Do you miss America?

amother

Mauve ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:07 am

I would take a flight right now, go to Target and to a regular frum grocery store, and then I’m ready to come back home. Okay fine, and also spend some time with my siblings who I miss desperately.
I think I need to visit USA once a year to give me a boost and remind me why we live here. But I haven’t been in almost 2 years because of the matzav and finances.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:13 am

amother Mocha wrote:

The longer I am here, the more I miss certain aspects of life abroad even though I love Israel and appreciate it too as time passes.

I miss having normal shops to go to. I just want normal high street clothing and designer brand names (which I love the quality of and get on sale occasionally like a coat, bag). I've gone years without shopping and I hate it. No fashion sense here.

Also, the culture here is so unrefined. Can't really get used to that. Neighbours are so noisy and are inconsiderate of others. Driving here is insane in frum neihbourhoods especially. People leave their bins scattered all over, I literally hear people Fart in public, pick their noses etc.

People are very close minded here. Talk about Gedolim all the time and they seem not to have a mind of their own. It's very black n white thinking for many. e.g. sheitel length, internet use, clothing for boys can't be too trendy.

Can't get used to the meddling atitude. people are always inserting themselves in situations and conversations when they're not asked because they trying to be helpful. E.g. on public transportation or at the park, they'll offer us their spare ice cream. these people are nice but as a non native, I can't get used to it.

There is high end fashion over here. How about shops in Kikar Hamedina in Tel Aviv and Ramat Aviv mall, have you tried those?
By the way, how long have you been living here? Do you live in a chareidi neighborhood?

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:16 am

amother Mauve wrote:

Question: Is Osher Ad supermarkets somewhat comparable to American ones?

shabbatiscoming ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:19 am

amother Mocha wrote:

Im so sorry that this is your experience living in Eretz Yisrael. Please know that this is NOT how it is all over the country.
Im going to assume you are from the UK from some of the things you wrote. Israel's culture is very different, thats for sure, but maybe get out more, from your specific community and see that that is really not how all of or most of israelis are like.

↑ shabbatiscoming ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:20 am

ray family wrote:

I love living here and wouldn’t want to live in America. With that being said there are lots of things that I miss about it. Family, shopping, the ease, amongst other things.

Can you explain this? Ive been here over 20 years and things are not hard. At least thats how I see it. Or did you mean something else when you said with ease?

↑ Reality ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:24 am

Why is life better here for kids? As others said the ease of inter-city transportation makes kids independent and not constantly relying on mom and dad to take them everywhere.

Besides for that the culture is more meaningful. For example, what did my teens in NY do for fun? Mostly shopping and going out to eat.

Here in 🇮🇱 the possibilities are endless. My teens will pack a picnic and go to the separate beach. They'll go camping or go on a local hike with friends. They'll go to the kotel and explore the Old City. They barely ever just shop with friends. There's usually another more spiritual or earthy component.

amother

Holly

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:29 am

Ive been here 18 years. Im happy here and have zero desire to live in the usa. But there are stuff I miss..mostly conveniences. Clothes shopping is much more enjoyable there, decent parking lots at every store, and shopping carts that are actually easy to push!
I also miss american snacks..I just cant get myself to get excited about bissli and doritos lol.

↑ Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:33 am

There's something surprising when one had been in Israel for a few years and go back to home country, only then one realizes how one had become used to israeli ways. I had a hard time the first few years here and was delighted to go on a two weeks vacation in my home country. To my great surprise I wanted to come back to Israel after ten days Smile

heidi

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:50 am

amother Holly wrote:

I've been here 18 years- and feel the same way.
I miss conveniences- normal clothes shopping, especially for teenagers- decent parking lots and normal shopping carts. I miss the food- there is no amazing meat in this country- no matter how much you're willing to pay. I miss overnight camps for kids- where they get inspired religiously much more than in Bnei Akiva.
I wouldn't be willing to trade my life here- I love the values - the ahavat eretz yisrael and am yisrael. The wonderful - practically angelic people who make up this country
But Osher Ad will never be Target- not in anyone's wildest dreams and I miss it.

↑ ora_43 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 6:54 am

Reality wrote:

I cannot believe I just read an amother doesn't like people offering to share extra ice creams instead of throwing them out!

What will we think of next to complain about?

It's funny but I kind of get it. Some cultures are very focused on not bothering other people. The downside is that they're less likely to proactively offer help, or to form strong community bonds.

Other cultures are very focused on friendliness and helping others, very "we're all family," but the downside is that one person's "I'm enjoying my life and happy to help others" is another person's "your music is too loud and I don't know you, please go away."

Sounds like that amother is from a very "Bothering People is the worst; don't bother me and I won't bother you" culture, while Israel is toward the opposite end of the spectrum (and hareidi and arab communities in Israel are the far opposite end, very community-focused with little concern over bothering).

↑ ora_43 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 7:03 am

I'll be honest, I don't get the Target thing. I've been clothes shopping in the US, I've been to Target. It's hard to find tznua clothes and I didn't find Target any more convenient than the local shopping center, which also has cheap clothes, makeup, and books, just in separate stores.

In general I think most things have an upside and downside.

Upside: American homes are bigger. Downside: bigger homes means everything is farther apart, to the point where you have to get in the car for something as simple as buying milk or going to the playground.

Upside: American stores have a million different kinds of snacks. Downside: I don't actually want to eat (or want my kids to eat) a million snacks.

Upside: huge, well-funded public libraries, YMCA. Downside: those are necessary indoor spaces, since outdoors is too cold to enjoy for almost half the year.

Upside: Americans are very polite. Downside: harder to know where you really stand with people.

etc

What's easier or harder tends to be very individual.

amother

↑ Mauve

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 7:53 am

Bnei Berak 10 wrote:

Question: Is Osher Ad supermarkets somewhat comparable to American ones?

First of all, it’s the food and ingredients that I miss. Israeli food is amazing, just not what I grew up with.
Secondly, definitely not the Bnei Barak one!! People are loud and pushing, none of the carts wheels roll straight, some products are just randomly missing from shelves, rude rude rude workers, no sandwiches, no fresh baked goods, no delivery and have to bag myself, produce isn't the greatest quality….
But the point was not to complain. I LOVE living here. I just miss going grocery shopping in the USA like a normal human.

↑ DrMom ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 8:35 am

amother Mocha wrote:

1. I am so glad there is no pressure to wear designer things here. I don't want my bandwidth being taken up with such things.

2. I haven't witnessed any excessive public farting (ew), and the driving isn't so bad where I live.

3. In my community, we don't talk about gedolim incessantly, so I guess this is community-dependent. Not sure if #2 is also linked with the particular community in which you reside. (???)

4. Oh how horrible! Somebody offered you free ice cream. Srsly? Rolling Eyes

Aside from #4 (I don't even see why this is a cause for complaint), maybe you would benefit from changing communities/neighborhoods?

↑ essie14 ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 8:42 am

amother Mocha wrote:

#1 there is a lot of high end shopping in high end areas. Tel aviv, savion, herzliya, Netanya, etc.
#3 I have no idea where you live or what community you're a part of but I have never experienced that. Sounds like you're in a small bubble and feel stifled.

amother

Hawthorn

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:04 am

DrMom wrote:

Aside from #4 (I don't even see why this is a cause for complaint), maybe you would benefit from changing communities/neighborhoods?

How validating of you. Perhaps this is why she hates it there? Why would anyone bother answering only to be invalidated like that?

amother

↑ Mocha

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:34 am

Honestly, I am glad I didn't post under my screen name.

To clarify, it's not about the ice cream, it's about the culture behind it. Very meddling. I like to mind my own business. When I do need the help, I don't get it like struggling with a stroller.

We have our neighbour comment how he heard our baby scream all night. I can't imagine getting such a comment from where I come.

There are many many pros to living here but it's hard to give up certain things. To have a overfriendly taxi driver shouting about his political beliefs is really unpleasant. Telling me how to parent my kids etc.

I live in Jerusalem.

↑ Reality ↓

Wed, Aug 28 2024, 9:39 am

amother Mocha wrote:

I don't know where you come from originally but I think you are viewing it with rose tinted glasses.

I lived in many areas in the US before making aliyah. There are rude and polite people everywhere!