Hair length post sem

amother

OP ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 5:42 am

I know imamother style I might get a bashing for this, but I will ask anyways hoping that someone or someones will answer me honestly.
for out of town but very frum/yeshivish - what hair length is appropriate if waering fully down, and what length if partially pulled back? I was giving haircut to a girl who asked me what I thought. Personally, I am very machmir on myself with my shaitel and my hair (when I was single), so I don't know what is considered "normal". I know I had once heard 4 inches below shoulder if partially pulled back, but I dont remember where I heard that. Would love to know for the future if asked by a client.
Thanks

amother

Strawberry ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 7:30 am

4 inches past shoulder is LONG to me! funny that you call that being ‘machmir’ I wear my hair amd shaitel above my shoulders, per my preference.

amother

Taupe

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 7:33 am

Most yeshivish oot girls in my community generally wear a few inches (2-4) past the shoulder.
definitely not to elbow.

I am machmir and go about1-2 inches with my sheitel.

Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 8:22 am

There are all types. The type of modern yeshivish who don't cover leg /fully in summer also don't tie hair. In fact more don't tie hair I think. I personally have a long sheitel and wasn't asked to tie it for teaching in a strong BY that asks girls to tie hair

bookstore15 ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 8:24 am

Ruchel wrote:

Modern yeshivish! That's a new term to me!
I think it's very community-specific. What are other people that age group doing in your area?

amother

↑ Strawberry

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 8:28 am

bookstore15 wrote:

Modern yeshivish! That's a new term to me!
I think it's very community-specific. What are other people that age group doing in your area?

modern yeshivish is DEF not a new term! it’s been around for at least 20 years

↑ bookstore15

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 10:15 am

amother Strawberry wrote:

modern yeshivish is DEF not a new term! it’s been around for at least 20 years

New to me I guess What

What does it mean?
I feel like those are quite different, how can you combine it?

amother

Brunette ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 10:18 am

Ruchel wrote:

I don’t think not covering legs would be considered yeshivish in most places. Here modern yeshivish just means they are more worldly, might read vetted secular books, has filtered internet etc.. also hair and legs are in different categories.

amother

Maroon ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 10:19 am

bookstore15 wrote:

New to me I guess What

What does it mean?
I feel like those are quite different, how can you combine it?

I associate this term with people who affiliate themselves with the yeshivish world and, in many ways, idealize yeshivish values, but who live a less sheltered lifestyle with more relaxed dress norms for both men and women. They send to mesivtas and BYs, then beis medrash and BY seminaries, and do shidduchim.

amother

↑ Brunette ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 10:19 am

Totally down and loose I’d say shoulder length or an inch past. Pulled back, away from the face can pull off 2-3 inches past shoulder.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 10:52 am

amother Strawberry wrote:

4 inches past shoulder is LONG to me! funny that you call that being ‘machmir’ I wear my hair amd shaitel above my shoulders, per my preference.

I agree. I wear my sheitel at my shoulder and as a single my hair was at shoulder, or if any longer then I wore it half up. What I meant was that I once heard 4" if held back a little in some way and was wondering if that was the accepted "standard" since I don't really know.

amother

DarkViolet

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 11:09 am

amother Maroon wrote:

In my circles it's just referred to as "Chilled". I guess because they don't identify with modern hashkafa.

amother

Midnight

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 11:12 am

I’m modern orthodox so this is fascinating to read. What are the sources/Halachos for this measuring hair situation? I never heard of this but learnt Hilchos nashim in depth. How do they teach this in the Bais Yaakov system? And what age, is it bat mitzvah age they start measuring the hair?

amother

↑ Brunette

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 11:16 am

amother Midnight wrote:

It’s not with actual measuring stick. It’s always, very long unkept hair is not considered refined or tznius in our circles. We don’t usually have 12 as a start for tznius things it all usually starts earlier. Young girls will wear ponies so they can get away with longer because a neat pony is fine even if it’s a little longer. It becomes a thing when girls want to wear their hair down.

amother

Coffee

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 11:18 am

Not to go off on a tangent here, but Modern and Yeshivish is a bit of an oxymoron. Sounds like they’re JPF.

amother

↑ Maroon

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 11:20 am

Once people start using a phrase, it's in circulation, regardless of whether it makes sense or is logical. The question is, what are the people who use such a phrase referring to. If people start calling brown horses, "acorn donkeys," then it's useful to know how the term is being used, even if you think it is a silly choice of words. People use the phrase "modern yeshivish," even though I personally don't care for it.

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 11:31 am

Thank you so much for all the replies!
A follow up question that someone IRL just asked me - where is considered the shoulder - some say shoulder is where neck meats the slope of shoulder and some sat the lowst point of the shoulder (furthest edge, I guess). This person said that she even heard someone call the shoulder blades "shoulder" in terms of where measuring hair length starts. These are three very different places and the hair length would be very very different based on them! Very interesting to me....
Whe I look at my hair/shaitel, I thinkI look at my shoulder as the middle point between where my neck meets shoulder and the esge....

I am so happy that there was no heated backlash as in my expeience there usually is for tznius discussions. Way to go Imas!

↑ Ruchel ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 11:56 am

amother Brunette wrote:

And yet in summer vacation I see it. Definitely not what it taught in school but 🤷‍♂️

amother

↑ OP ↓

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 3:08 pm

Ruchel wrote:

And yet in summer vacation I see it. Definitely not what it taught in school but 🤷‍♂️

there are definately all different types of yeshivish ranging from just right of modox to super chareidi frum (I don't know another way to describe the frummest of the frum). The girls I am refering to are very frum right wing yeshivish out of town. Not sure what to name them, but if you know, you know.

ocean blue

Mon, Jan 06 2025, 5:24 pm

I had the very same question and this is the answer I received from a well known mechaneches. Hair should not reach past the armpits. Applies to sheitels as well.
You can not measure hair length in inches, because one length could look fine on one person and not on an other. One person could have a long neck, etc.
Since then, I looked around, and it seems that the people that are considered frum yeshivish keep to this standard.