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Forum
-> Parenting our children
amother
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 Today at 1:05 pm
| sequoia wrote: | | What I never understood is, what’s the point of forcing your child to behave when they’re small, only for them to cut you off as soon as they can? Does anyone really look at people whose adult children have gone no contact and think, “yes, that’s what I want.” |
Of course not, but that is not the standard even amongst abusive parents. So people don't think of something that they see happening less than 1% of the time. Almost every parent is trying their best with the tools they have.
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amother
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Today at 1:08 pm
| sequoia wrote: | | What I never understood is, what’s the point of forcing your child to behave when they’re small, only for them to cut you off as soon as they can? Does anyone really look at people whose adult children have gone no contact and think, “yes, that’s what I want.” |
This isn't accurate. That's not what behaving means and that's not what child raising is and that's not how cutting off works and that's not how abuse works.
There is zero correlation between potching that is not purely abusive and people going no contact with their parents.
Potching as part of a larger pattern of abuse and control is not what we're talking about here at all.
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amother
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Today at 2:36 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | Let me tell you something. A 6 year old out of control is one thing. A 12+ year old male is something quite different. It’s SCARY. The few times that I had it, even though I wasn’t getting hurt, it really triggered me. You need to think of a lasting solution because this doesn’t go away by itself. It gets worse when the testosterone hits. |
What’s a lasting solution?
I have a four year old like this and am stumped. Potchign or aggression doesn’t help. I need help understanding him. I started reading the explosive child. Considering if he needs another evaluation not just from board of ed.
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giftedmom
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Today at 2:42 pm
| amother Pumpkin wrote: | What’s a lasting solution?
I have a four year old like this and am stumped. Potchign or aggression doesn’t help. I need help understanding him. I started reading the explosive child. Considering if he needs another evaluation not just from board of ed. |
Professional help if you can’t hack it yourself. The younger you start the better.
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amother
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Today at 2:55 pm
| giftedmom wrote: | | Professional help if you can’t hack it yourself. The younger you start the better. |
I need help. Don’t know what kind.
He’s four I can’t turn back in time.
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amother
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Today at 2:58 pm
| amother Pumpkin wrote: | I need help. Don’t know what kind.
He’s four I can’t turn back in time. |
Good inside by Dr. Becky is a very good resource. She also has more resources.
Dr. Laura Markham has a book, workbook and may online resources.
Good luck
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giftedmom
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Today at 2:58 pm
| amother Pumpkin wrote: | I need help. Don’t know what kind.
He’s four I can’t turn back in time. |
He’s young enough. If you’re located in NY hamaspik or a similar org can help.
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amother
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Today at 3:34 pm
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Nurtured Heart is amazing for difficult kids.
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