S/O Yeshivish humor

↑ #BestBubby

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 12:53 pm

amother Burgundy wrote:

Nope as a Chassidish women I don’t get this or any other joke on this thread. And I went to a yeshivish seminary!!!!!!

They don't say "el" or "ya" because it's Hashems name. hence

Kelisheva (elisheva), kelikahu (eliyahu)

Ginger kale ( ginger ale)

Last edited by #BestBubby on Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:15 pm; edited 1 time in total

↑ keym ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 12:59 pm

This is a joke, don't take it seriously.

You know how the vekker wakes up the boys in Pragers.
"1 slot available in Brisk for the first one there"

summer0808

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 1:04 pm

A yeshiva boy was checking in at the ELAL counter to fly to EY. Security asks him 'which yeshiva are you going to?' Boy says 'Pragers'. Oh! you couldnt get into Brisk?

BTW I'm chassidish and DH learns in BMG so I get all the jokes!!!!

Thanks for the laughs!

↑ keym ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 1:06 pm

summer0808 wrote:

That's a funny joke but would never happen.
No boy leaves to ey planning on going to Pragers. They all go planning on going to brisk and then.....

LOL

But it's a funny joke.

ittsamother ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 1:35 pm

A guy raced into shul huffing and puffing and turned to a Yekke standing there. "Is it time for mincha yet??"
The Yekke looked down at his watch and said, "No," paused for another 3 seconds, and said, "Now it is."

amother

Pear ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 1:51 pm

amother Myrtle wrote:

Some bochurim who weren't accepted snuck into Brisk. R' AY announced everyone who doesn't belong should leave. A bochur called out "I'll pay for half the party!"
(Hint: kamtza and bar kamtza)

I heard this as a true story of one bachur snuck into R’AY’s shiur . . And R’AY liked the answer (I’ll pay for half the se’udah) so much that he let him stay.

water_bear88 ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:02 pm

scruffy wrote:

A yekke told his wife he'll be home late from Shacharis on December 4th because davening would have vsein tal umatar l'vracha

Just because I have to show MO can be Litvak too, it would be Shacharis on December 5th - V'tein tal u'matar starts at Maariv on the 4th Hiding

Bethany85

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:04 pm

You heard about the bochur who went to EY for Winter Zman. On Chanukah he called his father excitedly “ta, did you know they duchen on Chanukah in EY?!”

amother

↑ Rose ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:13 pm

a bochur goes to his rosh yeshiva a few days after purim for permission to go home early for pesach. when asked why, he responds "I have it all worked out. I go home now and date, then I will be able to come back engaged right after pesach. I will go back summer bein hazmanim to get married and be back R"ch elul."
The Rosh yeshiva says "fine, just wait one more day"
the bochur asks why and the response is "its better for a bris not to be on shabbos"

↑ water_bear88

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:16 pm

keym wrote:

I heard an old story of the Brisker Rav but I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's funny.
The Rav came into the kitchen a week before Pesach and saw his wife taking apart the oven and scrubbing with bleach and a toothbrush (or whatever). He said that's not necessary.
She said "if we relied on you, we'd be eating chametz on Pesach"

I've heard a similar story about Rav Yosef Dov Soloveitchik, where his wife was away for several days and came back to find her husband and son eating cereal and milk with fleishig bowls and spoons. She, naturally, was horrified, and her husband tried to reassure her that it was all cold and perfectly fine according to the Shulchan Aruch. Legend has it she replied, ''You and your Shulchan Aruch are going to treif up my kitchen!"

amother

Molasses

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:24 pm

Genius wrote:

Hey, I got most of the jokes here! I should bakik my tzitzis.

Same here, chassidish as well.

amother

Obsidian

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:34 pm

Genius wrote:

Hey, I got most of the jokes here! I should bakik my tzitzis.

Haha me too!
But my son is in a litvish Beis Medrash (yeshiva gedolah for us chassidim) and wants to go to Israel next zman. I hear all about Brisk and Pragers. I should send him some of the jokes!

amother

↑ Rose ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:56 pm

Bethany85 wrote:

You heard about the bochur who went to EY for Winter Zman. On Chanukah he called his father excitedly “ta, did you know they duchen on Chanukah in EY?!”

or as seminary girls say "in america they do birchas kohanim only on yomtov, but in EY they do it every shabbos!"

amother

Winterberry ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 2:58 pm

An oldie but a goodie...

Brisk bochur goes on date with BJJ girl. First date so they're discussing time in Eretz Yisroel. She's going on and on about Rebbetzin David and mentions how she taught them that when you say "shelo asani [non jew] in the morning, you shouldn't think about some drunk homeless guy. You should have in mind the President."

Bochur says back, "When I say shelo asani isha, I have in mind Rebbetzin David."

amother

↑ Winterberry ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 3:01 pm

DS who learned in Brisk said that there's a certain chassidishe Rebbe called the Shpoiler Zeidei that apparently Brisk maintains was made up and never actually lived.

A bochur tried everything to get into Brisk but they told him there's just no room. So he told Rav Avrohom Yehoshua, I'm an einikel of the Shpoiler Zeide, so according to you I don't exist and don't take up any space, so how can there not be room for me?"

Rav Avrohom Yehoshua laughed and liked the line so much that he let him in!

↑ Chayalle ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 3:07 pm

water_bear88 wrote:

In all fairness, my Hungarian Bobby would say the same thing.....milchigs and fleishigs in her kitchen were way beyond Halacha.

amother

Azure

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 3:23 pm

amother Winterberry wrote:

I think this is the best part of the joke. There is proof that he lived, there are records of the mofsim he preformed and there are writings of other Rebbes about him.