What’s harder- little kids or big kids

amother

Firethorn

Today at 1:22 am

Op, I’m in the stage of kids ages 11-27. 100% the youngest stage was by far the most brutal. I felt exactly like you when I was in your stage, and thank you HaShem I’m loving loving the parenting the past 5 years or so. It’s totally a wrong saying “small kids small problems, big kids big problems “. I didn’t believe it then, just like you, and I can prove it wrong now. Yes you do! Have what to look forward to! It only gets easier and more enjoyable as they get older. I’ll add 2 things though, firstly I had my youngest when my oldest was 16, and secondly I put in a ton of good parenting and cried buckets of tears to HaShem to help me succeed. Can’t stop thanking HaShem now, and of course I still need to always polish my parenting and the prayers never end! You can do this! Hang in there!

amother

Apricot

Today at 2:04 am

When my kids were small I couldn’t imagine what count harder than caring for my completely dependent little children. Carrying them, feeding them, wrestling them into the bath while they cried while trying to get the shampoo out of their hair. Cleaning the floor under the high chair, not sleeping through the night….. you get the idea.

Now we are in shidduchim.
While my body feel too old and achy to chase in the playground and to bend to pick up all the Lego, the mental stress and heartbreak rips at your heart and soul in a much more exhausting way. If only problems could still be solved with a lollipop, sticker and kisses.

amother

Clover

Today at 2:07 am

amother Burgundy wrote:

I have ages baby to teen.

I always hated when ppl told me, "little kids little problems, big kids big problems". Recently a relative told me this as I was struggling with my little ones. And I responded -I actually have big kids now! And I disagree.

I find the baby & toddler stage the hardest by far. They are yummy, precious, adorable AND also take so much out of me, and perpetually keep me exhausted in a way my older ones just don't.

It's true older kids are more complex, more moody, more independent minded, not as ready to toe the line etc. But they don't keep me up all night AND wake up the crack of dawn, and need to be fed, and changed, and dirty diapers / toilet training / accidents, tantrums, it's never ending...

I find it easier to have both stages the same time in a way bec my big ones help hold the baby, entertain the young ones, and give me some more mature company. On the other hand they want me at night once my littles are finally down, and I can't let the house fall apart or make super super simple suppers like when I only had little ones. And I'm always feeling torn between older / younger ones needs. Still overall I think it's easier. Being able to go to the bathroom without taking the baby with me, or worrying what could happen without me around for 5 min is quite nice!

Was gna post exactly this. 💯

Also, no one mentioned the Nachas (IYH by all of you!). Sure, you can enjoy your little kids and their smiles and hugs just melt your heart, but there’s nothing like watching a child you raised turn into a mature, responsible and all-around wonderful young man/lady.

amother

↑ Mauve

Today at 2:13 am

I think the comments show that it depends how difficult your teens are!
I had impossible babies, think screaming for a year, climbing, running, dangerous, never still for a minute.
But some of my teens are even harder.
Also the poll is going to be skewed because some women don't have teens yet.

amother

Goldenrod

Today at 3:36 am

amother OP wrote:

I hear you, but there’s also so much letting go that needs to happen with little ones.

If they don’t want to eat what I serve them, I can force or let go. If they don’t want to wear what I put out for them, I can fight them or let go. I find myself constantly needing to let go of control with my little ones…

So maybe the letting go with older ones is more related to your sense of self and ego, but letting go is happening for me for a long time already and it’s very hard.

Butt into conversations? My kids don’t even let me talk in the first place. I cant have a conversation with DH because they’re constantly interrupting, sensing a threat to their attention… or needing to be heard RIGHT NOW.

I’m just seeing that they’re both very challenging. And maybe it depends on the personality of the parents?!

I just can’t accept that this is supposed to be the easier stage. It just can’t be.

You need to tell your kids you are speaking to Totty now, you will have to wait a minute or two.