S/O Yeshivish humor

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:27 am

You asked for it...

A Breslover and a Brisker sit near each other on a plane. The Breslover turns to the Brisker and goes,
"Na!"

The Brisker looks at him and says "SH!"

Breslover: Na nach!

Brisker: SHHHH!

Bresolver: Na nach nachman!

Brisker: SHHHHHH!

Breslover: Na nach nachman m'Uman!

Brisker: SHHHHHEMAAA!

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:29 am

A newly married Brisker was found eating on a ta'anis. His wife asks him what he's doing and he says "In Brisk we're machmir on even the smallest ch'shash of pikuach nefesh."

His wife sits down to join him and he goes, "In Brisk, the wives don't take on every chumrah."

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:31 am

A Brisker was caught by a terrorist.

Terrorist: I'm going to kill you now.

Brisker (excitedly): You mean I'm going to die al kiddush Hashem?

Terrorist: I'm just loading my gun...

Brisker (with uncontrolled glee): Baaarucccchh Atttahhhh Hashemmmmm....allll kiiiiduuuushhh

Terrorist: Are you insane? Get outta here!!

Brisker (running after him): Nu, nu! Bracha l'vatalah!! Nu!

keym ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:33 am

I heard an old story of the Brisker Rav but I have no idea if it's true or not, but it's funny.
The Rav came into the kitchen a week before Pesach and saw his wife taking apart the oven and scrubbing with bleach and a toothbrush (or whatever). He said that's not necessary.
She said "if we relied on you, we'd be eating chametz on Pesach"

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:33 am

What's the best yeshiva?

Yeshivas Mordechai Hatzaddik; it has the longest bein hazmanim.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:37 am

Two guys were having an argument over who was the real yeshiva bachur, Avraham Avinu or Choni Hama'gal.

First guy: It had to be Choni Hama'agal. He took the longest nap in history, woke up, saw his chavrusah wasn't there, and went right back to sleep.

Second guy: No, it was Avraham Avinu. He went touring around Eretz Yisroel and knew all the best cuts of meat.

First guy: It can't be Avraham Avinu. He's the one that invented shachris!

amother

Ivory ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:39 am

amother OP wrote:

Two guys were having an argument over who was the real yeshiva bachur, Avraham Avinu or Choni Hama'gal.

First guy: It had to Choni Hama'agal. He took the longest nap in history, woke up, saw his chavrusah wasn't there, and went right back to sleep.

Second guy: No, it was Avraham Avinu. He went touring around Eretz Yisroel and knew all the best cuts of meat.

First guy: It can't be Avraham Avinu. He's the one that invented shachris!

amother

Maroon ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:39 am

keym wrote:

The Brisker Rav told his wife that he took care of selling all the Chometz except for her.
She told him not to worry, her father had already sold her to a [gentile].

↑ keym ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 10:59 am

You heard about the BJJ girl who went on a date with the Brisk bachur.
After one date, says it's not for me, he says krumme pshat in the Tosfos

amother

Rose ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:02 am

the brisker ravs son comes to visit him on chol hamoed sukkos and sees his father sweeping the sukkah. the father looks at him, wags his finger and says "its not a minhag".
the next year someone sees the son sweeping the sukkah and the son looks at him, wags his finger and says "its not a minhag"

↑ keym ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:05 am

Not so much a joke. An observation with a lot of truth.
So many yeshivos- mir, ponevezh, BMG, Chaim Berlin pass down so many of the positions to the son in law not the son.
Because the Son in law was chosen

amother

Geranium ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:05 am

amother OP wrote:

What's the best yeshiva?

Yeshivas Mordechai Hatzaddik; it has the longest bein hazmanim.

Please explain

Chayalle ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:07 am

keym wrote:

You heard about the BJJ girl who went on a date with the Brisk bachur.
After one date, says it's not for me, he says krumme pshat in the Tosfos

The Sefer on the dashboard is hers, after all....

scruffy ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:07 am

amother Geranium wrote:

Please explain

Yeshivas Mordechai Hatzadik is a learning program on Purim, similar to Avos Ubanim

↑ Chayalle ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:07 am

amother Geranium wrote:

Please explain

Yeshivas Mordechai Hatzadik is in session Purim. It's closed the rest of the year....

↑ keym ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:08 am

Chayalle wrote:

The Sefer on the dashboard is hers, after all....

After all, the joke goes that the BJJ girl is looking for someone to support her so she can stay in learning her whole life

↑ Chayalle ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:11 am

keym wrote:

After all, the joke goes that the BJJ girl is looking for someone to support her so she can stay in learning her whole life

Hey, I think DH and I need to have a serious discussion about this. LOL

↑ keym ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:11 am

This is a political yeshivish joke. Iykyk

During megillah, what gets the loudest raash?
When the baal korei says Eitz. Half the shul claps and cheers and half the shul boos and shakes the gragger

↑ scruffy ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:12 am

keym wrote:

This is a political yeshivish joke. Iykyk

During megillah, what gets the loudest raash?
When the baal kotei says Eitz. Half the shul claps and cheers and half the shul boos and shakes the gragger

Lol!!

↑ Chayalle ↓

Mon, Jan 13 2025, 11:13 am

This is really old, but back in my day they used to say about Bachumim in shidduchim that you need to find out if he's merely (Mirly) walking or Briskly walking.....