Poll Do you find group chat mazel tovs annoying?

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Forum -> The Social Scene -> Chit Chat

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Do you find lots of mazal tov or bdes annoying on a group chat

Yes

61%

[ 82 ]

38%

[ 52 ]

Total Votes : 134

devorah1231 ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:33 am

On my block chat, whenever there is a simcha or unfortunately a shivah, everyone feels the need to chime in with a mazal tov or bde. Even though really often the people it's about aren't on the chat! I try to just emoji the original message to show I am with them without needing to ping 30 phones. It annoys me that I need to temporarily mute the chat every time.

Am I nuts to find it annoying? IyH having a baby soon, thinking about posting that ppl can message me privately with their messages so as not to fill up the chat but don't know if ppl will find it insulting.

1ofbillions

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:37 am

It doesn’t annoy me. I think it’s sweet.

987gold

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:37 am

Put it on silent and your life will be different.

↑ devorah1231 ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:39 am

987gold wrote:

Put it on silent and your life will be different.

I've been using the mute for 8 hours option when this stuff starts... I do want to be able to help if someone needs something or find out if something is going on, so not mute all the time. It's more annoying on text chats that can't be muted.

When dh had a birthday and everyone started messaging on his family chat I quickly posted to remind everyone he IS NOT ON THE CHAT. I get it if the person is there, makes them feel popular and wanted, but if they aren't seems pretty silly.

Last edited by devorah1231 on Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:40 am; edited 1 time in total

JasmineDragon

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:40 am

I find it annoying but I wouldn't make an announcement about it

ohmygosh

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:42 am

devorah1231 wrote:

I agree with you.

write4right

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:43 am

I find it annoying in other groups but I feel like that's literally what my block chat is for.

chocolover

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:48 am

Mute the chat permanently

miami85

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:56 am

I will say mazel tov without posting it. How about 1 person texts "mazel tov" and then people can "like" that text so it's not binging constantly.

↑ devorah1231

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 9:58 am

miami85 wrote:

I will say mazel tov without posting it. How about 1 person texts "mazel tov" and then people can "like" that text so it's not binging constantly.

I do that with emoji for celebration. Always hoping it'll catch on lol

ccwife

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 10:10 am

miami85 wrote:

I will say mazel tov without posting it. How about 1 person texts "mazel tov" and then people can "like" that text so it's not binging constantly.

I think only smartphones can do that.

#BestBubby ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 11:45 am

I think BDE is disrespectful,

That you can't be bothered to write it out

Boruch Dayan Emes

Cheiny

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 12:39 pm

ohmygosh wrote:

I agree with you.

Agree. I think people should private message directly to the person the message is addressed to, instead of clogging up everyone else’s phones.

seeker ↓

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 2:15 pm

I guess it depends how big your block is. Is this an apartment building block with 100+ members or just 15? On a smaller group I'm fine but in larger groups I find it very annoying. Yes, all my groups are muted, but even so I do check them to see what's up and if I see I missed 30 messages and check what's up, it's annoying to sift through all the mazal tovs to find out if I missed anything more substantial.

Besides being annoying, I have two actual beefs with this:
1. It's a self-perpetuating issue - if 10 people already posted mazal tov, are people going to think I'm rude and unfriendly if I don't?
2. I worry about it inadvertently turning into a popularity barometer that could make people feel bad even while everyone means well. Like one person's new baby gets a few "mazal tov!"s and the next person gets a whole slew of them with added exclamations on top. Maybe now the first person feels small. Or the second person is someone everyone knows hasn't had kids in a number of years and now has twins - you can understand why more people are exclaiming, but I still cringe for the "ordinary" baby the day before/after.

Maybe I'm just oversensitive but these things bother me. When I had a simcha I did not count mazal tovs or look for any particular feelings, but I still wonder about others.

Then there was the time I mentioned "btw the family is not on this chat so maybe send your wishes to them directly, I can give you their number if you need" and I practically got my head bitten off so what can I say 🤷‍♀️

NotInNJMommy

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 2:20 pm

I use the mute function when groups get busy like that. And I left another group for other reasons but it also means I don’t get any of that.

And when there is something to respond to, I either do a click reaction if I don’t know them. If I do, I send a DM.

bayis ne’eman

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 2:46 pm

I have my block chat muted for this very reason ! And yes I do occasionally miss messages because of this and but that’s ok ! There is absolutely nothing that’s so time sensitive that I regretted muting it

Tao

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 2:52 pm

YES! I think it's absurd to have 78 "mazel tov!" s! The first persion should just write mazel tov, and everyone else should react to that message or the original one!!!

↑ #BestBubby

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 7:48 pm

Every Mazel Tov is a Brocha.

Why wouldn't one want many Brochos?

↑ seeker

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 7:53 pm

#BestBubby wrote:

Every Mazel Tov is a Brocha.

Why wouldn't one want many Brochos?

For the above-mentioned reasons.
You can always give the bracha personally. Posting it on a public group of 100+ members feels more like social posturing.

Mollie

Sun, Jan 12 2025, 7:55 pm

Group chats should never ping. Why are your notifications on? Put it to notify you only on private. Nothing important is on a group chat. You’ll be notified privately.

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