S/O Yeshivish humor

ddmom

Yesterday at 4:38 pm

amother Nectarine wrote:

Did you hear about the brisker who killed himself? He was choshesh he was descended from Amalek.

Really not funny! Sorry

amother

Dandelion

Yesterday at 4:44 pm

amother DarkViolet wrote:

Hi, Meet us.
I think this is common among other yeshivish people not just Brisk. My dh has never been to Brisk but we only buy Heimish hechsherim, Not tights at 3 but knee socks. I know others like us (very yeshivish but not Brisk)

It's very likely that it's because whatever Yeshivas your husband and his Rebbeim attended are influenced by Brisk. Lakewood (old Yeshivish Lakewood) in general has been. So while technically R' Aharon was from Slabodka over the years there has been a very heavy Brisk influence in BMG and the like. At the almost opposite end of the spectrum you'll have a Yeshiva like Chofetz Chaim (also Slabodka) that has basically no Brisk influence which is why its less "Yeshivish".

amother

Clover

Yesterday at 4:46 pm

Tao wrote:

Although this one is sad

I heard a similar version. Just thought the lubavicher was last.
The rebbe said what are you doing here? So he told him. The rebbe gives him a dollar and says “Hatzlacha oif dein shlichus”

↑ synthy

Yesterday at 4:46 pm

ddmom wrote:

Really not funny! Sorry

Omg no it’s not, especially after what happened in Lakewood this year. Gosh I’m so triggered now Crying

amother

↑ Alyssum ↓

Yesterday at 5:35 pm

How many Brisk guys does it take to change a light bulb? One. He holds the bulb in place and the world revolves around him.

amother

↑ Alyssum

Yesterday at 5:43 pm

A chossid goes to his doctor and says “doctor I want live until 100. What lifestyle changes do you recommend?”

The doctor says, “become a litvak. No farbrengins, not so much as a Lechaim to drink, no singing during davening, no shmoozing in the mikvah, no Toamehu erev shabbos, just simple foods, serious slow davening, and learning.”

“OK, then I’ll live to be 100?”

“No,” says the doctor, “but it will feel like it.”

↑ PinkFridge

Yesterday at 5:47 pm

amother Alyssum wrote:

Ooh, them's fightin' words. (But I laughed.)

amother

DarkGray

Yesterday at 11:36 pm

Funny how this thread titled Yeshivish humor is mainly only about briskers!

Anyway...

Two poskim were driving together and the one who was driving went through a red light. The other rov said "What are you doing? You just went through a red light!"
The rov answered "You call that red??"

(Just told to me by my dh after we had some "red" bedikas that were deemed fine and "not red" by the rov. Lol )

amother

Bubblegum ↓

Today at 12:34 am

These are fabulous

Literally wheezing from laughter and I'm chasidish

Interesting to nots that this thread has so many ppl not chapping jokes or humor is that a litvish thing? Like taking things too literal...

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 12:48 am

It's not that the kollel guy didn't want to get up in the middle of the night for his baby and help his wife out. It's just that he knows to make every decision based on a passuk, halacha or sugya. And the most appropriate passuk he could find for these circumstances is: Rabbos machshavos b'lev ish, v'atzas Hashem...hee sakum!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 12:49 am

amother Bubblegum wrote:

Yeah, we have absolutely no sense of humor. Don't you know us by now?

Iymnok

Today at 1:19 am

Is it an American thing to value Brisk over others?
I don't get it.
It also seems that so many don't really know the Brisk mehalech.

amother

Plum

Today at 1:22 am

keym wrote:

That said an old classic.
What yeshiva was Yaakov Avinu and Yosef in?
Answer. Bais Hatalmud. That's why 19 years later, they were still in the same sugya

I heard that the Satmer Rebbe Zt"l was came up with that one. And he added proof from Rashi, that Yakov sent Yehuda to make a "Beis Hatalmud" in Goshen.

amother

↑ OP

Today at 2:03 am

Another old classic perfect for the yeshivish dating world of today:

A bachur is talking to the father of the girl he's dating seriously before the date.

Father: So, how do you plan to support yourself after you get married if you'll be learning in kollel?
Bachur: I'm not worried. Hashem will provide.
Father: And what about an apartment? How will you pay the rent?
Bachur: I know Hashem will provide.
Father: And a car? They don't come cheap these days.
Bachur: I'm sure that Hashem will provide for us.
Father: And when there are kids bezras Hashem? What will you do then?
Bachur: Hashem will provide for all of our needs.

When the bachur and the girl leave for their date, the boy's mother turns to the father:

Mother: Well? What did you think?
Father: What a sweet boy. He just met me and already he thinks I'm Hashem.

amother

↑ Kiwi

Today at 2:44 am

amother Bubblegum wrote:

Omg:lol

You are waay too serious about this.
Ppl don't get the jokes bc they're not familiar with that type of Yeshivish(so many types lol)

For some reason chassidish ppl think they're the only happy ones around Can't Believe It

amother

Maize

Today at 3:11 am

Loving this thread but don't get all the jokes. Non chassidish (but mixed in that we are half litvish, half yekkish) background but I also live OOT so many specifics are lost on me. It has nothing to do with no sense of humor because we are not chassidish. Just that some nuances never made it to our city. Like pompoms on yalmukahs.
(Kichels sometimes has me laughing at "how odd can Lakewood be?!" Because we are not like that at all here...)

amother

Darkblue

Today at 3:57 am

amother Kiwi wrote:

It's Minhag E"Y to not fast when pregnant (according to our very yeshivish Rav) so all yeshivish here don't fast here when pregnant.
Not sure about other people but all my very yeshivish siblings and cousins and lakewood don't fast when pg or kids under 2.

I wouldn't generalize that - We do fast and many yeshivish ppl I know do too.

amother

Periwinkle

Today at 5:49 am

amother Maize wrote:

Just that some nuances never made it to our city. Like pompoms on yalmukahs.
(Kichels sometimes has me laughing at "how odd can Lakewood be?!" Because we are not like that at all here...)

maybe Im guilty of reading things literally, but in my defense its 530 wm, so my fuzzy brain feels the need to clarify.....

Pompoms are a mashal, not a "nuance".
I assume thats what youre trying to say?

However, I will agree that it was sheer kichel brilliance. we have the kichel books and the page where chaiky buys the pom pom yarlmukahs is in most of my household's top 5!

I encounter a nimshal almost every day! Some are more odd to me than the non existent pom poms.

amother

Begonia

Today at 8:39 am

amother OP wrote:

There is, of course, another way to interpret this:

"Rabbos machshavos b'lev ish, v'atzas Hashem hee......Sakum!"

(Feel free to quote this as needed.)