Who pays for late transportation?

amother

OP ↓

Today at 2:22 am

The detention thread got me thinking, my 13yo so just started yeshiva which is a 30 min bus ride from the corner of our block. If he misses that 6 am bus there’s a ride at 7:30 for $10. He missed the bus multiple times and my husband paid for it. I keep telling my husband that he won’t learn a lesson unless he pays for it himself. That means his saved bar mitzva money would be gone by now. I honestly don’t know if that will help him be on time. Any ideas?

amother

Saddlebrown

Today at 2:28 am

You need to tell him that he gets one more miss (or he gets 2 passes for the semesters) and after that he pays (or pays 1/2- I don’t know your finances). He needs a warning and future pass as it is very daunting to not have a get out of jail free pass in your pocket, but he also needs to know it is not unlimited.

(On a side note, I would definitely pay $10 to sleep and extra 1.5 hours in the am.)

amother

Midnight

Today at 2:35 am

Maybe tell him he has to earn it by doing some extra chores around the house. And I like the idea of he gets 2 free passes a semester etc.

GLUE

Today at 2:48 am

What time does school start?
Does he come late if he gets the 7:30 ride?
How early does he get to school if he gets the 6:00 ride?
What time does school start?

If he gets to school on time with the 7:30 ride maybe you should pay for it and think of it as a transportation expense, he is 13 years old and needs the extra sleep. Feel free to disagree with me

amother

Candycane ↓

Today at 10:23 am

Wow - a 6 AM bus for a teenager is really really early.

It would be hard enough for an adult to have to leave their home to catch a 6 AM bus or train but teenagers generally have sleeping rhythms that make early rising especially hard.

Is there some way for him to have a somewhat later bus on a regular basis

amother

↑ OP ↓

Today at 11:28 am

It is early and yes I would def sleep in and pay as a teen as well!! But the question is why he doesn’t get reprimanded when arriving late? Also, I’m paying bus transportation as well!! I don’t want to tell you how many boys squash into that little car at 7:30!!
I will discuss with him the 2 free passes, and also see what he misses when arriving late. Thank you all

amother

↑ OP

Today at 11:30 am

Is it my responsibility to wake a 13 yo child and see him out? ( 5:30 is super hard for me!) Or at this age he should take full responsibility? Because 2 people can not take responsibility for one thing. If I take it on me he will completely drop it.

amother

Periwinkle

Today at 11:31 am

Sending your kid out at 6:00 when there’s a way to have him leave at 7:30 and not be late would not even be an option for me. You said you already paid for the bus at 6:00, any way to get the rest of your money back? How much does that come out to per day?

amother

Ebony

Today at 12:00 pm

amother OP wrote:

Um yea, I think most 13 year old boys need someone to wake them still. Even in dorms they have an older bochur who goes around waking them.

amother

↑ Candycane

Today at 12:08 pm

amother OP wrote:

I would think most parents still feel responsible to help a 13 year old get out of the house especially at such an extraordinarily early time.

This is an age when it is physically very difficult for them to get up so early as they need more sleep than adults.

If getting up at 5:30 is hard for you it is much more difficult for your son.

You made the choice to have him take such an early bus as it appears there is alternative transportation that would let him sleep longer - which is healthier for him anyway.

amother

Salmon ↓

Today at 12:09 pm

6am for a 13 year old is just not ok!
They're still kids and not fair to them.
I am very against boys having to be at shachris so early at such a young age. But I won't change the system.
If u feel your child can make the 6am bus but isn't because of something he's doing (going to sleep late) then its up to you how many passes you want to give him but he needs to know your expectations and get a warning.
If he misses for things beyond his control (simcha the night before) then give him a pass.
If he's a kid that just can not get up in the morning (yes, there are people like that) then set your expectations lower and discuss it with him. You understand it's hard for him but it's a responsibility and he has to learn to do it. I don't know what the right thing about payment is for this situation.
Do you get up to wake him?

amother

↑ Salmon

Today at 12:10 pm

amother OP wrote:

YES! It is your responsibility!
He's still a kid!

sweetpotato

Today at 12:16 pm

6 am bus sounds like a really tough and unrealistic option for a 13-yr old. Is there any middle ground? I’m not surprised he’s missing it—even the most responsible and mature kid would have a hard time waking before 6 am every day. That’s really a lot to expect.

If this bus is the only option honestly I’d have rachmanus on him and praise him for the days he makes it and forgive the days he misses.

Bnei Berak 10 ↓

Today at 12:34 pm

amother OP wrote:

YES it is your job and responsibility. He is 13 and still a child!
Why do you pay for the 6 o'clock bus?
When do lessons start?
When does he finish school? When does he go to bed?

amother

Steel

Today at 12:36 pm

If you can't get up at that time how is a 13 year old supposed to get up? That's a totally different deal than the detention thread.

↑ Bnei Berak 10

Today at 12:38 pm

amother OP wrote:

You wonder why he do want get reprimanded when arriving late.
I think you need to contact school and ask them. To be blunt but it's your job as a parent.

amother

Blushpink

Today at 12:39 pm

amother OP wrote:

Yes!! You expect your child to get up early and you can't get up yourself? That looks really bad I don't know how you would even reprimand him with a straight face. How about either you wake him up or you pay the $10...does that motivate you?

small bean

Today at 1:01 pm

You or your husband definitely need to be up with him and there should allowance to sometimes miss the bus if he's generally good about it.