Cutting my hours | Imamother

amother

↑ Oatmeal ↓

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 8:08 pm

amother Cornsilk wrote:

My littles were v happy with a sitter. It is when they are older that they start to need you more in the evening.
I totally get it but for me it works well to do long hours 3 days and then a half day on 1 day and have Fri at home. I still work 50 hours/week.

If your family is happy then don't worry about others pressuring you to do it their way.

Your littles were happy because they couldn’t communicate properly. The older kids give a harder time because they are older and smarter and can advocate for themselves.
It’s actually more important to be there for younger kids vs older kids.
It’s stressful and unfair to kids to be sent to a babysitter after school.

amother

↑ Oatmeal

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 8:09 pm

amother OP wrote:

Kids are naturally very resilient. My kids are 3 and 5 and this is the only life they know. They have never once complained and they are the happiest kids alive!

Kids are resilient is the most misused line.
It’s used every time mothers feel guilty as a catch all phrase.
Kids need their mothers when they come home from school.

amother

Crocus

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 8:17 pm

Op I find on imamother the majority of the women don’t work full time and are very vocal about how screwed up kids are because their mother doesn’t take them off the bus.

I’ll tell you this. My mother worked very part time because she had kids and she was not the type who sat and played with us. She needed the stimulation of an office not 5 whiny kids. That affected us. A lot. She resented having to work less And the fact that we had less money.

After 7 years I’d ask if I can cut my hours and keep the same pay if that’s what important. But if you love the job and you have a good routine and your kids are happy then keep doing what you’re doing until you can’t.

I also work full time. I have a nanny so my kids come home to her. My older ones do their own thing and actually enjoy the down time. The younger ones get personal attention from the nanny that I would never be able to give.

Then when I get home they all jump on me and I spend some time with them. Would I like the littles to go to bed a little earlier? Yes sometimes. But they also need a roof over their head and health insurance etc.

Don’t let anyone guilt you into doing what you don’t believe is best for your family.

amother

Calendula

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 8:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

I've been working 9-5 ever since I got my first job 7+ years ago. I really think it's something I've been handling well. I get a fresh supper on the table every night, I keep my house clean and my laundry under control...I'm bh expecting my 3rd baby now and I'm under tremendous societal pressure to cut my hours to work until 3. I really think I can handle working full time and we also really need the money. Do I cave to societal norms and pressure or continue to work full time? Maybe there's something wrong with me? In my community, ppl typically cut down when they have their 1st baby. I get so many comments and jdugement even now working full time with 2 kiddos..

We need the money, too. But I'm home when my kids come home. I do work some nights to make up for lost time. But the total hours are still part time. So we live simpler lives. Of course it's easier to work full time. Are you the competitive type/having to be the best at your office?

You're never going to get this time back. Your children are at sitters/school+sitters all day? That's just sad.