they had a whole booklet, with maps where everyone is staying, lists of shopping, sight seeing, shuls, etc and planned activities for the guests. Nothing like that is forthcoming here, feel like we're sailing into the unknown....

su7kids

Wed, Jul 02 2008, 5:08 am

amother wrote:

post anonymously that you are visiting a particular community and ask what services and facilities there are there.

I agree, rent a car, its worth it to not be a burden to anyone. How else are you getting to the wedding? Cabs out of New York can be quite expensive and not as commonly used as IN Ny.