Double Take: Separating Classes by Yeshivishness

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Forum -> Chinuch, Education & Schooling

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imaima ↓

Fri, Dec 27 2024, 5:55 am

amother NeonPink wrote:

I'm really torn.
I understand the school but as a parent, the kid who took my son down the dangerous route of open internet etc was the son of the local rosh yeshiva.
What would I choose for my own kids?
I don't know anymore. I think that sometimes being with kids who have btdt and don't have the temptation for it is healthier than the very narrow yeshivish outlook.

The son of a rosh yeshiva would have ended up in the fummer class anyway

↑ imaima

Fri, Dec 27 2024, 6:01 am

amother Electricblue wrote:

Some parents could very well complain. So what? She should grow a backbone and do the right thing.

If everyone complains, it probably means the whole thing is a bad idea

amother

↑ Ivory

Fri, Dec 27 2024, 8:45 am

amother Clear wrote:

Why does any child need to hear such garbage from their school? What kind of chinuch is that? Trashing their parents? Gross.

Agree 100%.

So they’re not trashing ‘parents’. Some teachers/principals are trashing smartphones. Well, since half the parent body has smartphones……. That’s trashing half the parents.

amother

Aster

Fri, Dec 27 2024, 8:59 am

imaima wrote:

The son of a rosh yeshiva would have ended up in the fummer class anyway

I believe that was the poster's point. thinking that my having a yesheivish class you are sheltering your kids is really just fooling yourself.

BH Yom Yom

Fri, Dec 27 2024, 12:18 pm

The elitism makes me want to vomit.

Honestly - I get the concern about exposure to garbage through technology - but being among people who are outwardly a certain “type” is not a guarantee that a kid will stay sheltered. It’s on us as parents to build up a sense of confidence and positive pride in our kids - not by belittling or otherwise knocking others, but by emphasizing how amazing, fun, exciting, whatever it is that we do things a certain way.

The principal’s inflexibility and refusal to think about Avigail’s ruchnius and chinuch is nauseating. It sounds like she either is clueless or is conveniently ignoring the social struggles Avigail had in the past and the fact that she finally found a solid group of friends that she felt comfortable with and who are helping her grow in her avodas Hashem. She is definitely not acting in Avigail’s best interests. And if Avigail does become influenced by the less yeshivish class the irony is that the principal will no doubt insist that “Oh I was right, Avigail’s yeshivishness was just a phase, it’s good I put her in the less yeshivish class.” Um, only because you took away her opportunity to go in the direction she felt more connected to. And as a previous poster mentioned - this decision also is likely to destroy Avigail’s chances of getting into a high school that is a good fit for her (especially if the high schools call the principal for “information” (aka motzi shem ra) about her).

flowerpower

Fri, Dec 27 2024, 12:54 pm

Very nauseating article! No one is above anyone. No one is better than anyone else. No one is immune from being exposed. Even the “best” can be exposed in ways you don’t expect it. Teach your kid that there are other kids that are not like you and you accept it while working hard on being you.

amother

Lightgray

Sat, Dec 28 2024, 8:25 pm

I thought this was so cruel. And the opposite of frum.

allthingsblue

Sat, Dec 28 2024, 8:40 pm

I read it and thought it was extremely sad

Not at all in line with Torah values

momma 17

Sat, Dec 28 2024, 10:43 pm

One of my father's favorite lines is
"Frum frum crum" (twisted in Yiddish)

amother

Tomato

Mon, Dec 30 2024, 1:33 am

Here is the problem: yeshivish is not the only way one can be frum. An ehrlichebaal habayis a frum plumber, an ehrliche electrician are just wonderful ppl. Dividing a school based on the fathers job is idiocy

amother

Oxfordblue

Sat, Jan 04 2025, 11:37 pm

As someone who grew up in a more "modern" family but who chose to befriend the frummest girls in the class, I can safely say that I would not have married my husband had I been in this school and been separated from my friends. My husband is a Rav and we have a Torahdik home. That is entirely due to the influence of my friends who all came from this type of home.
By separating girls like Ariella from her friends, you are preventing girls like me from being influenced by the "better" girls.
At the same time, plenty if yeshivish kids are the bad influences in the class.

I think the principal was being ridiculous, and missing the forest for the trees.

amother

Plum

Sun, Jan 05 2025, 11:36 am

I don't actually have a problem with dividing the class according to yeshivishness, if it's so important to those parents. I teach in a community school that doesn't divide its classes and I can see how some girls from sheltered, chassidish homes are friends with girls from extremely open MO homes and it is not at all good for them. And there are plenty of parents who would love to split the school except that financially it's not realistic.

Having said that, it's hard to imagine a principal so rigid and blinkered that she can't understand that a girl who's different from her family doesn't belong in the modern class. I mean, isn't this partly what she's trying to accomplish with her chinuch of these girls? For them to strive higher in ruchniyus?

I think she's just a snob. I find it hard to believe that there are really so many parents - or any at all - in the modern class who want to switch their daughters. One switch wouldn't do any harm at all. And it also wouldn't cause the yeshivish parents to open a new school. Please.

I'm glad this is fictional and I really doubt this would happen in real life. Unless I've just been lucky all my life and only had to do with intelligent, empathetic, emotionally aware principals, who want the best for all their students. Do people like this woman really exist in real life?

pearlprincess

Sun, Jan 05 2025, 12:44 pm

I'm confused. Yeshivish supposedly means that they are Torahdick .. what happened to v'ahavta l'reacha ? I think we all have to wake up to the fact that it is very rare these days to have kids with no exposure.. even in the most sheltered homes.. when there is a will there is a way! especially since there are electronic stores who have no issue selling to kids under 18!

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